Today is my birthday and I am turning 42 today. I wish it were a happier day and I wish it felt like a great birthday but it does not. It was a horrible weekend and a very rough last 2 weeks and I am very sad as of yet.
I have realized that now for a family I have Matt, Cheryl my sister, her son David and daughter Michelle, my sister inlaws Patti and Adrienne, my nieces Amanda and Alicia and nephews Derek, Shane and Ryan. It is weird to go from a huge large family who I thought all once cared and loved me and soon realized I was wrong, not only by the threats and things said to me which I will explain to you all later on this blog.
But I also realize this by the fact that if someone says they love you in spite of the fact you are gay and have to bring this up every time they say they love you or tell someone they love you, they truly don't love you or accept you for who you are, this is very hard for me and I am so saddened by this. My parents have basically disowned me and this is all due to my nephew and my one sister with who I share this my birthday, the whore is 45 today.
I use to look forward to 3 phone calls every year on my birthday and this year I will be lucky to get one of those! Mom use to call, but that is done, Brad use to call me every year, but it has now been 2 weeks since he has passed away, I miss you my little brother, and Cheryl use to call so i am sure I will hear from her at some point today. Maybe this year Adrienne and Patti will call me and just remind me that it should be a happy day. I want to mention I thank all my face book friends and family for all the birthday wishes, you all know how to make an old man feel loved.
So to get back to the reason I am not speaking with most of my family and have had to cut them out of my life. 1 week ago Saturday was my little brothers memorial as you well know if you read this regularly, my parents declined to go to Brads memorial because they were being self fish and Kory my nephew was asked not to go for personal reasons I am not comfortable getting into. Anyhow because of this Mom and Dad did not even go to say good bye and this caused a rift because Mom got all pissy that no one stood behind their decision. I can not and will not ever back a decision by anyone which I do not agree with.
On the Friday morning when we were in Alberta and the day before Brads service all hell broke loose at the farm. Charlene was strung out again on her meth or drug of choice, Kory was being his normal asshole self and his girl friend who looks like Boso the clown was just being a bitch, plain and simple. Ernie formerly known as my father was just being rude to both Matt and myself and well Mom she just let the water works flow and blamed everyone else.
Following this Matt and I left the farm and went up to stay with Cheryl that day and for the remainder of our stay which was shortened due to rude messages and call from Mom. We left on Sunday afternoon instead of Wednesday morning as we were suppose to. I won't get into what was said and all that shit, lets just say I have been disowned.
I guess the point of me telling you all of this is just to say that being gay is never easy and you will always have family who chooses not to be apart of your life but as you get older you also realize that your family is not just those who are blood related but your new family becomes those who you love and those who love you for who you are. That is what my family now consists of, it is no longer about those who I am directly related to through blood, but I have gotten the chance to pick my family and I am lucky for they have picked me as well. You kn ow who you are and I just want to thank you all for choosing to love me for who I am.
As for the last weekend my ex sister the crack whore(yes I can call her that, it may seem harsh, but it is true), her son Kory and her father Ernie all sent me threatening text messages and phone calls all Saturday night from 11pm till 3am until I eventually blocked all 4 numbers on my phone and then they started to call Matts phone and leave messages. Was a horribly rough night and basically sleepless night. That is all I am really going to say on this subject for now, except we are going to the police and laying charges and filing a report and I had to get my phone number changed yesterday.
I will try and write a more cheerful blog later on today or tomorrow, but for right now I just have to get this off my chest.
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