Hello all, my horners syndrome is getting worse lately and my eye is seeming to be a lot more closed, it is hard somedays to have any light or be outside if it is really nice out. if you do not know what horners is here is the definition is the combination of drooping of the eyelid (ptosis) and constriction of the pupil (miosis), sometimes accompanied by decreased sweating of the face on the same side; redness of the conjunctiva of the eye is often also present. It indicates a problem with the sympathetic nervous system, a part of the autonomic nervous system. Medical imaging and response to particular eye drops may be required to identify the location of the problem and the underlying cause.[1]
My biggest problem with this is it also causes unbarable headaches and I can barely function somedays due to the pain and they can not treat Horner's Syndrome appropriately until they find the underlying cause, so for now I take different pills trying to stop the headaches and subside my pain, basically meaning that I just have to live with this, not a lot of fun or anything that I care to live with ever.
Yesterday the headaches and pain were so bad that on Sunday night I did not get to sleep until around 5am and then was awake by 7:30am, so I managed to get a whole 2 and 1/2 hours sleep. yuck. I phoned my doctor and he managed to get me in right away to see him. Thank god, so we rode our bikes downtown and Matt came with me to the doctor. To say the least the headaches are just getting worse and so is my eye. I need the doctors to find out the cause soon, this is becoming a hassle for living my daily life and is also affecting Matt as when I am sick and have headaches, he is so concerned and tries so hard to help me deal with the pain.
I am still on my tylenol 3 for the headaches and also another pill and now on oxycodene as well for the pain, at least on that last night I got some sleep. Felt so good to get my 7 hours of sleep.
So there you go, hopefully they will find the cause soon and be able to treat that and then with any luck the headaches will stop. Have a great day.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
A week in review
Our week has been very subdued and we have been flying under the radar as of late and both been back and forth with different days of sickness here. I have had the most upset stomach ever this last week and that is okay as I know it is from the tylenol and at least the headaches seem to go away with the more I take.
Headaches seem to be getting worse for me lately and yesterday I could barely see out of my eye and this was a real hassle. Oh well life goes on and so do we right?
I have been working in the garden all week and doing stuff around the house and little by little feeling a sense of accomplishment. It is all good. Yesterday I sewed two sets of drapes for the front doors. They look really good and forgive me for saying but now if I come down the stairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water or something I don't have to get dressed or throw on my robe, uh perfect.
You know how it is , you get up in the middle of the night, can't sleep and don't really feel like looking for something to throw on , you just wanna go and sit on the couch and grab a cupcake and a glass of pop, just relax and be you.
last night Miss Mara came by and made cupcakes with Matt, well Matt was suppose to help, but to no avail he did a little and then let her take care of it, she is an amazing baker, my god, it is amazing I don't weigh 400 lbs with a neighbor like that.
As I said before I also managed to get some of the electrical I ran all hooked up and a few more to go, lots more to run and things are looking great, everything working perfectly thus far, I am happy and so is Matt. So that is all for now, it is the weekend and we are just relaxing, will do some more sewing tomorrow if I can muster the energy and get through it all. So for now I bid you all an amazing weekend and will be back soon.
By the way I need everyones supports and comments on why I would be a great contestant and addition to the big brother Canada house. Wish me luck and please leave comments as to why I should be on the show.
Headaches seem to be getting worse for me lately and yesterday I could barely see out of my eye and this was a real hassle. Oh well life goes on and so do we right?
I have been working in the garden all week and doing stuff around the house and little by little feeling a sense of accomplishment. It is all good. Yesterday I sewed two sets of drapes for the front doors. They look really good and forgive me for saying but now if I come down the stairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water or something I don't have to get dressed or throw on my robe, uh perfect.
You know how it is , you get up in the middle of the night, can't sleep and don't really feel like looking for something to throw on , you just wanna go and sit on the couch and grab a cupcake and a glass of pop, just relax and be you.
last night Miss Mara came by and made cupcakes with Matt, well Matt was suppose to help, but to no avail he did a little and then let her take care of it, she is an amazing baker, my god, it is amazing I don't weigh 400 lbs with a neighbor like that.
As I said before I also managed to get some of the electrical I ran all hooked up and a few more to go, lots more to run and things are looking great, everything working perfectly thus far, I am happy and so is Matt. So that is all for now, it is the weekend and we are just relaxing, will do some more sewing tomorrow if I can muster the energy and get through it all. So for now I bid you all an amazing weekend and will be back soon.
By the way I need everyones supports and comments on why I would be a great contestant and addition to the big brother Canada house. Wish me luck and please leave comments as to why I should be on the show.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
More and More Renovations
Well it has been another very busy week and I am not sure where I have left off with what I have told you all about our renovations so here I go and I will tell you a few more things we have accomplished and a lot more of what we have to do.
To start off I have to say I rewired the garage and put up out door lights outside the garage and installed a ceiling fan inside the garage to help cool off and circulate the air in their. I am actually getting good at his stuff. Monday I did some work in the garden and same with Tuesday and I weeded the driveway, so many little things to get done and out of the way, but it sure is fricken nice to be getting things done and even nicer when the neighbors notice. Yesterday we finally got our gas stove hooked up and the gas ran to the deck for our Bar B Q whenever we can find a bloody conversion kit for it, will be so nice not to have to run and grab propane every damn time, hard to do without a car.
Also yesterday afternoon I hooked up some of the new electrical that I have ran, I am really quite happy and proud the shit actually worked and also the house didn't burn down. Just kidding. I am doing quite well on everything I have had to do here in the house and so is Matt, this will be our little masterpiece when we are all finished and everything is done we will have a kick ass fucken house.
The dogs and cats are doing very well with all the renovations as well in the house and have gotten quite use to the turmoil and mess and noise that we seem to make all day long while we are working, gotta love how they just get used to everything.
Sparky and Nadia have been out everyday and Sparky seems to stay out all day and then he comes home around 7 every night. I am not sure what he is doing out there for so long , but every once in a while he brings home a lovely gift and meets us at the back door with one of his kills from the week. Always nice, but what the hell can you do, the circle of life as they say.
Nadia has brought her fair share back here as well including one that was totally alive and got loose in the house, always fun to try and catch a bird flying around your house and hiding behind appliances, not so much fun to move damn it.
Rogue and Storm love the neighborhood and also love their little walks around the block and here when we go out side for our little breaks and a nice cold ice tea or cooler after the hard days work is done. I just have to say again that we really love our little hood and we are doing quite well here. Happy Happy Joy Joy.
Life is good , need I say more, not tonight, but soon.
To start off I have to say I rewired the garage and put up out door lights outside the garage and installed a ceiling fan inside the garage to help cool off and circulate the air in their. I am actually getting good at his stuff. Monday I did some work in the garden and same with Tuesday and I weeded the driveway, so many little things to get done and out of the way, but it sure is fricken nice to be getting things done and even nicer when the neighbors notice. Yesterday we finally got our gas stove hooked up and the gas ran to the deck for our Bar B Q whenever we can find a bloody conversion kit for it, will be so nice not to have to run and grab propane every damn time, hard to do without a car.
Also yesterday afternoon I hooked up some of the new electrical that I have ran, I am really quite happy and proud the shit actually worked and also the house didn't burn down. Just kidding. I am doing quite well on everything I have had to do here in the house and so is Matt, this will be our little masterpiece when we are all finished and everything is done we will have a kick ass fucken house.
The dogs and cats are doing very well with all the renovations as well in the house and have gotten quite use to the turmoil and mess and noise that we seem to make all day long while we are working, gotta love how they just get used to everything.
Sparky and Nadia have been out everyday and Sparky seems to stay out all day and then he comes home around 7 every night. I am not sure what he is doing out there for so long , but every once in a while he brings home a lovely gift and meets us at the back door with one of his kills from the week. Always nice, but what the hell can you do, the circle of life as they say.
Nadia has brought her fair share back here as well including one that was totally alive and got loose in the house, always fun to try and catch a bird flying around your house and hiding behind appliances, not so much fun to move damn it.
Rogue and Storm love the neighborhood and also love their little walks around the block and here when we go out side for our little breaks and a nice cold ice tea or cooler after the hard days work is done. I just have to say again that we really love our little hood and we are doing quite well here. Happy Happy Joy Joy.
Life is good , need I say more, not tonight, but soon.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Our Saturday Night
Last night was amazing and we had a small get together and Bar B Q. It was amazing and so much fun, Matt made Rotiserie Chicken and his famous bar b q ribs, I made fresh spinach salad from the garden and a fruit salad. We also had fresh veggies and dip which Nancy brought over.
The company last night mad it a perfect night and let me just tell you we had the most amazing mix of people here for dinner and for conversation and drinks. Wayne came over with Jade and brought us Macaronni Salad, Wayne Howell also came by and had dinner, It was so nice to see him and visit and show everyone our home. Our neighbors Mara and Jeff were also here for dinner and as always they are a great time and always a joy to be with. Nancy and Ann also were here with Anns new puppy Ben, He is so cute and so active, not sure I could do the puppy thing again.
Later on Louisa from 3 doors down dropped by as well and she is just a riot, we are so lucky again to be where we are and have the neighbors we have here.
I want to thank Nancy for all the lovely veggies and snacks she brought over for us, amazing and this dip she brought was just terrific.
We all sat out back on the deck until 1am when people slowly departed, Matt, Louisa, Jeff and I were there till well after 1:30, god what a blast and so damn much fun, can't wait to do this again.
Yesterday morning we did a garage sale and that was also a lot of fun and we made a few extra dollars which was great and an added bonus.
Also this week I got what I think may be a job to give us a bit of extra money, yay! I am going to go and decorate a house and organize it for one of our neighbors which will be so much fun for me as it is something that I truly enjoy. I am so happy to be here.
Also for those who do not know I am auditioning for Big Brother Canada and already started to make my new Audition tape, I may have the chance to live out a life long dream and go on a reality tv show. Wish me luck. Love you all and have a great night, be back soon. Tomorrow I have to finish running electrical in the house and get things up and running and all new here in the house. I have to say I am doing quite well at it and I am so happy with the progress we have made here in the house. Matt and I are an amazing team.
The company last night mad it a perfect night and let me just tell you we had the most amazing mix of people here for dinner and for conversation and drinks. Wayne came over with Jade and brought us Macaronni Salad, Wayne Howell also came by and had dinner, It was so nice to see him and visit and show everyone our home. Our neighbors Mara and Jeff were also here for dinner and as always they are a great time and always a joy to be with. Nancy and Ann also were here with Anns new puppy Ben, He is so cute and so active, not sure I could do the puppy thing again.
Later on Louisa from 3 doors down dropped by as well and she is just a riot, we are so lucky again to be where we are and have the neighbors we have here.
I want to thank Nancy for all the lovely veggies and snacks she brought over for us, amazing and this dip she brought was just terrific.
We all sat out back on the deck until 1am when people slowly departed, Matt, Louisa, Jeff and I were there till well after 1:30, god what a blast and so damn much fun, can't wait to do this again.
Yesterday morning we did a garage sale and that was also a lot of fun and we made a few extra dollars which was great and an added bonus.
Also this week I got what I think may be a job to give us a bit of extra money, yay! I am going to go and decorate a house and organize it for one of our neighbors which will be so much fun for me as it is something that I truly enjoy. I am so happy to be here.
Also for those who do not know I am auditioning for Big Brother Canada and already started to make my new Audition tape, I may have the chance to live out a life long dream and go on a reality tv show. Wish me luck. Love you all and have a great night, be back soon. Tomorrow I have to finish running electrical in the house and get things up and running and all new here in the house. I have to say I am doing quite well at it and I am so happy with the progress we have made here in the house. Matt and I are an amazing team.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Great Neighbors
Just to say it again, we have great neighbors here and we all seem to work together and get along great, at least on this side of the street anyways, Next to Mara and Jeff is Stephanie and Wes , another young couple who seem to be also very outgoing and friendly. To proof my point , Matt and I were standing out in front of Jeff and Mara house last night having a visit , Wes came out and visited for a bit, then Xavier came out , then Louisa and her husband Mike came by, soon after we were having a small neighborhood party. It was great!
Next saturday we are going to try and have a block garage sale, already talked to Flora, Jeff and Mara, Wes and Stephanie, Louisa, have to talk to Peggy and Jackie and Xavier yet. But I am sure we can have a great sale and a good weekend for the whole block.
The more I get to know our neighbors , the more I just love it here and getting to know them seems like a huge pleasure everyday. Perfect. Matthew and I truly lucked out when we bought the house here and are thankful everyday that we did. We are truly happy here and get along with all of our neighbors well thus far. It amazes me that you can feel this close to people who you hardly know it such a short time, especially in such a large city as Toronto, but we do.
I never even felt this much friendliness in one neighborhood that I have ever lived, just goes to show you , you never know, everything happens for a reason. We are very happy for those reasons what ever they may be.
Xavier brought me plants last night for watching his house this week and being there on thursday while the A/C was installed for him. I also helped Jim and Deanna move in their new appliances yesterday, Hopefully some good karma will come my way soon. All I have to say is our neighbors our neighbors are now are we friends and we are thankful to all of them and for all of them. You make us feel like we are home and that we belong, no better feeling in the world.
Next saturday we are going to try and have a block garage sale, already talked to Flora, Jeff and Mara, Wes and Stephanie, Louisa, have to talk to Peggy and Jackie and Xavier yet. But I am sure we can have a great sale and a good weekend for the whole block.
The more I get to know our neighbors , the more I just love it here and getting to know them seems like a huge pleasure everyday. Perfect. Matthew and I truly lucked out when we bought the house here and are thankful everyday that we did. We are truly happy here and get along with all of our neighbors well thus far. It amazes me that you can feel this close to people who you hardly know it such a short time, especially in such a large city as Toronto, but we do.
I never even felt this much friendliness in one neighborhood that I have ever lived, just goes to show you , you never know, everything happens for a reason. We are very happy for those reasons what ever they may be.
Xavier brought me plants last night for watching his house this week and being there on thursday while the A/C was installed for him. I also helped Jim and Deanna move in their new appliances yesterday, Hopefully some good karma will come my way soon. All I have to say is our neighbors our neighbors are now are we friends and we are thankful to all of them and for all of them. You make us feel like we are home and that we belong, no better feeling in the world.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Today
Today I am up early again and going over to the neighbors to wait for their air conditioner installer to come by as he is at work. I never mind helping our neighbors and it will hopefully bring some good karma our way. So far in our new neighborhood, everyone is great and very friendly, we really lucked out when we moved here and purchased this house.
We have the best neighbors constantly bringing us plants, and other little things like lattice for the back yard garden, fresh baked banana bread and cookies, Matthews favorites. Have to say this is the happiest I have been in a long time and am so glad to have the people that I have in my life right now. It makes me happy to know that you get to choose your friends and when they choose you back it is even better.
Yesterday I got the bathroom walls sanded and did a second coat of the filler and today I am going to sand that and then paint and put the wall cabinet in place. After that I may start on the staircase and start sanding and getting it ready for paint. I think that will be more than enough for one day. Then tomorrow I can stain the stairs and paint the sides and backs of the stair case. I think it will look really nice when we are done. We have completed so much and have our dream bathroom now with the large oval soaking tub, body sprayers on our shower head and a classic black and white tile theme with a few red accents to be thrown in for color.
I also redid some old crystal chandeliers for upstairs on the stairwell, in the bathroom and the back spare bedroom.
The garden is coming up really well so far and I try to water it every night because we have had a great and very hot summer thus far with very little rain and believe me you , I am not complaining I am very happy about this and would rather water a garden and flowers than live in a rainy wet environment. Love my sun.
The dogs and cats are also loving the warm weather and Sparky and Nadia are out running around every day, the dogs go out with Matt and I to sit on the front porch and drink a coffee, Rogue just lies there and suntans like a little girl, she loves her sun too.
Well time to get my butt in gear and get some stuff done here in our little house. Have a great day and hope you are all well. talk to you soon. The gaybors!
We have the best neighbors constantly bringing us plants, and other little things like lattice for the back yard garden, fresh baked banana bread and cookies, Matthews favorites. Have to say this is the happiest I have been in a long time and am so glad to have the people that I have in my life right now. It makes me happy to know that you get to choose your friends and when they choose you back it is even better.
Yesterday I got the bathroom walls sanded and did a second coat of the filler and today I am going to sand that and then paint and put the wall cabinet in place. After that I may start on the staircase and start sanding and getting it ready for paint. I think that will be more than enough for one day. Then tomorrow I can stain the stairs and paint the sides and backs of the stair case. I think it will look really nice when we are done. We have completed so much and have our dream bathroom now with the large oval soaking tub, body sprayers on our shower head and a classic black and white tile theme with a few red accents to be thrown in for color.
I also redid some old crystal chandeliers for upstairs on the stairwell, in the bathroom and the back spare bedroom.
The garden is coming up really well so far and I try to water it every night because we have had a great and very hot summer thus far with very little rain and believe me you , I am not complaining I am very happy about this and would rather water a garden and flowers than live in a rainy wet environment. Love my sun.
The dogs and cats are also loving the warm weather and Sparky and Nadia are out running around every day, the dogs go out with Matt and I to sit on the front porch and drink a coffee, Rogue just lies there and suntans like a little girl, she loves her sun too.
Well time to get my butt in gear and get some stuff done here in our little house. Have a great day and hope you are all well. talk to you soon. The gaybors!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Mid week already
Well it will be Wednesday tomorrow and Matt is still very sore and not able to do anything this week in the house, rather have him healthy so want him to rest as needed and get totally better so we can get back to work on the house.
I myself have been suffering from the worst headaches that I have had in the last year, Went to the doctor today and have been given an increase in my pills and he has made a referal to the top neurologist in Canada and hopefully I will get into see her in a year if I am lucky. I also have another specialist appointment on August 30 and that will be good as well, have seen this one three times already since last November.
Oh well such is life, as for this I am just learning to deal with it as best I can. Who the hell knows.
That is all I have to say about headaches, doctors and health for now.
I have been chatting nightly with my niece Alicia every day via email and am so glad for that , she is such a great girl and so grown up for 15, she has gone out and gotten a summer job and everything and was so determined to do so. I am very proud of her and enjoy our talks.
Other than that today was a very non productive day, I painted the trim for the bathroom mirror, did a couple little things in the house, made dinner and then baked cookies. So not too bad.
Anyhow not a lot to say right at the moment, but I will talk with you soon and be back later in the week. Thanks for reading and peace out to you all.
I myself have been suffering from the worst headaches that I have had in the last year, Went to the doctor today and have been given an increase in my pills and he has made a referal to the top neurologist in Canada and hopefully I will get into see her in a year if I am lucky. I also have another specialist appointment on August 30 and that will be good as well, have seen this one three times already since last November.
Oh well such is life, as for this I am just learning to deal with it as best I can. Who the hell knows.
That is all I have to say about headaches, doctors and health for now.
I have been chatting nightly with my niece Alicia every day via email and am so glad for that , she is such a great girl and so grown up for 15, she has gone out and gotten a summer job and everything and was so determined to do so. I am very proud of her and enjoy our talks.
Other than that today was a very non productive day, I painted the trim for the bathroom mirror, did a couple little things in the house, made dinner and then baked cookies. So not too bad.
Anyhow not a lot to say right at the moment, but I will talk with you soon and be back later in the week. Thanks for reading and peace out to you all.
Monday, July 9, 2012
My Favorite Niece
This is for my favorite niece, yes Alicia, you are my favorite and I am so damn proud of you for getting a job and just for being you. You beat all odds in your life and you keep in going, you are a perfect example of strength and what a strong person is.
I am so lucky to have you in my life and to you and to you only I apologize for cancelling my face book, because I truly enjoyed our daily conversations and playing mall world with you. I know that things have probably been harder for you since Brad is gone and I understand that, you were his little daredevil girl.
I really hope that you will stay in touch with me via email and just keep on being a strong person and phone me if you ever want to talk.
Alicia was with my younger brother when he had his accident and I can not imagine what that might have been like, her and I have talked about it and she told me everything from that night and I got a point of view and first hand what happened by the one person who was there. I am thankful that she was not hurt at all as well.
After Brad passed Alicia and I got to become very close, first of all during my week in Alberta and then through face book. Today she emailed me and asked why I never mention her in my blog. I have now and want you to know I love you girl. Keep up the great work and congrats again on the job and on your report card and passing grades.
Take care and stay in touch.
I am so lucky to have you in my life and to you and to you only I apologize for cancelling my face book, because I truly enjoyed our daily conversations and playing mall world with you. I know that things have probably been harder for you since Brad is gone and I understand that, you were his little daredevil girl.
I really hope that you will stay in touch with me via email and just keep on being a strong person and phone me if you ever want to talk.
Alicia was with my younger brother when he had his accident and I can not imagine what that might have been like, her and I have talked about it and she told me everything from that night and I got a point of view and first hand what happened by the one person who was there. I am thankful that she was not hurt at all as well.
After Brad passed Alicia and I got to become very close, first of all during my week in Alberta and then through face book. Today she emailed me and asked why I never mention her in my blog. I have now and want you to know I love you girl. Keep up the great work and congrats again on the job and on your report card and passing grades.
Take care and stay in touch.
A Lazy Day
Well i have to report that we had a very lazy day here in the Allter house today, which is fine, lately with all the stress I have been under by certain people my headaches have gotten worse and now I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get new pills to help with the Horners Syndrome. It seems to be getting a lot worse lately which is a bit scary but fine, I am learning to deal with it.
I have an appointment this month with another head specialist and then more tests. So happy about that, not....
I do what I can and have tried everything that I am suppose to, nothing seems to work and my eye is getting worse to the point where I can't even go outside some days. Oh well there are worse off than myself.
So back to my lazy day, All that I got accomplished today was to put up our new mailbox, paint a flower pot, finish painting the corner trim for the mirror for the bathroom, and weeded the garden a little. I also made a practical joke gift for our NAYBOR, gave them 2 can that I painted and made into ashtrays and an old coffee can for butts, thought it was cute and creative.
Yesterday I got all the drapes washed and hung so now the house is darker and so much nicer to sit in and all those damn plastic blinds can come down soon. God I hated them.
Went and had a visit last night with the Naybors again and the lovely Mara gave us some fabulous banana bread again, my word that was amazing.
Anyhow tomorrow is another day and hopefully I can get something better than the pills I take currently to help me to get over the headaches. Till then have a great day everyone and we will talk to you soon. Ta ta from the gaybors!
I have an appointment this month with another head specialist and then more tests. So happy about that, not....
I do what I can and have tried everything that I am suppose to, nothing seems to work and my eye is getting worse to the point where I can't even go outside some days. Oh well there are worse off than myself.
So back to my lazy day, All that I got accomplished today was to put up our new mailbox, paint a flower pot, finish painting the corner trim for the mirror for the bathroom, and weeded the garden a little. I also made a practical joke gift for our NAYBOR, gave them 2 can that I painted and made into ashtrays and an old coffee can for butts, thought it was cute and creative.
Yesterday I got all the drapes washed and hung so now the house is darker and so much nicer to sit in and all those damn plastic blinds can come down soon. God I hated them.
Went and had a visit last night with the Naybors again and the lovely Mara gave us some fabulous banana bread again, my word that was amazing.
Anyhow tomorrow is another day and hopefully I can get something better than the pills I take currently to help me to get over the headaches. Till then have a great day everyone and we will talk to you soon. Ta ta from the gaybors!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Seriously..........
If there is a glimmer of truth isn't that when it hurts and bothers people. I know it is because people use to call me gay and it would hurt like hell.
I write what I want to write on here and I do this under my name and do not hide behind any false pretenses or names or pretend to be anyone else ever.
If you want to write me comments or whatever pertaining to anything I write or have ever written at least have the courage to do it as you, I have the courage to live as I am and as who I am.
I am Michael and i am a 42 year old gay male who is married and disassociated myself with what use to be family.
I do not regret what I write or anything I say on here about anyone ever, this is called freedom of speech and I write things as I see them at the time I write them. If I say something to offend you then call me out on , don't get your spouse to do your dirty work and please don't phone me or my spouse.
I refuse to mention my family that I use to belong to on here at all because those are just wasted words and I am proud of what I write and who I am. I wish they would all just do the same and please try to forget I exist, I have been working on forgetting you all exist every day and yes it does get easier.
I do not wish any of you any ill or bad things but do want you all to respect my wishes and leave us alone, this is why we as a couple choose to live in Toronto.
And to those of you who said to get off my ass and get a job, I will have you know I work my ass off every day, unlike some of you!
I write what I want to write on here and I do this under my name and do not hide behind any false pretenses or names or pretend to be anyone else ever.
If you want to write me comments or whatever pertaining to anything I write or have ever written at least have the courage to do it as you, I have the courage to live as I am and as who I am.
I am Michael and i am a 42 year old gay male who is married and disassociated myself with what use to be family.
I do not regret what I write or anything I say on here about anyone ever, this is called freedom of speech and I write things as I see them at the time I write them. If I say something to offend you then call me out on , don't get your spouse to do your dirty work and please don't phone me or my spouse.
I refuse to mention my family that I use to belong to on here at all because those are just wasted words and I am proud of what I write and who I am. I wish they would all just do the same and please try to forget I exist, I have been working on forgetting you all exist every day and yes it does get easier.
I do not wish any of you any ill or bad things but do want you all to respect my wishes and leave us alone, this is why we as a couple choose to live in Toronto.
And to those of you who said to get off my ass and get a job, I will have you know I work my ass off every day, unlike some of you!
My To Do List......
My to do list keeps getting longer and longer and for all of you who sit back and tell me to get a job, let me tell you, I already have one and it is not an easy one at all, I may not get paid in cash like most people but I do work hard and the pay will be an amazing house for us to live in for a very long time.
Matthew and myself both work very hard on the house and we both work at least 8 hours a day, usually a lot more, doing what we are great at, Matt has redone all the plumbing and doing the tiling in the bathroom and framing walls, blocking and replacing ceiling beams and working his ass off on a daily basis, just so we can have the beautiful home we always wanted.
I on the other hand am doing other things like dry walling, mudding and taping, running new electrical, redoing the hardwood floors and then the finishing stuff like paint, wallpaper, and staining the floors. I have also insulated the walls and ceilings in the house and we are moving along quite well and getting things done at a very nice pace. I love our little house.
Anyhow over the next while this is my to do list, I need to finish wiring the bathroom, start wring the kitchen, wire both bedrooms and then the dining room and living room. Once all the wring is done, we can get the dry wall up, mud and tape it all and then the floors can be finished and we can paint. Doesn't sound like a hole lot of stuff to do, but it actually all takes a lot of time and will keep me busy for a while.
The reward of this will be when Matt and I finish and we can sit back and look at everything we have done and then maybe start again on a flip house, who knows. We are good at renovating and are now experienced and at least when we decorate it doesn't look like a dead animal hunting lodge like some peoples houses in Alberta who are supposed decorators, oh well to each their own.
Today I am going to try and sand the rest of the bathroom that I need to and get it painted back there so Matt can put in the shelving unit and we can start dismantling the old bathroom and set up the configuration of the spare room(man cave).
Life is grand and I am getting back to me, thanks to my new family which is made up of Matt, our animals and a few very good friends. Hope you all have a happy Sunday and I will be back soon, smiles and hugs from your gaybors.
Matthew and myself both work very hard on the house and we both work at least 8 hours a day, usually a lot more, doing what we are great at, Matt has redone all the plumbing and doing the tiling in the bathroom and framing walls, blocking and replacing ceiling beams and working his ass off on a daily basis, just so we can have the beautiful home we always wanted.
I on the other hand am doing other things like dry walling, mudding and taping, running new electrical, redoing the hardwood floors and then the finishing stuff like paint, wallpaper, and staining the floors. I have also insulated the walls and ceilings in the house and we are moving along quite well and getting things done at a very nice pace. I love our little house.
Anyhow over the next while this is my to do list, I need to finish wiring the bathroom, start wring the kitchen, wire both bedrooms and then the dining room and living room. Once all the wring is done, we can get the dry wall up, mud and tape it all and then the floors can be finished and we can paint. Doesn't sound like a hole lot of stuff to do, but it actually all takes a lot of time and will keep me busy for a while.
The reward of this will be when Matt and I finish and we can sit back and look at everything we have done and then maybe start again on a flip house, who knows. We are good at renovating and are now experienced and at least when we decorate it doesn't look like a dead animal hunting lodge like some peoples houses in Alberta who are supposed decorators, oh well to each their own.
Today I am going to try and sand the rest of the bathroom that I need to and get it painted back there so Matt can put in the shelving unit and we can start dismantling the old bathroom and set up the configuration of the spare room(man cave).
Life is grand and I am getting back to me, thanks to my new family which is made up of Matt, our animals and a few very good friends. Hope you all have a happy Sunday and I will be back soon, smiles and hugs from your gaybors.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
married a year
Well yesterday was our one year wedding anniversary and it was amazing and we had such a great size and went out for a bit, not too long , but a bit. Matt and I were married on July 6th last year at Toronto city hall and we had a great simple perfect wedding, our anniversary was much the same.
We went out last night for dinner with Wayne and a friend of his Steven to an amazing Pasta place on Yonge and Front Street call Hot House, really good pasta and great service and the views to people watch, let me tell you, now those were amazing. After dinner the four of us went to see a stand up comedian , a new experience for me! We "won" the tickets from Boom 97.3, thank you. The comedian was Aziz Ansari at the Sony Centre. Great show, I found his opening comedian a bit funnier than him, or maybe a lot more relatable as a person. It was a great show though, then the four of us went our for a quick drink at Zippers and got to see my friend Jason the bartender, known him for over 10 years now and also listened to the piano stylings of a friend of mine Kendall. A great night. After that we came home sat on the couch and just sat together , then went out and had a cigarette with Jeff after he got home from work. A great end to a great day. Thank you to all that were there and for the simple things in life , like friends, being with the one you love and not taking any of that for granted.
Matt has been a bit under the weather lately and we have not gotten a lot accomplished , but we are still working and doing stuff everyday here in the house. i got the bathroom sanded and am getting ready for paint in there this week. I have also been working on the electrical and was up in the attic the other day, the hottest day of the year so far here in Toronto. Anyhow we are getting it done and we are doing it our way.
Have a great day and an amazing weekend and we are off to enjoy starting year number 2 of married life together. talk to you later
We went out last night for dinner with Wayne and a friend of his Steven to an amazing Pasta place on Yonge and Front Street call Hot House, really good pasta and great service and the views to people watch, let me tell you, now those were amazing. After dinner the four of us went to see a stand up comedian , a new experience for me! We "won" the tickets from Boom 97.3, thank you. The comedian was Aziz Ansari at the Sony Centre. Great show, I found his opening comedian a bit funnier than him, or maybe a lot more relatable as a person. It was a great show though, then the four of us went our for a quick drink at Zippers and got to see my friend Jason the bartender, known him for over 10 years now and also listened to the piano stylings of a friend of mine Kendall. A great night. After that we came home sat on the couch and just sat together , then went out and had a cigarette with Jeff after he got home from work. A great end to a great day. Thank you to all that were there and for the simple things in life , like friends, being with the one you love and not taking any of that for granted.
Matt has been a bit under the weather lately and we have not gotten a lot accomplished , but we are still working and doing stuff everyday here in the house. i got the bathroom sanded and am getting ready for paint in there this week. I have also been working on the electrical and was up in the attic the other day, the hottest day of the year so far here in Toronto. Anyhow we are getting it done and we are doing it our way.
Have a great day and an amazing weekend and we are off to enjoy starting year number 2 of married life together. talk to you later
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Tuesday is here again
Well it is Tuesday and it is time to go back to work and do some stuff in the house. Yes we took the weekend off , but not to sit around and drink and get drunk all weekend , but to relax and visit with friends and just enjoy ourselves for a change. It has been so long since we took some time for us and a break from doing the renovations around here, it was a nice change and a good break. We got to hook up with Wayne Howell and see him and go out and ran into Davinci and then on the weekend we got to go and see Cory Hart, who hasn't done a concert in over 10 years and the best part was it was all for free.
We also got to spend sometime with Nancy and Ann and meet the new little puppy Ann got, so damn cute. And of course we got to see Wayne who I must say happy birthday today.
The dogs and cats here are very happy to have their bed set back up in our spare room. Rogue crawls into bed there every night and goes to sleep. She loves having the double bed, Storm and Nadia usually go up and join her for a great nights sleep, Sparky on the other hand just lies down here and sleeps on one of the blue storage bins here in the living room.
All and all life is good and things go on everyday and Matt and I are all the family we truly need, with our lovely animals and a few great friends to surround us. Friends make better family than family does. This month is going to be another stressful one with renos until we are done the kitchen and the bathroom completely, I feel that after these two rooms are completed every other room will seem to be so damn easy. Looking forward to it.
Anyways not too much to report today, going to get to work now after a cigarette and coffee outside with the dogs and check on the garden. Have a great day and talk to you all soon.
We also got to spend sometime with Nancy and Ann and meet the new little puppy Ann got, so damn cute. And of course we got to see Wayne who I must say happy birthday today.
The dogs and cats here are very happy to have their bed set back up in our spare room. Rogue crawls into bed there every night and goes to sleep. She loves having the double bed, Storm and Nadia usually go up and join her for a great nights sleep, Sparky on the other hand just lies down here and sleeps on one of the blue storage bins here in the living room.
All and all life is good and things go on everyday and Matt and I are all the family we truly need, with our lovely animals and a few great friends to surround us. Friends make better family than family does. This month is going to be another stressful one with renos until we are done the kitchen and the bathroom completely, I feel that after these two rooms are completed every other room will seem to be so damn easy. Looking forward to it.
Anyways not too much to report today, going to get to work now after a cigarette and coffee outside with the dogs and check on the garden. Have a great day and talk to you all soon.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Another Weekend Gone
Well the long weekend is gone and here we sit, looks like it will be a half sleepless night.I have done what I felt to be right and am distancing myself from all family at this point and time in my life. You can blame this on who ever you want to say what ever you like but in the end this is my choice and something I need to do for me. I have never been extremely close to any of my remaining family members and thus by doing this now I am free to be who i want to be without any explanation to any one. I still love my family and will always do so.
Anyhow no more family talk at all.
Our weekend here was lovely and we had a great Pride and a lot of fun and managed to do this on our own terms and our own things. Nice how it happens that way at a certain point in your life. We did not go to the Pride parade but did sit at home yesterday and have a lovely quiet gay day of our own. We went out last night and sat out front the house and watched the fireworks here in Toronto from the front street.
Today we stayed at home as well and just talked and watched movies, it is great to be over 40, gay and married and living in Toronto. We love it.
\Tonight to close off the long weekend we sat and visited with Jeff and Mara for a bit and talked about different things going on in our lives. Nice to have good friends who are so close in the neighborhood. Anyhow I hope you all had a great weekend and a lovely Pride and Canada Day. Tootles for now.
Anyhow no more family talk at all.
Our weekend here was lovely and we had a great Pride and a lot of fun and managed to do this on our own terms and our own things. Nice how it happens that way at a certain point in your life. We did not go to the Pride parade but did sit at home yesterday and have a lovely quiet gay day of our own. We went out last night and sat out front the house and watched the fireworks here in Toronto from the front street.
Today we stayed at home as well and just talked and watched movies, it is great to be over 40, gay and married and living in Toronto. We love it.
\Tonight to close off the long weekend we sat and visited with Jeff and Mara for a bit and talked about different things going on in our lives. Nice to have good friends who are so close in the neighborhood. Anyhow I hope you all had a great weekend and a lovely Pride and Canada Day. Tootles for now.
Family Not required nor desired
To my family or lack there of, I do not need you and you are not required to be a part of my life. I unlike others members of family can not afford to buy you what ever you want and do not care if you like me, want me in your life or anything else. To all of you who do not like me or want me around, this is fine, there will be no more posts about family ever again. This is my life and most of you are no longer ever welcome in any way shape or form, Please leave me alone.
Dear Adrienne, James, Michelle, Jay , Charlene, Kory, Darren, and anyone else. I do not require nor desire to associate with any of you at any point.
Understand this to all of you, we do not get to choose our family unfortunately and even if we did, I would have not chosen any of you.
My blog is of my personal life and freedom of speech is just that, I write the truth , not like any of you have ever even spoken it and to Doris AKA Adrienne, Good luck.
I must now get on with my life, so please fuck off if you do not like me or what I write. Thank You
Dear Adrienne, James, Michelle, Jay , Charlene, Kory, Darren, and anyone else. I do not require nor desire to associate with any of you at any point.
Understand this to all of you, we do not get to choose our family unfortunately and even if we did, I would have not chosen any of you.
My blog is of my personal life and freedom of speech is just that, I write the truth , not like any of you have ever even spoken it and to Doris AKA Adrienne, Good luck.
I must now get on with my life, so please fuck off if you do not like me or what I write. Thank You
More Renovations
Matt and I have been working hard on the house and decided to take the last 4 days off as we have not had a day off from renovations in the last few weeks. We have done so much and been so busy with work on the house, we have done drywall in the last few weeks, new plumbing for the new bathroom and tiled the new bathroom and put in the fixtures. I have planted the garden and everything is coming up fairly well, in another few weeks we will have some fresh vegetables. Will be so nice to have beans and tomatoes and everything from the garden that we grew ourselves.
Last week we got the oil tank out and Marc cut it in half for us, then our garbage guy Richard came by and picked up all of our scrap metal for us again. He has become our regular garbage guy and comes by for a pickup every couple weeks and charges us a great rate for this.
This week we have a lot to do as well, we are going to finish drywall and I am going to run some electrical for the bathroom and kitchen, sand the old staircase down and then sand the living room and dining room, get up the rest of the drywall in the dining room and hopefully finish dry walling the ceilings. So much to do! I am also learning to mud and tape drywall, I get better with every room I think.
Matt is going to finish tiling the bathroom this week and then tear out the old washroom. The we can take down the wall in the back room and finish our spare room as much as possible for now. We made an access panel to our attic last week and now I can get up there to run a light for the bedrooms and put the fan in the bathroom.
Did some gardening today and am relaxing a bit as am a bit sore from last week and lifting drywall above my head for hours, things are great here. I look forward to your comments and please when you leave them, don`t do it anonymous. Talk to you all soon, have a great week from your gaybors.
Last week we got the oil tank out and Marc cut it in half for us, then our garbage guy Richard came by and picked up all of our scrap metal for us again. He has become our regular garbage guy and comes by for a pickup every couple weeks and charges us a great rate for this.
This week we have a lot to do as well, we are going to finish drywall and I am going to run some electrical for the bathroom and kitchen, sand the old staircase down and then sand the living room and dining room, get up the rest of the drywall in the dining room and hopefully finish dry walling the ceilings. So much to do! I am also learning to mud and tape drywall, I get better with every room I think.
Matt is going to finish tiling the bathroom this week and then tear out the old washroom. The we can take down the wall in the back room and finish our spare room as much as possible for now. We made an access panel to our attic last week and now I can get up there to run a light for the bedrooms and put the fan in the bathroom.
Did some gardening today and am relaxing a bit as am a bit sore from last week and lifting drywall above my head for hours, things are great here. I look forward to your comments and please when you leave them, don`t do it anonymous. Talk to you all soon, have a great week from your gaybors.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Do things ever get easier
I am not sure if things ever get easier or if they just get different every day. Since Brad passed away, life has gotten very hard and very different every day. I have now been cut off by most of my family and think of this every day. Some I have cut out of my life and others have cut me out of theirs, either way it is done and I am going to have to learn to live with that for now. I am never sure whether or not it is right to just be done with people, though I should really learn to just trust my own instinct and go with it. This is what I am doing now. My sister Charlene, other wise known as the crack whore to me, has probably been the most hurtful in my life over the last 10 years. I tried to forgive her and get over the way I felt about her, my mistake. Never go back, just go forward and if you feel you need to be done with anyone in your life , no matter how much it hurts, just do it. I have done this with my Aunt Hazel, nephews Darren, Ryan, Shane and Kory now, My brother James and his wife Adrienne are also done with me and never welcome back in my life. My parents have decided to cut me out of theirs and choose Kory and Charlene over me, after all I have done, and as for james and his wife and kids, this was just time and meant to be.
It may seem harsh to people to know that I am now like this , but in order for me to live a happy and great life with my husband Matthew, I need to do this without the poisonous and venomous involvement of my family. The only family I now have anything to do with is Cheryl and Lorne and her grand daughters and Son David and daughter Michelle, My sister in law Patti who has been more of a sister to me over the last 20 something years than you can ever imagine. Also her 2 fabulous girls Alicia and Amanda. I also speak with my cousin Harold and his wife Roseanne. I have learned that family is not always who you share a bloodline with , but who is accepting of you and loves you for the true you with all their heart.
I have also learned that to have a healthy free life , I need to let go! As Matt is always telling me , let go, let god. Maybe someday I will.
I will always have to wonder if Brad were still here , would life be different, would the family get along and would we all be closer to each other, I honestly think not, no matter how much he would have loved that and always wanted that. After all look at the family we are speaking of , mine!
I have always and will always loved my family, but I can honestly say I really do not like them at all. Some are so phony, like Adrienne who is now trying to buy forgiveness after all that is what her and James do is buy their ways into your life. Not my style. They can say what ever the hell they want to about me, but I can honestly say this I am happier without all of them and just glad that I have decided to cut them out of my life. As I tell Matt all the time I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses, yes this is from a song, but seems to work pretty damn well for my life.
Also some of my old friends from the past are now also gone out my life, this is so weird and I am feel like life has changed so much in the last month, I am just waiting for a bit of normality, though I am not sure what normal is any more for me. I have to now figure it out and get it back for myself.
As for the family thing I am just tired of not being respected. I need not to mention anything more about old friends who I thought were friends or of family who is related but not required.
Have a great weekend and please remember we choose our friends so choose carefully and make sure they choose you back, unfortunately we do not get the same choice with family.
It may seem harsh to people to know that I am now like this , but in order for me to live a happy and great life with my husband Matthew, I need to do this without the poisonous and venomous involvement of my family. The only family I now have anything to do with is Cheryl and Lorne and her grand daughters and Son David and daughter Michelle, My sister in law Patti who has been more of a sister to me over the last 20 something years than you can ever imagine. Also her 2 fabulous girls Alicia and Amanda. I also speak with my cousin Harold and his wife Roseanne. I have learned that family is not always who you share a bloodline with , but who is accepting of you and loves you for the true you with all their heart.
I have also learned that to have a healthy free life , I need to let go! As Matt is always telling me , let go, let god. Maybe someday I will.
I will always have to wonder if Brad were still here , would life be different, would the family get along and would we all be closer to each other, I honestly think not, no matter how much he would have loved that and always wanted that. After all look at the family we are speaking of , mine!
I have always and will always loved my family, but I can honestly say I really do not like them at all. Some are so phony, like Adrienne who is now trying to buy forgiveness after all that is what her and James do is buy their ways into your life. Not my style. They can say what ever the hell they want to about me, but I can honestly say this I am happier without all of them and just glad that I have decided to cut them out of my life. As I tell Matt all the time I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses, yes this is from a song, but seems to work pretty damn well for my life.
Also some of my old friends from the past are now also gone out my life, this is so weird and I am feel like life has changed so much in the last month, I am just waiting for a bit of normality, though I am not sure what normal is any more for me. I have to now figure it out and get it back for myself.
As for the family thing I am just tired of not being respected. I need not to mention anything more about old friends who I thought were friends or of family who is related but not required.
Have a great weekend and please remember we choose our friends so choose carefully and make sure they choose you back, unfortunately we do not get the same choice with family.
Pride Weekend and Canada Day
We had a great weekend thus far and very little drama, Matt and I have had a great time and went out starting on Thursday with Wayne and Wayne. So Thursday was the start of our Pride and this is what happened to us that entire day. Matthew and I went downtown around 8pm and met Wayne for dinner at one of our favorite burger places Acme Burger on Church and after dinner the three of us met up with the other Wayne and went back to his place and drank Cosmos all night which was a great time for us. Marc texts us and lets us know he is back from Niagra Falls and has forgotten his key in the house and is locked out. An honest mistake that can happen to anyone! Matt told him to come downtown and get his key and get it cut. Marc came downtown and came to Waynes' apartment and started with his drama, picked up Matts key and stormed off like a 10 year old child. He said he was going to get it cut and tried he said, next thing we know he texts Matt again and said he is going home as he needs to charge his phone and have a nap. So now Matt has no key to our own house at this point, Texts back and forth from Marc to both of us. Next thing we know a couple hours later Marc shows back up to Waynes and slams the keys on the table and says to Matt I do not want to ruin your weekend, really, that is all I can honestly say. Anyways he then meets Wayne and I out at the elevator is is just rude to both of us as well. Well Marc you complained I did not treat your little friend you had over for dinner what you called appropriate in my own house, think about the way you treat people, like our neighbors who were over for drinks, my friend Wayne who was over for dinner and my other friend Wayne in his own home. If you are reading this Marc, 1 thing to say to you, get your head out of your ass and act your age, you are a 50 something year old man and you date people so much younger and go to circuit parties. Quit treating people like you are the only man on the planet, you are not!
Anyways that was Thursday and now Marc is gone to where ever else he can stay, I do want to thank Marc for his help, and just so you know it was muchly appreciated, your actions on Thursday however were not.
We left Waynes a little after 12 and went to the new bar Church on Church, use to be George Play. It was a good time and we got to see DJ Davinci.
Friday night Matt and I stayed home and Mara came over and brought us some beautiful Pride decorated cupcakes she had made us, so sweet and wonderful. Matt ate most of them and we had a nice quiet night. Last night we went down to Church Street again and met up with Wayne and watched the free Cory Hart concert , it was amazing and so great and just plain fun damn it. We then met up with Ann and Nancy and went for a walk up and down Church street and then back to Waynes for a drink. It was such a nice night. Then we got home and went over and had a couple drinks with Jeff and Mara. Love going over there and visiting, we actually have a lot in common with them and enjoy their company.
Today for Canada Day and Pride we are going to go down to the Pride Parader and then probably walk around and have a few drinks again, this is what Pride is for, fun for us together as a couple, I have to say this is the best Pride ever for Matt and I, we have had so much fun and Toronto has been perfect for us as a couple.
Well Happy Pride to you all and I hope you have an Amazing Canada Day.
Anyways that was Thursday and now Marc is gone to where ever else he can stay, I do want to thank Marc for his help, and just so you know it was muchly appreciated, your actions on Thursday however were not.
We left Waynes a little after 12 and went to the new bar Church on Church, use to be George Play. It was a good time and we got to see DJ Davinci.
Friday night Matt and I stayed home and Mara came over and brought us some beautiful Pride decorated cupcakes she had made us, so sweet and wonderful. Matt ate most of them and we had a nice quiet night. Last night we went down to Church Street again and met up with Wayne and watched the free Cory Hart concert , it was amazing and so great and just plain fun damn it. We then met up with Ann and Nancy and went for a walk up and down Church street and then back to Waynes for a drink. It was such a nice night. Then we got home and went over and had a couple drinks with Jeff and Mara. Love going over there and visiting, we actually have a lot in common with them and enjoy their company.
Today for Canada Day and Pride we are going to go down to the Pride Parader and then probably walk around and have a few drinks again, this is what Pride is for, fun for us together as a couple, I have to say this is the best Pride ever for Matt and I, we have had so much fun and Toronto has been perfect for us as a couple.
Well Happy Pride to you all and I hope you have an Amazing Canada Day.
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