Well World Pride kicked off last Friday and Matt and I went to city hall for the Flag Raising and to watch performances. It was fun, but hell waiting and waiting was excrutiating on my back standing there. You know you are getting old when your back stiffens up from standing on hard pavement for over 4 hours and you are unwilling to pay 10 bucks for a beer!
We did get to see some great performers though. There were a couple different gentlemen singers and then one of my favorites Deborah Cox, love her and then we saw Melissa Ethridge. Our first free concert of Pride this year so far. Love all these free shows and events.
Trying to get out and have a little fun and relax as I know this is one thing Mom would have wanted for me to do.
Tomorrow night we are going to a white party, yes everyone is suppose to wear white, need to find Matt something to wear and hopefully the weather will change and the rain will let up for a day as you never want to get caught in a rain storm in white. Though that could be fun and give me a bit of attention, LOL.
We will probably meet up with Nancy and Wayne at some point this weekend and go out and walk Church Street to see what they have to offer this year and what is new and going on. Also was asked to walk with Olivia Chow in the parade, will have to see how we feel and how hot it is going to be for the weekend! You never know.
Right after Pride Matt leaves for Vancouver for two weeks and goes to see his folks and is going to a friend of ours wedding, glad he is going to see Mom and Dad in Vancouver. They are very important to me and to us.
This also means we will not be together for our anniversary which is alright I guess, as we will have many more to celebrate and be with each other and maybe a couple weeks alone is just what I need right now.
Anyways back to the couch and my relaxing day of watching Wimbledon Tennis. Have a great week and a wonderful day. Thanks for reading and please take care.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Miss Mom
Everyday is so different and I miss Mom so much more everyday, every minute and every waking second, even when I am sleeping I am dreaming I am talking to her ad sharing things about my life and what is going on. It seems to get harder everyday and not easier as I thought it might. I wonder every minute way she is gone and why it happened so quickly, there will always be things I wish I could have said, time I wish I could have spent with her and phone calls I should have made. I just plain miss her and wish she was here for just a bit longer so I could have more time.
Last night was really hard as we found out Mom's best friend of the last two years Kelly Passed away suddenly in her sleep, she was a beautiful woman and one who I had met on several occasions and helped with the process of losing Mom, which was amazing and she was so sweet and caring. I can not believe she is gone and will not be here.
I now miss her too, and am just having a really bad day and missing life and everything which use to be in it. I hate the fact that we have to suffer loss and I really hate it when people say it was gods will or plan, Fuck off! I am not dealing with gods plan or gods will and do not believe for a minute that my mother was near old enough, she was 68, Kelly was in her early 50's, gods will my ass. If there is and was a god he would not want people to even get cancer and suffer as \Mom did.
Anyways not much else to say today , except I miss Mom, and wish she was still here, so much I want to tell her right now.
Mourning!
Last night was really hard as we found out Mom's best friend of the last two years Kelly Passed away suddenly in her sleep, she was a beautiful woman and one who I had met on several occasions and helped with the process of losing Mom, which was amazing and she was so sweet and caring. I can not believe she is gone and will not be here.
I now miss her too, and am just having a really bad day and missing life and everything which use to be in it. I hate the fact that we have to suffer loss and I really hate it when people say it was gods will or plan, Fuck off! I am not dealing with gods plan or gods will and do not believe for a minute that my mother was near old enough, she was 68, Kelly was in her early 50's, gods will my ass. If there is and was a god he would not want people to even get cancer and suffer as \Mom did.
Anyways not much else to say today , except I miss Mom, and wish she was still here, so much I want to tell her right now.
Mourning!
Monday, June 16, 2014
My Mother
My mother , the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure to know passed away from complications with her battle with Cancer on June 1st, 2014.
Since this day I have felt a loss and a total emptiness that no one can ever replace and there is a hole in my life that will never be filled. I miss her so much and go to pick up the phone everyday to see how she is, or chat or tell her something good or what is going on in my life.
To me she was my best friend, we use to go shopping together, I told her everything about my life and what was going on and always talked to her as much as possible.
I found out that her cancer had returned with aggression on March 15th and was so worried but still never expected to lose her this quickly. I was lucky as I flew out to Alberta to surprise her on May 27th and got to spend an amazing 5 days with her and dad. If you could have seen her face when I walked through the door that night, it was priceless and a vision I will hold in my memories for the rest of my life. I also got to be there when she passed away and to be with dad for support and love. These are the best things I have done, just to have her know that I loved her and I truly did.
For those of you who knew Mom, you knew she was feisty and spoke her mind, I am so thankful to have gotten those qualities from her. She was always about her family and that meant more to her than any material item ever could. She loved people and animals equally and those were her favorite and most cherished things in life. Unfortunately her family was not under the same thought. my brother and sisters were not there the last two years and for this I will never forgive them. Ever since Brads death they have not spoken to my Mother or Father or me! they will have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
The saddest thing about all of this is, the Saturday night before Mom passed I had convinced her to phone James and Cheryl and Charlene and let them know that she was ill with cancer again, we never got the chance to phone them.
When I did phone them on the Sunday to let them know Mom had passed away, it suddenly became about them and how Mom had not spoke to them for two years, last I checked they all had phones, but the worst thing was Cheryl and James would not even take time off work to come see dad, or to help with any arrangements or anything. I can not believe I am even related to these people some days.
My greatest support was my Aunt Vera and moms dear friend Kelly. I had so much to do, which included dealing with the coroner that day and then making all arrangements for moms cremation, writing and paying for obituary, packing up the entire house and helping to put everything in storage and also helping to get dad settled with my nephew Kory, who was helpful in moving stuff out of the house, and has been looking after Dad since Moms passing and getting him back and forth to Dialysis 3 days a week.
Mom was a truly loving person and a fabulous mother, always supportive of me and helpful in every way she could. Giving me advice at all points in my life and just calling to say hi. I miss all these things and wish I could get just one more day to tell her how much she meant and do more for her.
Life will go on for me, though I am not sure how somedays, nothing has hit me yet and I am still feeling very numb and just miss her every minute.
She was beautiful and a great lady, and her life was far too short here. She will be missed a great deal and will now be with her son Bradley, her little brother Ron and her parents. I love you Mom and miss you always. Life will never be the same, and will never get better but it will be good and different. Know always you were the most influential person in my life and that I love you so much and always will.
Since this day I have felt a loss and a total emptiness that no one can ever replace and there is a hole in my life that will never be filled. I miss her so much and go to pick up the phone everyday to see how she is, or chat or tell her something good or what is going on in my life.
To me she was my best friend, we use to go shopping together, I told her everything about my life and what was going on and always talked to her as much as possible.
I found out that her cancer had returned with aggression on March 15th and was so worried but still never expected to lose her this quickly. I was lucky as I flew out to Alberta to surprise her on May 27th and got to spend an amazing 5 days with her and dad. If you could have seen her face when I walked through the door that night, it was priceless and a vision I will hold in my memories for the rest of my life. I also got to be there when she passed away and to be with dad for support and love. These are the best things I have done, just to have her know that I loved her and I truly did.
For those of you who knew Mom, you knew she was feisty and spoke her mind, I am so thankful to have gotten those qualities from her. She was always about her family and that meant more to her than any material item ever could. She loved people and animals equally and those were her favorite and most cherished things in life. Unfortunately her family was not under the same thought. my brother and sisters were not there the last two years and for this I will never forgive them. Ever since Brads death they have not spoken to my Mother or Father or me! they will have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
The saddest thing about all of this is, the Saturday night before Mom passed I had convinced her to phone James and Cheryl and Charlene and let them know that she was ill with cancer again, we never got the chance to phone them.
When I did phone them on the Sunday to let them know Mom had passed away, it suddenly became about them and how Mom had not spoke to them for two years, last I checked they all had phones, but the worst thing was Cheryl and James would not even take time off work to come see dad, or to help with any arrangements or anything. I can not believe I am even related to these people some days.
My greatest support was my Aunt Vera and moms dear friend Kelly. I had so much to do, which included dealing with the coroner that day and then making all arrangements for moms cremation, writing and paying for obituary, packing up the entire house and helping to put everything in storage and also helping to get dad settled with my nephew Kory, who was helpful in moving stuff out of the house, and has been looking after Dad since Moms passing and getting him back and forth to Dialysis 3 days a week.
Mom was a truly loving person and a fabulous mother, always supportive of me and helpful in every way she could. Giving me advice at all points in my life and just calling to say hi. I miss all these things and wish I could get just one more day to tell her how much she meant and do more for her.
Life will go on for me, though I am not sure how somedays, nothing has hit me yet and I am still feeling very numb and just miss her every minute.
She was beautiful and a great lady, and her life was far too short here. She will be missed a great deal and will now be with her son Bradley, her little brother Ron and her parents. I love you Mom and miss you always. Life will never be the same, and will never get better but it will be good and different. Know always you were the most influential person in my life and that I love you so much and always will.
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