My trip to Ottawa

Well my drive to Ottawa was a long one and worth it though I did not get into see the Prime Minister. I did get to see all the lovely building and our nations capital and more importantly spread the word of Bill C23 and what it can mean for Canadians. I got to talk to many people including police officers outside of Parliament and other people who I randomly met either at the hotel I stayed in our while I was out walking. The drive was long and took me just over 7 hours to get from our house in Windsor to Ottawa, but I am so thankful I made the trip. I have followed the protocall of what I was told to do by assistants working in Parliament and for our local MPs and Heads of Government. There is a petition out now and I sincerely need everyone to sign this and get things going. Here is the link. https://www.change.org/p/justin-trudeau-stop-bill-c23-preclearence-which-the-liberal-party-of-canada-is-trying-to-put-through We all need to get on board and support this petition and help to amend or stop the passing of Bill C23 into law. I received a call yesterday from our Right Honourable Justin Trudeaus' first assistant and followed what he has asked me to do , which is send an email with a request to sit down with the Prime Minister and discuss my(our) concerns on Bill C23 and also what happened to myself and I am sure others at the USA Border with the Customs and Border Patrol Officers. These men and women already think they are at the top of the food chain and can strip you of your rights and treat you badly for just being you, its bad enough when it happens on United States of America Soil , lets not let this happen on Canadian Soil by these same People. Please sign my petition and help me get this message across to our government and Members of Parliament that we do not want nor need the United States Customs and Border Patrol on Canadian Soil at anytime. I am going to keep fighting this and with your support we can all do something about this Bill! Anyways during my two days and three nights in Ottawa I basically stood out side of Parliament and the House of Commons and talk to people about Bill C23 and it was amazing at how many people have never heard of this or knew nothing about it at all. I spread the word as much as I could and now need you to do the same , through social media, through your work , however you can. This bill will take away your rights on Canadian Soil if it passes, it is one thing to have this done to you while visiting a country like the United States of America, but to have this happen in Canada would be just horrifying. Lets all do our part and spread the word. Thank you again for reading and I will keep you all up to date with my progress on this .

My letter to the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau

RE: Bill C-23 Border Detroit/Windsor Border Crossing Michael Potter 3588 King Street Windsor ON. N9C 1P3 226-246-2410 March 26, 2017 Dear Mr. Prime Minister Right Honourable Justin Trudeau I am writing in regards to my experience on March 24, 2017 at 11:20am at the Tunnel Crossing to Detroit Michigan USA from Windsor, Ontario Canada. I was going across to Detroit as my husband and I sometimes do, usually separate to go shopping and go out to a gay bar or two as we don’t get to do this in Windsor. The reason we go separately is we have pets at home and no pet sitter. On Friday March 24, I went in my usual manner to cross the border and stopped at duty free as I always do on my way down when I intend to spend more than 48 hours in the USA. This time however I was pulled into secondary when I mentioned that I had purchased a box of 25 cuban cigars for my husband, which I know I am allowed, I am always very careful of what I buy and claim everything. I also got a text from my husband Matthew Allsopp and they asked who was texting me. I said my husband. This is why I believe I got pulled into secondary and what followed for the next two plus hours horrified me and made me feel so small and less of a human as all my rights were suddenly torn out from under my feet, for the mere fact that I am gay and nothing else. When I got there I was asked to shut off my vehicle and leave the keys on the dash and all electronics in my vehicle. I did so and proceeded inside where I was told to sign in and wait to be called up to the counter. I was eventually called up to the counter and met with attitude and anger from and CBP Officer. He was demeaning and belittling to me from the word go. I was then told to sit down after he took my passport and wallet from me. This went on for about 45 minutes , being called up periodically to answer a question about who Matt was, why did I have a Detroit contact in my phone and where is Olds? I answered everyone of their questions and was then told to sit down again , at around 12:30 I was asked to come into the back room with two officers and I thought ok, they are going to give me my documents and send me on my way, I was wrong! What happened to me next is something I had only seen on television! I was taken into a cell with two officers, asked to remove my belt, my jacket, and shoes, undo my pants , pull my front pockets out completely and stand against a wall with my legs spread and my hand above my head flat against the wall. While one officer frisked and touched every part of my body and the other went through all my pockets and shoes and belt, while being constantly reminded not to move or let my hands move away from the wall. Then I was escorted back out to the main room while the officers outside which I was unaware of were going through my entire vehicle, including my suitcase which was dumped on my back seat, my man bag which was emptied onto my front seat, my glove box and my center console including my pack of cigarettes and ashtray. I had to sit there for another hour being called up occasionally to be asked another series of questions , like who are you meeting and who is Matt and why do you have a contact in your phone from Detroit, what is this website and why are you on it? Shortly after 2 they called me up again after all that I had been through and took me again into the back room, not a cell this time but still intimidating and with three officers now asking me questions, then they told me to go and sit out front again, shortly thereafter they called me up and said they were withdrawing my application to enter the USA. I told the guard that I felt I had been profiled for being gay and he said to me well if you would like to wait another hour you can bring up your concerns with a supervisor. I kindly said no thank you. I was then escorted out of the building and to my vehicle which was a complete and dishevelled mess at this point as the officers did not put anything back or close the front hood, console or glove box when they were done. The officer then walked beside my vehicle to the crossing to make sure I left back through the tunnel to Canada. This whole experience was just demeaning and horrible and then I come home , my nerves shot and I am reading about your bill C23 Borders which would allow US CBP Officers to single minorities such as myself out again and on Canadian Soil. This is wrong and I would like to meet with you or a representative of yours to not only discuss my mistreatment at the border but this proposed bill that is in front of us all. I have read this bill and my husband Matthew Allsopp and I have also both watched all the media reports we can find on BILL C23 Border and also seen your interview and opinion on this, which we happen to strongly disagree with in every way. I do not feel safe with The United States CPB having the same powers on Canadian Soil as they do on United States Soil. I will start a petition and bring this to Ottawa as well if need be. Please reconsider your stance on this Bill. My husband Matthew Allsopp has also sent an email regarding this bill to our Local MP who has not responded in over two weeks. I will be sending a copy of this letter to CTV Toronto, CBC Windsor and Toronto and also OUT TV so they know what can happen to a gay man trying to enter the United States of America and that you are willing to allow this to happen on Canadian Soil to a Canadian. To have our rights torn out from under us, you will only truly know how it feels when it happens to you.7 To be clear I have always been a lawbiding citizen and never touched so much as a marijuana cigarette in my life, I drive under the speed limit and always obey the law 110%. In closing I have voted Liberal since I was 18, I vote in every election and I think you are a great leader for our country and exactly what we need. I am a 46 year old gay male who is happily married and love my country and have always thought very highly and protected here until this happened to me and these USA CPB officers went through my phone, my tablet, my car and quite honestly personally violated my body and any rights I had were then taken away. Please Your Right Honourable Justin Trudeau/ Mr. Prime Minister reconsider this bill, you are only going to take away more rights of people all across Canada and on our own soil! This is not right and not a Canadian thing to even consider. I will drive up to Ottawa this week to meet with you or a representative if you agree to it. Please let me know so I can book my hotel and arrange this. I look forward to speaking with you more Thank you so Much. Michael Potter

The United States Border Guards

So here is a total account of what happened to me on Friday morning till early afternoon as I tried to go to Detroit Michigan to go shopping and hit the gay bars in the evening for a little fun.
I left the house here in Windsor around 11am, and went to the duty free shop, bought some vodka and a box of 25 Cuban cigars for my husband.
Matt and I had been texting back and forth and he made a joke in one text how he could see the jeep at duty free, that text will come back to haunt me later.
I got through the tunnel rather quick and the line up was short at the border, in fact only three cars in front of me, when I got to the crossing, this woman was working and quite a tiny pretty little thing, or at least I thought so, didn't realize she was a power tripping bitch with a vendetta.
She asked if I was bringing anything and as she did this my phone went off and I went to shut it off but it played over the radio and she heard Matt. She then said who is that, I said my husband and she then asked if I was bringing anything across today so I told her what I bought at duty free, a bottle of vodka and a box of cigars for my husband.
She then stickered my car and told me I had to go to secondary supposedly because the cigars were Cuban. Weird!
I pulled up to secondary and the guard asked why I was there, I told him, because I bought a box of cigars at duty free, he looked at me and said that's weird you're allowed 50 cigars. I thought it to be strange as well.
So it is now about 11:30 am and I was told shut off my car, leave all electronics inside and leave the keys on the dash. I was cooperative and did so and proceeded inside. I signed in and the Border guard called me up within seconds, I thought great, I will pay tax or whatever on the cigars and be on my way.
Immediately he yelled at me as I explained to him and said I bought cigars for my husband to take back home with me and I thought I was allowed to do so, he said that they had to check because they are Cuban cigars and this is all new to him and I may have to pay tax because they were purchased at duty free. He was very demeaning and rude.
He would call me up and ask a question and then tell me to go and sit in my chair, then call me up again and ask more questions and then tell me to go back to my chair, this went on for over an hour.
Then he and another guard asked me to follow them, I thought okay, this is all done, boy was I wrong.
They took me into the back area and put me in a cell , had me take off my jacket, my shoes and belt, undo my jeans and open them up , lift my tshirt and stand against a wall with my hands against it and my legs spread, telling me to make sure I do not move at all. While one of them frisked me , looking for god knows what the other went through every pocket, and my wallet, pulling everything out and inside out.
They frisked and grabbed every inch of my body, took note of my tattoos and touched every part of me from in between my toes to my crotch, ass and armpits. It was so invasive and degrading in every way. When they were done they told me to get dressed. They escorted me back out to the front area where I was told to sit in my chair again.
As I was going through all  this inside ,I was totally unaware of what they were doing outside in my jeep, they went through the glove box, the center console, dumped my manbag  and empitied it onto the front seat, went through my cellphone and tablet and invaded my privacy completely. Dumped my overnight bag onto the bag seat, went through my pill bottles, my cigarette package, even my ashtray.
I was inside and didn't even know this was happening. I guess Matt had texted me a couple more times while this went on, well then the questions started about who is Matt and who is this person and who is that and are you meeting anyone , what is your real point to visit the USA.
I was confused and nervous now and didn't know what to say anymore at this point, I answered truthfully and told them Matt is my husband and yes I have friends in Detroit who I have talked to and text to see about the gay bars and which was going to be the best suited for me to go to. I never knew any of this was a crime.
Here I am being drilled for information and I had nothing to give. They told me to go and sit down  again, so |I complied and did so, ten minutes later I am now following three guards to the back area again and am confused, all three of them asking the same question in a private area which I had just answered out front.
I told the guard that I think I am being profiled because I am gay, he said I can assure you this is not the case. After I said this they took me back out front again and told me to sit down. They called me back up about 15 minutes later and said they were withdrawing my application to enter the USA.
Then they fingerprinted me, took my picture and a copy of my licence and passport which I hadny seen in the two hours I was there.
I said fine, and the officer walked out and said he would release my id and wallet to me once I was turned around. I had to go out to my jeep, threw my clothes back in the suitcase quickly, put everything back in my man bag and close the hood and back door up on the jeep. Followed the border officer and when I got to the toll gate he put and white paper under my windshield wiper and gave me back my wallet and passport and said that now I can leave.
It was so  humiliating as I driving back through the tunnel to Canada I was crying, I got to the Canadian side and the guard was so nice, he could not understand why I was pulled in, asked me to go to secondary quickly and give them the piece of paper off my window, I never even got to see what this said.
They let me go and the Canadian  Border Patrol said they were so sorry for what happened to me .
Let me just say this in Closing, in the over 2 hours I was in the USA secondary, not once did I see anyone who wasn't black or brown with the exception of my self and 6 Asian people. It was so demeaning to see this and feel like a target just because of my sexual preference.
These guards intimidated me, invaded my life and my privacy , all for nothing.
The UNITED STATES sucks and is a horrible place with a dictator in charge. Matthew and I travel quite a bit and I have never been treated so badly as I was by the USA.
I HAVE VOWED TO NEVER STEP FOOT IN THAT HELL HOLE AGAIN AND I WILL KEEP THIS AS MY WORD.
The Republican Party is nothing more than a dictatorship trying to hide in a so called democracy. I do not feel what happened to me was fair in anyway and if you are going to go through someones personal belonging, clothes and vehicle , they should be able to be present and see what the hell you are doing.
Well I know this is longwinded but that's the whole story.

Make America white and straight again, Trump Land

Well if you think Trump is great or doing great things for the United States,  then you must be white and straight or just out right fucking stupid! His laws are ridiculous, his rule is a joke and anyone who supports this man in anyway is not a friend of mine, this is not a political difference in the least. He is a dictator,  an ass of the highest proportion and just an out right dick head.
If you voted for him or support him as a ruler, yes I said ruler, not president , as he is not presidential in the least.  Then please do not consider me a friend. I stand for minorities and for the lesser man who he has now discriminated against. He started with the Muslims,  he is now moving on to the blacks and the gays , and Mexicans.
As for our Prime Minister, Justin is a wonderful man, but grow some balls and stand up to this ass hole,  we are our own country not another state and we need a PM who will act as though this is so.
I have voted liberal my whole life since I was 18 and have always done so with pride as I new they would protect my tights as a person, as a minority and as gay. But if he does not take a stand as to what is happening across the border then we have lost.
Our borders are not safe and people are being treated unfairly when crossing into the states. Our rights are stripped and now that ass Trump wants to put a border tax on all things coming into United States from canada or anywhere else.
We need to do the same to them, as for me I have deactivated my Facebook,  as it is United States owned, not watching my favorite shows anymore as they are all American and have not turned on the TV in 24 hours. I will not sell out so those asses can make money off of me.
Anything I where had better say made in Italy, Taiwan,  China,  Japan,  hell anything but made in America.  At least then I will know it was actually made properly and will be great.
As for travelling to the states or through them for even a stop over, this will not happen for me as long as there is any sort of Republican power in government. United States citizens need to wake the hell up and take a look at what their supreme leaders are doing your their country, their rights,  because soon, you want have any.
And we in canada need to take a stand and not go there, not give that hell hole our money, we need to support our own country and our own businesses and if you want a nice beach vacation go anywhere but the USA.
Cuba, Dominican Republic,  Barbados,  anywhere has nicer beaches and nicer people too. It will probably cost you less as well.
We also need our government to take the same stand at our borders against United States citizens as they do against us. Tit for tat. An eye for an eye.
Let's make Canada greater and tax the shit out of United States citizens.  Let's do you them what they do you us. Let's degrade them and make them feel as though they are less of people!
In fact we should not let them cross our border at all, especially the wealthy and middle class straight white people.
Those gun toting back woods inbred ignorant Trump supporters. In fact , maybe that should be a question if you want to come visit Canada,  who did you vote for, or who is the CanadianPrime minister!
At least know something about us, your shit country news is shoved down our throats daily.
That's my rant for now. Look for more later.

My thoughts on Windsor Gay Community

Well here goes the bitter truth from my point of view.
The gay community here in Windsor is a very divided one, with some gay men that never go out and if they do, it is totally not to the only gay bar or so called gay bar in Windsor. They stay at home and never support the bar and now I understand why.
To be a part of the gay  Bar, you must be a self indulged, sometime coke snorting idiot, I do not and have not ever done drugs, but am sure the back of the toilet in the ladies room there gets used more for snorting coke that it has ever been used as a washroom.
The other half of the gay community are just snobs in my opinion and will be friendly but never want to be friends, to me that is like putting your hand out to shake another but then withdrawing it quickly.
After years of working and managing gay bars and other bars all over the country I have never experienced such an intolerance for people who share one common thing, being a minority. They have segregated myself to never want to associate with 98% of the gay people here.
There is no interaction and no friendliness at all amongst most of the gay community here unless you can get into their circle of friends at some point and some how.
I am actually not interested in trying to break through barriers to meet new friends and have people in my life who are not there for the long haul and are only interested in their own and their circles self centered little narrow minded lives.
I have often thought of opening a gay bar here and am now of the believe that this would be a horrible investment as the gays here do not support their own and they also do not appreciate anything or anyone who tries to do anything for the community. It is no wonder all the bars over the last 15 years have closed and or been closed down.
Also PRIDE here is a complete joke, I would say to the city, cancel it, People do not support it and the parade had more people in it then watching it, what a complete joke.
Now the drag queens here are a whole nother matter, if you can call them that, they are just horrible and I am sorry but daisy dukes and coconut shell tops are not a drag outfit you can pull off for the entire pride weekend.
So the bar here is an upstairs run down space with no doors on the fridge, a cash register with from the late 80s, no draft beer and lately no fountain pop, so at the end of my last visit they had run out of sprite, this is ridiculous, they are a bar.
The floors are uneven and the stairs are steep, I am waiting till one of the over served customers falls down them on the way home.
The only saving grace of this place is the staff and that's it, The owner doesn't care at all and wont even hang a pride flag in his establishment. Where are we 1970?
I for one will never return to this spot, though my options are limited here so I think if I want to go to a gay bar , I will have to cross the border and hit up Detroit for a night. Or when we have a trip planned to Toronto , I will just have to make the best of it.
These are just my opinions and observations over the last 1 and a half years, since we have moved here

Can we just be done with the dreaded C

Over the last few years there has never been a word I have heard so much or feared everytime I heard it spoken by anyone.
We have all been affected by it and I am sure we all dread it the same ways as our friends neighbors and enemies alike.
It really struck home to me in 2010 when Matthew and I lived in Vancouver and my mother called me in April of that year to tell me she had cancer and had to go into University Hospital in Edmonton immediately. Well with the help of Matts parents I was on a flight and in Calgary that afternoon and driving Mom to Edmonton the next morning and staying there for over three weeks to support her and be there with her through her surgery and appointments, at the hospital everyday from 7am to 10pm or later, and I am glad I did this for her and for me.
They ended up removing her tumor and she lost her sight in her one eye due to the surgery and position of the tumor, over the next few months she went through six months of extensive chemo and then through another 12 weeks of radiation after the chemo was done. Matt and I went out during the radiation  and again spent another 2 weeks with her in a motel in Edmonton. So glad we both did this and that we were there for her.
Since this time we have lost many friends due to Cancer and seen it affect almost everyone we have known and been friends with over the years and through are moves.
My mother passed away from Cancer in June of 2014, followed not to long after by Matts mom in November of 2014 from Cancer and then my father from Cancer in April 2016 and Matts father in September of 2016.
We have seen friends and friends of friends pass away after a short or long battle with Cancer and we have seen others beat it and move on with their lives, though they never forget and always live with the fear that at any point they are at risk for it to emerge its ugly head in their lives again.
To all of you fighting cancer or their to support someone during their fight and for all who have lost someone to the battle, let it be known you are not alone and never will be. This is one disease that bonds us together whether we like it or not.
Love and support to friends going through this right now and to friends who have been through this in the past.
I really want to just stop hearing the word unless they come out and say , we have found a cure!

Barbados my thoughts part 2

Now the best part of our vacation was all of the other tourists we met and got to know over the last seven days, some were really quite lovely, we got to spend a lovely time with a couple from England and they will now be forever friends. Second best thing was meeting Aunt Jeanette and finally getting to know her, lovely woman indeed. The last part was the beach and the sun, ocean, which can make a fussy old particular ass like myself smile most days.
The island is filled with natural beauty,  the beaches of white sand and the weather are all remarkable, however the Bajon people for the most part do not reflect any of this. 75% of the local residents we saw never smiled and seemed very unhappy, for a country that relies on tourism, this is not a good thing.
Now let's get to the airport, I have never experienced rude security as I have here, they make everyone take off their shoes, I had a small pair of flip flops on , seriously you need me to walk barefoot. Unacceptable and totally unhygienic. Then they do not have a sign as Cuba does that they do not allow lighters, so the security woman was just rude and basically ripping through my bag to find a lighter, and not nice about it at all!
I have only experienced the no lighter thing in Cuba and in Barbados, put up a sign so I can put my lighter in my checked baggage. Also put up a sign about taking off shoes so at least people can wear socks,  this is a total health hazzard!!!
Yes I would begrudgingly go back to Barbados,  but not to our resort, the Barbados Beach Club,  I would go somewhere else, this resort was isolated and ran down, with one bar on the entire resort and broken bar stools all around it, well it actually only had 5. The restaurants on property were also old and badly set up for any sort of flow at all. The lobby even though it was open air was dark and depressing. The rooms were nice but old and dated.
If you advertise free WiFi,  please make sure it works, most days the only area of the hotel it worked in was the lobby, unacceptable!
The beach chaises were old and some actually had mold on them, not a great first impression of any resort. Also having to ask for an umbrella all the time on the beach and none available by the pool, set these up and let guests decide if they want to use them.
The bar was also understaffed most days with one bartender who had trouble mixing a vodka sprite on most occasions. I would give this resort a 3 out of 10. And that is being generous.
The entertainment was horrible except for one night with a steel drum band, the rest was just horrible. And on Friday night,  there is no entertainment as they expect everyone to go off to Oistens for a fish fry which is overpriced and Overrated!
Well that is my review on Barbados Beach Club Resort and on Barbados!

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Barbados, my thoughts

Well first off let me say this about Barbados, they have great beaches! As for 98% of the Bajon  people, well you can keep them, they don't know how to smile or what service of any kind is.
The food was adequate at best answer as far as I know, the drinks were actually alcohol, though I am sure at the resort we were at, a bit watered down! Also this is not a bargain vacation by any means at all!!!!
If you do go to Barbados,  check your resort carefully before booking and know this, there is no smoking anywhere that's covered by a roof,  watch your room and make sure you are getting what you paid for. When leaving Barbados,  make sure to wear socks as they make you take off your footwear, and pack your lighter in your stowed luggage! If it's in the carryon, they are total bitches about it and will not hesitate to just dump your bag to get at it!
It is a beautiful island with a very unfriendly people which is horrifying considering their main economic resource is tourism. Shocked was I when I couldn't even get a good morning or how are you today from any of the staff!
Being in the hospitality industry for too many years, I have never understood how people can bartender, serve tables, work front desk and most of all be a fucking manager if you can not smile or even acknowledge your guests. This to me was frustrating.
Now let's move onto the food, if you don't care what it tastes like or looks like and think all soup should be puree,  you'll be happy.  On the other hand if have tastebuds and sight left you may yankering for something better. We had I would say 3 good meals out of the 21 served at the resort. That's a pretty bad average. I had to add salt to everything and most everything was deep fried.  It was rarely warm let alone hot.
We stayed at a resort called Barbados Beach Club, it was very dated and slightly run down.  The rooms were the only good part to the hotel. Very well kept and we were one of the lucky ones, we had hot water!
It has only one bar and the bartenders all had one speed, reverse. The restaurants on property were also only one for buffet which is every meal and tea time , so you are there 4 times a day , 7 day a week and hope your not staying longer than seven day because you will know exactly what you are abour to eat each and every day there after. I can not imagine staying any longer than the seven days we were there.
As for the island , it is beautiful and seems to still be surviving, though not thriving at all. There are many buildings, businesses and homes for sale.  This is never a good sign of any country. But again I would have to say I blame this on society and the Bajon people! Tourists from around the world will only put up with shifty service and average food for a limited time. If you are going to keep charging the outlandish prices , combined with the good and the service, eventually it is going to slow down even more, and poverty will become more common.
You can go to Cuba or DominicanRepublic for a half of the cost and receive better service by people who are so happy to see you and even happier that you are there to enjoy and share their country and to support their tourism. Aldo the good in these two countries is at or above par to the Barbados.  Everything is so damn bland!!!!!
Now let's go to last night's ala cart meal, which is available 3 nights a week, not too bad up there but here's the kicker.  We had Matthew's Aunt over to the resort last night for dinner and were absolutely sticker shocked this morning when we got our bill for that.
It cost us a total of 77.15 in US dollars(153. BBD) just for her meal. Let me give you a break down of what they charged; 1/3 bowl of French onion soup  (Luke Warm) and definitely not a full bowl was $18BBD, melon salad (4 small peices of melon) was $19BBD, Pork cutlet with mashed potato, not a large serving was $62 BBD, Peice of cake $12BBD, a glass of red wine $ 9BBD, AND FINALLY THE REAL PISSER,  just for her coming on the resort $23.35BBD. THEN ALL OF THAT HAD TAX!!!!!!!

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Wow it's been a while

First let me say it has been forever since I have written here and I truly missed it at times. I honestly got into a real funk after mom passed away and just didn't want to share, talk or write at all.
So let me catch you up to speed a little.
October 14, 2015 , Matthew and I moved to Windsor Ontario from Toronto and we hadon't bought a house here and totally renovated it.it was not an easy nor fast transition for either of us from Toronto to Windsor.
On October 23rd of 2015 we lost our beloved Storm due to cancer. One of the hardest days for me and for Matt , I am sure. I still miss her everyday.
We had many struggles over the last couple years. Which we have worked hard together to overcome and accomplished that as a couple.
In April of 2016, we finally moved into our house after six long months of not living there and doing Renovations,  including a basement dig out and entire gut of the entire house down to the studs. Talk about stressful.
On April 18th 2016,  we got the call my father had passed away from cancer after a very short battle.
This was hard but also somewhat of closure as it meant I truly had no immediate family left. I now only have some cousins and stuff in my life.
The summer here was lovely and filled with gardening and landscaping and redoing and renovating another property.
Finished that in late August.  On Sept 3rd of 2016 we were shocked to get the call that Matthew's father had suddenly passed away. Another sad year first us to both lose our fathers,  as only two short years earlier we both lost our mom's.  Sometime life just socks it to you.
On August 23, we lost our gorgeous black cat and baby girl Nadja from  cancer and we're both devastated. This is when I realized who some of my true friends were and who wasn't.  Steve and Sheila who we had met on vacation in Cuba, we're soon to be out of our lives.
Noone will ever tell me it was just a cat or just a dog. If you do, I will say to you it was just time to move on.
Anyhow with all lives little twists and turns,  we are in Windsor,  a bit busy but I will do my best to write here every chance I can. Hugs and good night.  Off to finish watching my Australian open Tennis.  I should be in bed.

A Story from Years Ago

I remember years ago and School and how it was not so great for me but there are several times that stand out more than anyone will ever know.
One of the worst and most painful times for me was in Grade eight or nine gym class I believe it was. Please don't quote me on the grade, I am getting older you know.
We were outside for Physed class and playing tag team football.
For me , let me just make this perfectly clear being a young gay person in a small twon and also being a scronny little man , I was never comfortable with gym class and let me make this clear, I never showered nor did I ever change at school, if it was a gym day that's what I wore to school or I would skip that class.
Anyhow, back to the tag team football, I participated this day and was so not happy to have to play a touch sport with my fellow male classmates though I did try.
We were playing football and I remember trying to tag a class mate Brad Urichuck and I guess I missed the tag and slapped his back or ass or something and all of a sudden you would have sworn I had committed a murder, Brad and Jeff Simpson were yelling at me and calling me a fag and a girl and saying I only slap cause I am gay, this went on for a few minutes.
I eventually left that day while still in gym class and just went home. what was I suppose to do, I have all these boys who I thought we my friends calling me fairy, fag, gay, hell I didn't even know what those words were.
I just went home and hid in my bedroom and cried for hours. I don't think I was ever so sad or scared in my life and I just hated myself instead of being ashamed of them for meaking fun of me for trying and for doing my best, I was ashamed of me. Well that doesn't happen anymore!
It was one of the last gym classes I ever attended as I got mom to come to the doctor with me and he wrote some sort of  note to get me out until the end of the year.
Boys were so mean to me and so were some girls, I have forgiven but never forgotten the bullying I lived with and am sure I never will. People need to learn the most hurtful things in life are mean words and things we say.
I never went to back to school after the first semester of grade ten and got my high school diploma through correspondence courses and exams and GED exams , but I did it without all the  ridicule and name calling that I tolerated for years.

Spring Flu and trips on transit

Well it is official Matt and I are both down with the flu. I got sick on Thursday and Matt wasn't far behind on Saturday. I am just starting to recover and get better where as Matt is really down for the count.
It seems that every April I get some kind of cold and then Matt slowly follows and he seems to be sicker every year than I am and is very needy, which is fine. This year he is really coughing and sneezing and not sleeping too well.
He worries me so much when he gets sick with anything as I hate watching him suffer at all. Ever since he got back from Vancouver and ended up in the hospital for a couple days I guess I just worry about him a lot. Love my hubby.
Today I picked him up lots of medicine and neo citron and have him drugged up in bed at the moment. He has been awake every night at around 3am so he doesn't wake me up, such a considerate and loving man. I don't mind looking after him at all when he is down for the count.

In other news today I took a long bus trip to Scarborough to Lowes, I love Lowes, hat Home Depot, Love Lowes, did I mention I love Lowes. The customer service and selection and the prices are so much better then that icky Home Depot who treat people like shit and just expect you to know where the hell everything is.
Well I went there to get spray paint for the new cast iron furniture, got a really cool teal blue and as soon as it stops raining I can get it done.
I also had to pick up the last of our fence posts for the front fence. Maybe next week when it is all clear and the weather is good here in Toronto again we can get the last of that in and finish up our great little yard.
Life is good. Also picked up a few herbs today for the garden and getting ready to plant them as soon as it is warm enough. Looking forward to gardening season. And to the warm weather.
Well I will see you all soon, have a happy day and a great week.

Spring Seriously

Well after a long and very cold disgusting winter, Spring seems to have arrived, well at least somedays it feels like it. Others just suck and are cold, but we will get through this again and then summer will be here and I can get my tan on.
The last week has been spent by redoing the front side walk, creating a seating area in the back corner of our yard and digging up the garden for the first time, I do this three times every year before I plant a damn thing.
I have also got all my planters ready for herbs and flowers . Been a busy little boy. Can't wait for the hot weather to hit us here soon. Been a bit windy the last couple days but that is okay, I can deal with a bit of wind as long as we get a really nice and hot summer.
We have also been putting in the front fence, cute little iron fence all around our front yard to make it look lovely and keep all the neighborhood dogs from shitting on my flowers this year and keep our dogs in the yard when we are having martinis on the lanai.
This past week has been both happy and sad in many ways, Sad that we have seen so much death again in one week with the loss of Linda Sawatsky last Saturday, Tamara's mother, who will be dearly missed. Also our neighbor and friend Theresa Nixon who lost her battle with cancer on Wednesday and our friend Michel in Quebec who lost his mother on Tuesday. All I can say is I know what you are going through every day.
The week has been happy though as we have been doing a little bit here and there, we got to see Matt's father on Tuesday for the day and had a great visit with him, on his way through Toronto just back from Barbados and Guyana, on his way home to Vancouver. Also a happy week as both our teams are in the playoffs for now, Matt is cheering Vancouver and I am cheering Calgary, mostly for Mom as she loved it and the best thing is, Tennis has been on most everyday, so much better than hockey, sorry, just more interesting to me!
The neighborhood has also brought us many pregnant women, so it must have been a cold one this winter, we will be getting three new rugrats on this side of the street alone, all we need, so we are figuring out how long before all these kids turn into teenagers and then it will be time to sell and get the hell out of dodge. I don't mind them when they are under ten, after that until they are twenty one, I would really rather not be around.
Teenagers are way too loud and obnoxious now a days. That is all!
So not much else to say at the moment, our thoughts go out to all. have a great week and I am going to try and get back into writing here more often.
Thanks for reading, Bye for now

Thank you

In my life I have been put through hell and taken a lot shit from a lot of people over the years and still I am here, fighting and trying to be strong and the best I can be. I thank all you who made me who I am today and instead of blaming all the bad things in my life I am thankful for them as they made me a much stronger person.
Throughout school I was picked on , called many derogative names and basically ostrasized for being a little different. I am who I am and have always been. During this time I thank all the wonderful people who stood by me and stood up for me, for these are my true friends and have always been there for me, especially my mother. You are wonderful and know who you are as well.
This carried on through most of my earlier working days as well and I managed to build a great career from this and became one of the youngest General Managers by taking my anger and challenging those who picked on me and made me feel worthless and fought my way to the top to become one of the youngest General Managers in a large hotel. It gave me drive and determination to strive ahead, not to give up! And in turn it pissed a lot of people off because they didn't win and didn't get rid of me, Ha, ha. I have managed to take the negative and turn it positive and overcome this in my teens and early 20s.
I have struggled and been in both mentally and physically abusive relationships after I came out at the age of 26. I have been mugged, gay bashed(3 times) and raped. All these things made me very non trusting and judgemental person throughout my life. I have chose carefully who is in my life and valued those who I greatly appreciate. I have lost family and people I love, some just choose not to be a part of my life because of my lifestyle and others have passed away far too soon. I have had health issues, lived on the street for a couple weeks and also lived in everything from a hotel, to a rooming house to a gorgeous condo and a 6 bedroom house. Suffered my losses and had trials like everyone else in the world.
One of my greatest supporters and the person who convinced me to come out was a great woman, and one of my best friends and roommates at the time, Lori Sinclair. I owe her so much and her and I were so close for so many years with a very loving and turbulent friendship. I miss her everyday. her convincing me to be who I was and to tell people the truth grew many relationships and made others stagnant for a time. Lori and I lived in Edmonton at this time, with her then partner Jonathon.
 The thing I am saying in the end I guess is that I have had all these things happen, planned and otherwise, these things help to make you the person you are and make you appreciate what you have and use it to your fullest.
 I am who I am and I love the person I am , think of me as a bitchy, jaded or whatever you wish, I think of me as a very happy and strong man.

Letter to Air Transat Noli Tours

January 31, 2015

Air Transat/Noli Tours

Re: Hotel Villa Tortuga

Varadero, Cuba

and Air Transat Flights TS750 and TS751

Booking #15248655

I am writing you to let you know what my husband and I experienced at one of your resorts on our recent vacation to Villa Tortuga,Varadero, Cuba from January 17^th to January 24^th of 2015. Our flight (TS750) was late which I understand but on the flight the service was less than par and worse than anything we have ever experienced, my husband at one point had asked for a Corona, the response given was I don't have any, not checking or anything, asking another flight attendant, all of a sudden there was a corona.

Let me start by saying this was suppose to be a seven day all inclusive vacation and with the late arrival we did not get to the resort until early Sunday morning January 18^th. As we arrived at the resort with approximately 25 other persons we were met by only one over worked front desk agent who dealt with a long line of check ins. We were assigned a room that was adequate at best, light fixture above the tv was broken and one light in the washroom was burnt out our entire stay, despite asking it to be changed three times. Closet doors that did not open and fell off the tracks every time we tried to open or close them. Also no bottle of water in the room which we had to ask for and never received, we purchased our own at the resort store!

Our room number was 2107 and kept clean but the smell from the petroleum plant in our room caused a headache daily which did not help when dealing with some of the nasty staff at the resort.

The second of our experiences was with the 24 hour lobby bar and its bartender who was at best the worst experience of our entire vacation. Frank was his name and the first night we arrived he was busy but the man would hardly wait on anyone and stood there half the time with his arms crossed and making people wait, at one point and time he actually just left the bar for about 20 minutes. We got to meet Frank again on the Wednesday January 21^st of our vacation and we were meeting another couple for drinks before dinner, the bar was empty, I stood in line behind a young lady and there was another gentleman that walked up to the bar. The bartender Frank went to wait on the gentleman first, I told him no, the lady was here first and then me and then the other gentleman, who agreed with me. Frank the bartender then crossed his arms and would not wait on any of us. I went to the front desk and asked to speak with a manager of Villa Totuga resort and filed a complaint about Frank the bartender, while doing so, he stood at the bar, arms crossed and making everyone wait, and then as I faced the bar and the manager back to the bar, frank proceeded to give me the finger. This was totally unacceptable to me and saw by others and quite frankly put a huge damper on the rest of our vacation. I had to go and complain again the next morning to our hotel rep, Kenia, who was amazing. We received a letter and a dinner from the ala cart restaurant which we were entitled to begin with and this was there answer and as we called it, at least it was a gesture! I feel so much more could have been done to resolve this matter.

The resort was very clean and for the most part as advertised, except there is not 2 ala cart restaurants and not 4 restaurants at all. There is a buffet restaurant and one ala cart restaurant which alternates its food between Italian and international on different nights. The snack bar was not really snacks and pretty bad, closed during meal times and ran out of the sandwiches they served on half the days we were there.

Nothing in this resort resembled the pictures shown except for the pool, certain bars were never open when supposed to be and the food was very repetitive and at best warm on the buffet. The steam table rarely worked or seemed to and service in both restaurants was far below good. Most days and nights tables were not set that we sat at and drinks took forever to get at dinner and lunch.

The beach chairs were not often available and when they were they were often broken and not useable at all. Toilet paper was a luxury if you could find it all in any of the public washrooms, most days we had to go back to the room to use the washroom at least we knew that washroom was clean, public ones were rarely cleaned at all.

I feel the service at the resort was mediocre at best, with staff just there to do a job and expecting tips for nothing at all, we tip when deserved and tip well. On our last day there Saturday January 24^th we had to check out of our room at 12 noon and did not catch our bus to the airport until 6pm. According to my calculations we paid for a seven excursion with your company and did not check into our room at the resort until early January 18^th and should have been allowed to stay in our room until our departure at least.

To end our vacation with Air Transat our flight was late by two hours departing Varadero to Toronto(flight TS751). There was no explanation as to why ever! At least the flight crew on the way home were accommodating and helpful.

All and all I have to say my first experience with Air Transat was not good at all and I would not recommend your company to anyone. I have also added this to my facebook and my personal blog and talked to friends of ours who work within the media about your services and your resorts which are so falsely advertised. I do believe that a good 90% of the persons on our bus also complained at the hotel resort and their services. I will also be forwarding a copy of this to Consumer and Cooperate Affairs for the false advertising of the resort we visited. We will never use Air transat again.

Thank you

 

A short year ago

It seems like yesterday and the memories are still so fresh and beautiful. It was a year ago today that I went out to visit Mom and Dad and surprise Mom for her birthday. She was so happy and glad to see me and we had such a great week. We went shopping and we got her picture taken with Santa and her, dad and I went to Sandys Restaurant for Chinese Food Buffet. The smile on moms face was priceless and the way she ate that night was amazing. I never would have thought that 6 months after I left that day she would be gone.
I will always remember going shopping with her and the both of us trying every tape measure in Canadian Tire trying to find the perfect one for Matt for Christmas, Then going to different thrift stores and just looking at different things and seeing what treasures we could find. It was always our thing to go to thrift stores together and check out every thing in the store, from Christmas angels to glasses that neither of us really needed but always wanted to have.
Today I sit here and I cry all day alone realizing all I want to do is call her and talk to her and be with her and just comfort her. I miss my mom so much that it just hurts.
It was March 15th when Mom was diagnosed with Cancer again and by the time I got there May 27th to see her, she was so weak and had lost so much weight and was basically just laying on the couch. Even though that was my final week with her, it was still one of the best weeks of my life because I got to spend it with her. I miss her everyday and wish she had more time and was still here. I will never forget finding her that morning and never forget the week that followed, but for now I will always remember that last great time we had together on her birthday last year. To my Mom I wish you a happy birthday on November 29th. She would have been 69 this year, so young and so fabulous, I had the best Mom and I loved her more than anything and anyone in the world. You are a wonderful lady and please know I will miss you and cherish every moment we had together for the rest of my life.

Our Mothers

On June 1st of this year I lost my Mom to Cancer, It was one of the hardest and worse things I have ever gone through and I realized at that moment the most important person in the world to me was gone and I could no longer just call on her and talk to her everyday. On November 6th my husband Matt lost his wonderful Mom to Cancer and I was there with him and his dad and cousin Gilly on the day she passed away. It again was a horrible and sad day for the both of us and on this day Matt and I learned we now have to count on each other even more than before.
Our mothers were very similar, both very strong and wonderful supportive women, who loved and gave their everything until the end, both married and stayed with the man they loved for a very long time, my parents just past 52 years married and Matts just shy of 55 years married.
Both of our Moms were the most important people in our lives. They were both nurturing and loving to the end and stood by us. My husband and I both suffer the same pain as many of my friends do, losing your mother I think is the worst and hardest thing ever.
Matts Mom was a very strong and extremely intelligent and beautiful woman, she loved Matt until the end, and he loved her, spending his nights with her in Hospice, only leaving to go home and have a quick shower. He stood by her until the end and spent every waking moment to be with his Mom the last few months. Matt definitely got his Moms strength and integrity.
Our mothers both believed in god and prayed and loved us until the end. They were both proud of their gay sons and supported us in every way possible. Matt and I sit here now and discuss how similar our parents are in many ways. Our Mothers and our fathers. Now we both look after an ailing father and deal with our grieve for our wonderful moms. To Vera Megan Allsopp, thank you for bringing up a wonderful young man for me to marry and love. I could not have asked for a better mother in law, and to Mom I am so proud to have had you as my mother, I miss you both every day and love both of you. Now you can both finally meet.

I wonder

I sit here and think many days about many things now that mom is gone and I wonder if you believe in God and in Heaven as my mother did, do you go to heaven, do you get to be reunited with the people you lost before you. I have to ask because for me I don't know what I believe for those who do believe , do they get what they believed in and do they go to the god they prayed to?
These are all things I am wondering about, is my mother with Brad and my Uncle Ron, and my grandparents, does she get to see her best friend again?
I am not sure what I believe and I definitely do not believe in religion but I do believe in a higher power whether that is god or whatever or whoever?
I just honestly hope that Mom is sitting up and watching over me and got to be with Bradley again and is having tea and fishing with my grandfather and talking with Uncle Ron and seeing all of our old neighbors and discussing how great their kids are here on earth. I hope this is the way it is and what she is doing.
My mom as many mothers were taken far too soon and now I just mourn her death and know that she is not in pain but have a hard time believing that she is happy, I can only hope she is. Hope is a whole other thing in that respect as I had hoped for years that my mother would never get sick and suffer the way she did. I had always thought she would be here and we could talk in the phone.
In the end I am just left wondering and will never know. Miss you Mom and love you lots.

Hubby Gone Again

Well I know it has been forever but I honestly have had the worst year I could ever imagine and I will tell you a bit about that so you can fully understand what I am doing and going through in my fabulous little life.
But first things first , Matt was gone all summer from July 2nd until September 21 and then was home until October 26th and had to leave unexpectedly again. As some of you may know Matts mom was diagnosed with Cancer in early July and he had to spend most of the summer there with his folks and deal with stuff out in Vancouver. It has been a hard year for both of us but extremely hard being apart. As of last Sunday his mom was put into Hospice and is not going to be getting out and they have told us it is now just a matter of time whether that be a week or a month from now we do not know so he flew back out to Vancouver to be with her and has been spending every night at hospice with her.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for Matts mom and love her dearly, I am having an extremely hard time with this as well and it has only been 5 months to date since mom passed away from almost the same cancers. It is also extremely hard for both of us as our fathers are both not well too. My father is on dialysis three days a week and Matts dad has been recently diagnosed with Alzeimers.
I can not imagine losing Mom Allsopp this year as well but now it is become a reality and is just going to happen. I am still grieving my mom every day and do not think the pain will ever go away and am not sure I want it to, It reminds me every day how fabulous a mother I had and how much I miss her.
I will be flying out to Vancouver as well here in the next couple weeks and be there for Matt, not sure what kind of support I will be but I will try and I will be there for him and stand by him. His mother , like my mother is the world to Matt and I never thought that in the same year we would both lose our moms.

Other things that have happened this summer to us is we lost my brother inlaw Lorne who passed away in September, I feel bad for Cheryl but am still not ready to reconnect with her totally. I can not imagine losing my spouse.
A few more changes in our lives this year, our former best friends Ken and Barbie and Skunkhead, (obviously not their real names) are no longer our friends and they can't even handle to say hi. Matt and I were both fooled by their phoniness and extreme childish behavior. Oh well I am so glad they are no longer a part of our lives. I am so glad that those jealous people.
I honestly thought I would miss them after supposedly being their best friends for the last two years but I do not.

I have been keeping myself busy in the house and doing the final little things around here to complete our renovations but yet everyday I seem to add a new project to the list and keep doing them and then add another. I have given all the floors another  coat of varnish,  redid some of the kitchen and added a pantry , touched up all the paint in the house and finally finished the stairs. I also redid two pieces of furniture for the house and built  patio table and bench.

Now the new projects for this month are to  wallpaper the bathroom, paint the ceiling in the powder room silver, give the stairs another coat of varnish. I am also building some built in shelves for the sides of the fireplace I built last year.
I have also started my own design business and have to give a quote for a job here soon, I also refinish antique furniture and am currently working on three large pieces for a neighbor and good friend. Anyhow I will keep you all up to date with Matts mom and what is happening. Thanks for reading and I will try to be back sooner than I have been in the past.

Hubby away

Well Matt left for his trip to Vancouver on July 2nd and has extended it to stay longer for personal reasons so I miss him lots but am so glad he is where he needs to be. I have been getting a lot accomplished since he has been gone. I have revarnished the floors on the main level,  Reconfigured
the kitchen layout and repainted the master bedroom and started to repaint the bathroom as well.
Been working my ass off and trying to stay busy with Matt gone and trying to stay extra busy to keep my mind off everything.
I have also stained the stairs and repainted the back of the stairs as well and making our house look amazing again as it already does. I love our little house and everything about it. I think I will always be doing something here because it is my nature and I like to keep busy.
Seven weeks today since Mom is gone and I hate it more everyday. I miss her so much and am so sad. I just still can't believe she is gone. It feels so weird not to be able to call her or talk to her when I need to and want to. Everything I do, I wish I could tell her and send her pictures, but most of all I wish I could go and spend more time with her.
I still have not spoken to any of my family except for Dad who I have become very close to and am enjoying our new relationship. We talk on the phone at least 2 times a week now and I do so enjoy our conversations and everything.
I can not believe yet that my sister an brother would not even take a day off when they found out their Mom passed away. It just makes me sick and then to think that they could not even help me with the arrangements for mom, or with cleaning up the house and doing everything. They are disgusting in everyway and I guess I always knew that.
I don't think I will ever speak to them again and I am okay with that now. I have family and am glad for the family that I have. Anyhow I don't really have a lot to say, I am sad and just need a day of alone time.
Please take care and thanks for reading, I promise to be back and write sooner than I have been.

Feeling Lucky

I am feeling lucky for many reasons today, and also very sad in many other ways. I feel very happy and lucky to have a great husband, who puts up with me, stands by me and supports me and has been more than fantastic this last month. I also have great friends and a few distant relatives who make life easier and just care so much, It is nice to feel loved and needed by people. My inlaws are also about the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for. Plus I have our dogs and cats who just know when you need a little extra love.
But the biggest reason I feel lucky today is memories of my mother and the great time we had together always, but my fondest memories are from the last two visits and how I got to be with her. For anyone that knows me, and knew Mom, you could see where I get my attitude, my personality and my views on life. I got it all from her and am so glad that I did.
My time out with Mom and Dad in November was amazing and I flew out for Moms birthday and took them out for Chinese food, everytime we talked on the phone after that, Mom always brought it up, that it was her best birthday and her favorite meal ever. I am just so glad that I went to see her and spent that time with her, we went shopping that week, got to go to thrift stores and her and I both loved that, just to find that little treasure and take it home for a buck or two. Helping her to get her house reading for Christmas and just the smile on her face whenever I walked through that door to see her, Makes me happy and sad all at once, knowing I will not see her smile again or hear her voice.
My second visit this year was the end of May and I am so glad I did it and know now that the universe was on my side for when I went and everything that happened while I was there. When I phoned Mom on Mothers day this year I apologized for not sending anything but told her that I was going to send something out the end of May, and I did, I sent me out to be with her and Dad. I was so happy to be there and the look on her face when I walked in and she saw me was just priceless, but Mom did not look like Mom then, she was so tiny and grey but she still had that great smile and her face just lit up as soon as I walked through the door. Those are the memories I try to hold onto and am so glad I have them because I will have something many people will never have and that is I got to be there and say good bye. I never wanted to say good bye to her and thought that I would have more time. But I am so thankful for the time we had all the things we did together throughout our lives. She was the best mother to me and I will never stop missing her and will also always love her with all my heart. It feels like I am missing a piece of my heart everyday now that she is gone and I know this does not change and went through this before with Bradley. It never does get easier, just different.
I also got so much closer to Dad over the last month , it has been amazing and am so happy for that, he has come along way and is an amazing man, was not always there for me , but somehow we are there for each other now. Dad said he loved me for the first time in ten years before I left Alberta to come back here three weeks ago and I must say those were the most amazing words I have ever heard from him in so long. I love my father and yes we have had our hurdles, challenges and disputes over the years but we have also managed to now put all that behind us and go on with a new start as Mom would have wanted.
Thank you for your support and love , not just now but always. love to all of you.