Well Bradley, It has been almost 3 months since you left us and I have to say there is not a day gone by when I don't think of you in someway at some point. I hate the fact that i can not give you a call and hear your voice or ask for some advice on our renovations and just the way you use to tease me at times makes me smile to this day.
I have to add that I hope you are not disappointed in me as you watch down on all of us. I tried to reconnect with the family and by doing so I have only disconnected more. Yes a lot of this is my fault but it does take two to tango as they say.
I have not spoken to Mom and Dad since my birthday, also not spoken to Charlene or James since the day of your service and this is fine though it truly hurts a lot of the time and I miss it all. I was getting really close with your girls but at last Adrienne and I had a disagreement and all hell broke loose, that was the end of that. Cheryl and I have not talked in a while either and I just need to separate from all the family for a while.
Well Brad I know I am no angel, but just so you know I did try.
I can honestly say that I miss you a lot and really hate the fact that you are gone. When you first passed away I hated everything for the first little while and was always sad and just kept as busy as I possibly could. This did not work and then I cursed god and said if there was a god he would not do this to you and your family, especially Patti and the kids. I have never been a strong believer in god , and now with you taken from us so early I am really not a believer. That being said I do believe in other things and a higher power just not a god per say.
I really miss talking to you and somedays when I have a headache or am not well, I just need to hear a friendly voice, that would be you.I have place a time capsule in our walls with a picture of you, your obituary and things and stories from our childhood.
I am not sure I will get over the fact of loosing you and if things will ever get back to normal, though they are getting better just in a very different way. Things get different I guess. I sit here somedays and just cry for no reason at all, I just want you to know I miss you. I really wish I had the chance to say goodbye and had seen you more. Being far away somedays is just hard, but on the other hand, it is nice to be so far away from everyone.
Well Bradley, whereever you are I hope it is great and I miss you. I can't even imagine how hard this is for patti and the kids. Love you and miss you.
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