December 1st is approaching quickly and I do be lieve this will be a very hard day for all my family and for myself, this would have been Bradleys 41st birthday and it is still hard to believe that he is not here with us.
It has been just over 6 months now and it is not any easier.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him and miss him. It never seems to get easier but does seem to get different when you loose someone that you care about. I still think it was so unfair for him to be taken from his family and all of us who loved and knew him.
I know I will never be as good as Brad was and no one will ever replace him in any way. I now realize he was the glue that held this family together and now that he is gone, that glue has disappeared with him. You never realize how important anyone is when they are with you so all I can say to that is remind them every chance you get how important they are.
I miss you Bradley and I wish you were here so I could tell you how much I love you and wish you a Happy Birthday.
I was going through boxes the other day and found old family pictures and it made me happy and sad at the same time, there were picture of the whole family from years ago, some of Grandma and Grandpa Potter, and one of Grandma and Grandpa Metzger. Just a mix of everything when we were all happy and got along and were all in Alberta and here and together. Pictures are always a great memory and reminder of better times in ones life.
I sent my mother a letter and birthday card the other day, Her birthday was yesterday. Happy Birthday Mom. I am not sure I will ever speak to most of my family again , but do know and hope to reconnect with Mom again. I miss her more than anyone and just want to pick up the phone somedays and tell her that. I wish I could but know I am not ready to yet. Hard to be without her. We use to talk on the phone at least 2 to 3 times a week.
As for the rest of my family I do not have much to say though I do say this my thoughts go out to Patti and the kids tomorrow because I know it will be hard for all of you, wishing you the best.
I wish all my family well over the holidays and hold no grudges against any of you, I just have nothing to say to any of you or want to speak with any of you at this point and time and for some of you probably never again, I am sure the feeling is mutual.
Matt and I have built a live of our own, and have a great family with his parents and friends who surround us on a daily basis, either here in Toronto or throughout the world.Thank you to all those people who are in our lives and with us daily. We love you very much and appreciate your friendships.
The holidays are soon approaching and I just want to take a moment to say Happy Holidays to everyone, whether we speak or not, I hope you all have a great Holiday season.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Working Our Asses Off
Well happy Hump Day to all. It has been a great week here and we are accomplishing so much here in our little house. I did some more mudding of drywall and tiling yesterday in the bathroom. Today is hanging the rest of the drywall upstairs and preparing to paint and wall paper the bathroom and then cut tiles and get things done so we can complete another room.
Then I need to run to Homo Depot and pick up another spool of wire and finish the last little bit of wiring in the house, Kitchen lighting, baseboard heater in back porch, lighting for back bedroom, and plug-ins in our master bedroom. Can't wait till it is all done and then all that will be left in the house is refinishing floors, mudding and sanding dry wall and painting and wall papering rooms.
We have picked out a very dark stain for our floors, going to carpet the upstairs bedrooms. Life is good and we are so happy here in our house and with everything that we are doing and have done. Love it all.
Matt has been sick this week and his back has been really bad and bothering him a lot. I hope he gets better soon and they just do this damn surgery, it has been too long and it is just stupid how long we have to wait for him to even see a specialist at all.
So far today I have not completed a thing and been sitting here on the couch relaxing and trying to get rid of my damn headaches, other than taking the dogs for a walk and bringing the green bin back in, i really can't say that I have done too much, i will however get my ass in gear this afternoon and get things done. Need to get that tile cut so when Matt gets home I can finish the bathroom and move on to the next room.
On the other side of the fence I still have not heard a word from any of my family and am guessing I won't for a while, lonely at times but i am a strong person and will get through anything i put my mind to. I miss some of them somedays but there are other days that I don't even think of them and am happy with the family I have, which consists of a few cousins, some great friends, Matt and his parents and our wonderful animals. This family that I now have proven to be far better and more supportive in any way and in every way compared to my immediate family.
I do however miss my mother, the rest can rot in hell as far as I am concerned and yes you can all say I will be there first and this is quite possibly true. I will call Mom in the next month or so and have written letters to everyone else and I will send those out soon as I am happy with them. Just a final good bye to them and what I need to say.
Any how i need to get my ass back to work, Have a great day and thank you for reading.
Then I need to run to Homo Depot and pick up another spool of wire and finish the last little bit of wiring in the house, Kitchen lighting, baseboard heater in back porch, lighting for back bedroom, and plug-ins in our master bedroom. Can't wait till it is all done and then all that will be left in the house is refinishing floors, mudding and sanding dry wall and painting and wall papering rooms.
We have picked out a very dark stain for our floors, going to carpet the upstairs bedrooms. Life is good and we are so happy here in our house and with everything that we are doing and have done. Love it all.
Matt has been sick this week and his back has been really bad and bothering him a lot. I hope he gets better soon and they just do this damn surgery, it has been too long and it is just stupid how long we have to wait for him to even see a specialist at all.
So far today I have not completed a thing and been sitting here on the couch relaxing and trying to get rid of my damn headaches, other than taking the dogs for a walk and bringing the green bin back in, i really can't say that I have done too much, i will however get my ass in gear this afternoon and get things done. Need to get that tile cut so when Matt gets home I can finish the bathroom and move on to the next room.
On the other side of the fence I still have not heard a word from any of my family and am guessing I won't for a while, lonely at times but i am a strong person and will get through anything i put my mind to. I miss some of them somedays but there are other days that I don't even think of them and am happy with the family I have, which consists of a few cousins, some great friends, Matt and his parents and our wonderful animals. This family that I now have proven to be far better and more supportive in any way and in every way compared to my immediate family.
I do however miss my mother, the rest can rot in hell as far as I am concerned and yes you can all say I will be there first and this is quite possibly true. I will call Mom in the next month or so and have written letters to everyone else and I will send those out soon as I am happy with them. Just a final good bye to them and what I need to say.
Any how i need to get my ass back to work, Have a great day and thank you for reading.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
More and More everyday
Well we have been doing more everyday in the house and getting things done slowly but surely and it is all starting to come together and looking great. I have completed the lights in the bathroom and master bedroom and all electrical plugs in the back bedroom. Yesterday I went up in the attic again and finished hooking up the bathroom exhaust fan, what a challenge that was, so tight up there, I went to move and got roofing nails stuck in the top of my head, scraped and cut a bit and man it hurt, but it is done now. Only have to go up the attic for one more thing and that is to position and put the light in the back bedroom. It will be so nice to get all that done and not have to crawl up in the attic again for a while, thank fucken god, I hate it up there!
On schedule for this week is sanding and painting of walls and maybe lighting in the kitchen, which was finally purchased yesterday, Matt rode his bike downtown and picked it up at Canadian Tire, so now we have all our lighting for the house, so a bit more wire to purchase and away we go, also have to put our baseboard heater in the back room.
We are going to have a gay day today and go out to the bars and Church Street, we have not been out at all to a bar or had a gay day since Pride, way back the end of June. Looking forward to getting out and having some fun and a few drinks. Then home to watch our shows tonight. But first I need to change the bandages on my head, shave and do some manscaping so I look gay enough to go out.
The weather has been great here as of lately and I am going to go out and enjoy it and take the girls for a walk here soon. They love gong around the block and the fresh air. Last night was a quiet night and we have been having a date night on Staurdays lately. We watch a movie and just relax and then usually watch Saturday Night Live while relaxing in bed.
Mara and Jeff dropped over for a bit and had a drink and smoke with us which was a nice break from a horrible movie, The new Spiderman movie sucked and I would not waste my time to watch it again. Anyhow I leave it up to you, just not my taste.
So this week will be busy and we have lots to do. Matt has appointments all week and is very busy as well. So to everyone who reads this, have a great day, enjoy the fab weather here in Toronto or where ever you may be and thank you for reading, Bye for now
On schedule for this week is sanding and painting of walls and maybe lighting in the kitchen, which was finally purchased yesterday, Matt rode his bike downtown and picked it up at Canadian Tire, so now we have all our lighting for the house, so a bit more wire to purchase and away we go, also have to put our baseboard heater in the back room.
We are going to have a gay day today and go out to the bars and Church Street, we have not been out at all to a bar or had a gay day since Pride, way back the end of June. Looking forward to getting out and having some fun and a few drinks. Then home to watch our shows tonight. But first I need to change the bandages on my head, shave and do some manscaping so I look gay enough to go out.
The weather has been great here as of lately and I am going to go out and enjoy it and take the girls for a walk here soon. They love gong around the block and the fresh air. Last night was a quiet night and we have been having a date night on Staurdays lately. We watch a movie and just relax and then usually watch Saturday Night Live while relaxing in bed.
Mara and Jeff dropped over for a bit and had a drink and smoke with us which was a nice break from a horrible movie, The new Spiderman movie sucked and I would not waste my time to watch it again. Anyhow I leave it up to you, just not my taste.
So this week will be busy and we have lots to do. Matt has appointments all week and is very busy as well. So to everyone who reads this, have a great day, enjoy the fab weather here in Toronto or where ever you may be and thank you for reading, Bye for now
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Coming Together
Things are really coming together here in our little house in Toronto. Matthew tiled the kitchen backsplash and also tiled the front entry way. Looks amazing!
I wall papered the front entry way and also paint the brick and board in the front entry so we finally have a total room done, love it!
This week I ran the electrical for upstairs and we finally have a light in our bedroom, an exhaust fan and plug in the bathroom, plugs in the back bedroom and hallway, so nice to have power and not extension cords all the way upstairs. I am actually proud of myself and of Matt for what we are doing and that we are doing it all on our own.
Today I have to go up in the attic again and wire the bathroom lights, cut a hole for the exhaust in the bathroom and cut a light hole and run more wire for electrical plugs in the master bedroom, things are really shaping up, unfortunately it is a lot of stuff that you can not see, but fuck it looks great.
On the other side of our lives we have both had a cold off and on for the last two weeks and I have been suffering from a lack of sleep and headaches so it has been a painful week for me. Matt has also been in extreme pain because of his back and going to physio twice a week is not helping as of yet. He finally got a call from his doctors and is seeing a surgeon, though it is not until February. Hope it gets done and he gets better soon, so hard on him.
I have also been doing some work for our neighbor and am looking to get back to work here soon as well, been applying for a few jobs here and there and thinking of going back to work part time at least so we can get a little of our lives back.
Well time for me to run and get a few groceries and then get my ass back to work on the house, Have a great day and thanks for reading, talk to you soon.
I wall papered the front entry way and also paint the brick and board in the front entry so we finally have a total room done, love it!
This week I ran the electrical for upstairs and we finally have a light in our bedroom, an exhaust fan and plug in the bathroom, plugs in the back bedroom and hallway, so nice to have power and not extension cords all the way upstairs. I am actually proud of myself and of Matt for what we are doing and that we are doing it all on our own.
Today I have to go up in the attic again and wire the bathroom lights, cut a hole for the exhaust in the bathroom and cut a light hole and run more wire for electrical plugs in the master bedroom, things are really shaping up, unfortunately it is a lot of stuff that you can not see, but fuck it looks great.
On the other side of our lives we have both had a cold off and on for the last two weeks and I have been suffering from a lack of sleep and headaches so it has been a painful week for me. Matt has also been in extreme pain because of his back and going to physio twice a week is not helping as of yet. He finally got a call from his doctors and is seeing a surgeon, though it is not until February. Hope it gets done and he gets better soon, so hard on him.
I have also been doing some work for our neighbor and am looking to get back to work here soon as well, been applying for a few jobs here and there and thinking of going back to work part time at least so we can get a little of our lives back.
Well time for me to run and get a few groceries and then get my ass back to work on the house, Have a great day and thanks for reading, talk to you soon.
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