I am working 6 days this week and 4 of those are going to be 9 hour shifts. I can't believe it and in 2 weeks we have PRIDE, so that will be extremely busy for me as well. The girls and I are settling in quite well and they are getting use to me being back at work again, which is good for all of us. Next week I work morning at the restaurant and am so thankful for this. Yeah.
Life is treating me good here in Toronto, though it can be very lonely at times, and I still need to get used to the fact that I am single again and on my own. I am not sure that this time I will ever get used to it. I say this because it is not like Matt and I stopped loving each other, we are just in different places in our lives right at the moment and I hate that. I guess what I am saying is that life is just not fair sometimes and we just need to take it as it comes and get used to it and do what we need to, to survive!
Tonight is the final game of the Canucks and Bruins Final for the Stanley Cup and yes I will have that on as soon as I get home and am of course hoping that the Canucks win the cup. That will make history and be their first win ever.
Well time to get my ass in gear and take the girls out again before work. I have cleaned the apartment, brushed the girls teeth and hair and manged to get myself dressed as well. So in the end I am ready for whatever the day has in store for me now. You all have a great day and I will write again soon. Ta ta for now from your gay neighbor.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Back to work today
Okay so I have had my one day off and that is all I get this week unfortunately, but oh well. Yesterday was my one day off and filled with running around and getting stuff settled and done. I ran and got some of the specials at shoppers and then went to Canadian Tire and got some silicone caulking to put in the kitchen. Also went to Best Buy and bought myself a little treat, a new home media center to watch movies from my laptop. Love it.
Also ran and got my apartment insurance and then in the afternoon Wayne and I went and shopped on Parliment street looking for a bathroom carpet for me and we went to the one second hand store as I still need pots and pans and stuff like that. I have been lucky and got a few cuisenart fry pans but I definitely need some cooking pans. So far so good, everything is coming together and my apartment is starting to feel like a home for me and the girls. I still have to paint and am waiting for a rainy day so I can just get it done.
last night I watched the hockey game and was so disapointed in Vancouver and their lack of attempt to even play the game. My god it was pathetic in every way. They better get their shit together for Wednesday night, because that is the cup game and either way I am still proud of them, they are my team. I just prefer to see them win then loose.
Since leaving Vancouver, I have been working lots and taking part in a lot of extra activity on the side to keep my mind off not being with Matt. It is hard and no matter how much extra activities I have, I still think of him and how much I miss him. All I can do is keep busy and keep talking to Matthew as much as possible. Hearing his voice just makes me happy and brightens my day.
Working 12 to 9 every night this week and then 10 to 5 on the weekend so I will post when I am free, thanks for reading and talk to you soon. Love from your gay neighbor.
Also ran and got my apartment insurance and then in the afternoon Wayne and I went and shopped on Parliment street looking for a bathroom carpet for me and we went to the one second hand store as I still need pots and pans and stuff like that. I have been lucky and got a few cuisenart fry pans but I definitely need some cooking pans. So far so good, everything is coming together and my apartment is starting to feel like a home for me and the girls. I still have to paint and am waiting for a rainy day so I can just get it done.
last night I watched the hockey game and was so disapointed in Vancouver and their lack of attempt to even play the game. My god it was pathetic in every way. They better get their shit together for Wednesday night, because that is the cup game and either way I am still proud of them, they are my team. I just prefer to see them win then loose.
Since leaving Vancouver, I have been working lots and taking part in a lot of extra activity on the side to keep my mind off not being with Matt. It is hard and no matter how much extra activities I have, I still think of him and how much I miss him. All I can do is keep busy and keep talking to Matthew as much as possible. Hearing his voice just makes me happy and brightens my day.
Working 12 to 9 every night this week and then 10 to 5 on the weekend so I will post when I am free, thanks for reading and talk to you soon. Love from your gay neighbor.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wow, It has been 3 weeks here already
I just can't believe that I have been back in Toronto now for 3 weeks and am totally happy and sad at the same time. I am happy to be working and back in Toronto with friends, I am sad to be this away from Matthew and the cats. It is so nice when I get to talk to him on the phone and just hear his voice and what he has been up to. I am so glad that he is becoming so honest with me and that I have changed as well and am becoming so much more open and exploring more of myself and my life.
It feels really good for me and maybe Matt was right and I do need to be more open in many ways. I guess after so many shit relationships I just totally closed myself off to anything but what I thought was the ideal scenario. What an idiot am I and I guess sometimes you just have to explore the other side that you once thought was so wrong and yes even at 41, open your mind and broaden your bloody horizons and live life.
I work hard and am now learning to play hard as well and have a bit of fun and to not be so damn judge mental in what I do and who I do it with. Just a lesson that took me a long time to learn I guess.
There is not much else I miss in Vancouver except for Matt, his parents and the cats , as for everyone else they really weren't a large or important part of my life any more.
As for being back in Toronto, work here is going well and I am getting used to it again, have been working shorter shifts and getting back into the swing of things, well this week I have to work a lot of 9 hour days and that is cool with me as long as it gets busier at night and I can make more money. other than that , the weekends have been amazing and I am kept busy running my ass off for at least 6 hours and making some pretty decent coin. It is all relevant and at least I have some money now which is very nice as I can actually catch up on some of my bills and get come credit cards paid off and then safe for something I will eventually need in the future. Haven't figured that out yet, but man oh man it would sure be nice to travel a bit for once in my life. Well any how it is 11:30 here and I am going to go out for a bit. You all have a great night and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for reading.
It feels really good for me and maybe Matt was right and I do need to be more open in many ways. I guess after so many shit relationships I just totally closed myself off to anything but what I thought was the ideal scenario. What an idiot am I and I guess sometimes you just have to explore the other side that you once thought was so wrong and yes even at 41, open your mind and broaden your bloody horizons and live life.
I work hard and am now learning to play hard as well and have a bit of fun and to not be so damn judge mental in what I do and who I do it with. Just a lesson that took me a long time to learn I guess.
There is not much else I miss in Vancouver except for Matt, his parents and the cats , as for everyone else they really weren't a large or important part of my life any more.
As for being back in Toronto, work here is going well and I am getting used to it again, have been working shorter shifts and getting back into the swing of things, well this week I have to work a lot of 9 hour days and that is cool with me as long as it gets busier at night and I can make more money. other than that , the weekends have been amazing and I am kept busy running my ass off for at least 6 hours and making some pretty decent coin. It is all relevant and at least I have some money now which is very nice as I can actually catch up on some of my bills and get come credit cards paid off and then safe for something I will eventually need in the future. Haven't figured that out yet, but man oh man it would sure be nice to travel a bit for once in my life. Well any how it is 11:30 here and I am going to go out for a bit. You all have a great night and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Back to Work
Well it is back to work again today and I am still only working 5 to 6 hours a day which seems to be perfect and I am happy with that at the moment. Today I have a meeting after work and have to sit with Stella and do up a new schedule and stuff for the staff and also a cleaning list of what should be done and when and make sure it gets done properly.
People have gotten very lazy and just come in , want to make there money and leave, we work in a nice place and if we all share in the responsibilities of looking after it, it will be so much better. I love extra responsibilities at work and anyone who knows me knows that I love my work and I love to be kind of in charge. It is just me.
Well the apartment is coming along and it is now all clean and I am managing to get thing put away and set up the way that I want them. I have to start painting this week and then I will be totally set for us to live in our cool little bachelor pad. Yes I miss Matthew and the house and the cats, I miss them a great deal, but in life it is not always fair and we just had bad timing and thats all there is to it. Someday I am hoping that he will come here and be with us, of course in a bigger place, but together again would be amazing and I will wait for that as long as it takes. I truly believe and always will that he is my lobster.
Anyhow time to get shaved , showered and dressed n in my best casuals for work. One last note, what the hell Vancouver Canucks, and please you stupid refs open your eyes, so many things not called that were obvious penalties. Ridiculous.
People have gotten very lazy and just come in , want to make there money and leave, we work in a nice place and if we all share in the responsibilities of looking after it, it will be so much better. I love extra responsibilities at work and anyone who knows me knows that I love my work and I love to be kind of in charge. It is just me.
Well the apartment is coming along and it is now all clean and I am managing to get thing put away and set up the way that I want them. I have to start painting this week and then I will be totally set for us to live in our cool little bachelor pad. Yes I miss Matthew and the house and the cats, I miss them a great deal, but in life it is not always fair and we just had bad timing and thats all there is to it. Someday I am hoping that he will come here and be with us, of course in a bigger place, but together again would be amazing and I will wait for that as long as it takes. I truly believe and always will that he is my lobster.
Anyhow time to get shaved , showered and dressed n in my best casuals for work. One last note, what the hell Vancouver Canucks, and please you stupid refs open your eyes, so many things not called that were obvious penalties. Ridiculous.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Last Time
I wrote this on the plane and just wanted you all to see it.
My advice to all my friends and followers is to please never take life or what you have in your life for granted and please treat every moment as if it were your last. Also do not sweat the little things and remember that sometimes things are just out of our control and we can't change them and nor should we try. I say this mostly for me as this is something I really need to do for me from now on.I experienced a lot of my last times over the last few weeks and now have some regrets and need to try and move on from those. I just wish I would have known they were the last times for certain stuff.
Some of these are the last time I got to make love to Matthew in our bed, our last kiss and our last car ride together. The last time I got to look in to Matts eyes as he said he loved me, the last time I would see the cats play in the park, Sparky climbing that tree. The last time Rogue would cuddle up to Matthew on the couch as all 6 of us sat there watching TV.
These are a few of my last times and I wish I had known they were just that and maybe I would have appreciated them more and gone into all of them with more heart and enjoyment instead of sorrow. So just a word of advice from me to you , take life and hold onto it and cherish everything you have and when you say I love you , say it from the heart , mean it and go with it, as if it were the last time you get to say it to that person. Because you never know, it just may be the last time you do.
Don`t try to change things or people, because they are what they are and that we just have to accept. These are little things and really in the end not so important that they could ever define a relationship or the love between two people. I really need to remember this and I need to just accept people for who and what they are, I am not perfect as we all know.
Enjoy everyday for what it offers to you and where it can take you. I write all this for you to read , but for me to live by. I realize I need to change things in my life and the way I am, not the way others are.
Something I guess we should all do. Take care and I hope you enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading, Love to you all over the world from your Gay Neighbor.
My advice to all my friends and followers is to please never take life or what you have in your life for granted and please treat every moment as if it were your last. Also do not sweat the little things and remember that sometimes things are just out of our control and we can't change them and nor should we try. I say this mostly for me as this is something I really need to do for me from now on.I experienced a lot of my last times over the last few weeks and now have some regrets and need to try and move on from those. I just wish I would have known they were the last times for certain stuff.
Some of these are the last time I got to make love to Matthew in our bed, our last kiss and our last car ride together. The last time I got to look in to Matts eyes as he said he loved me, the last time I would see the cats play in the park, Sparky climbing that tree. The last time Rogue would cuddle up to Matthew on the couch as all 6 of us sat there watching TV.
These are a few of my last times and I wish I had known they were just that and maybe I would have appreciated them more and gone into all of them with more heart and enjoyment instead of sorrow. So just a word of advice from me to you , take life and hold onto it and cherish everything you have and when you say I love you , say it from the heart , mean it and go with it, as if it were the last time you get to say it to that person. Because you never know, it just may be the last time you do.
Don`t try to change things or people, because they are what they are and that we just have to accept. These are little things and really in the end not so important that they could ever define a relationship or the love between two people. I really need to remember this and I need to just accept people for who and what they are, I am not perfect as we all know.
Enjoy everyday for what it offers to you and where it can take you. I write all this for you to read , but for me to live by. I realize I need to change things in my life and the way I am, not the way others are.
Something I guess we should all do. Take care and I hope you enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading, Love to you all over the world from your Gay Neighbor.
Monday, June 6, 2011
all unpacked, finally
Well I am finally all unpacked and things are put away and I also actually had an entire day off which was so nice and I spent it with my girls and finishing stuff in the apartment, another stressful but at the same time fun day for the 3 of us. I don't think I opened a box that didn't have a broken thing in it. Crazy I know, whether it was a glass or a picture, something was broke in every box. Lids of all the plastic storage containers were smashed and even one of the legs of my desk was broken right off.
Worked yesterday and it was fairly quiet actually but I still did good and manged to make a bit of money. Got home around 5 and took the girls to the park. Also stopped at a garage sale on the way home and managed to get cutlery and I really needed it cause the plastic stuff I got from the restaurant just seemed to break all the time.
I also got a great deal on a couple bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, which was nice and I really love my vodka as you all know or at least you should if you know me at all.
Since I been gone I think I have talked to Matt every day either through text , phone or via email. No matter what happened , I still now and will always love him. I believe without a doubt that he is my lobster and though at times things were rough between us, it was still us and we were together and made it work for over 2 years. I so wanted him to talk me out of leaving right up until the day I left Vancouver and still wish in many ways that he would have. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and I will be forever sorry for anything I ever said to hurt him. Matt if you still read this know that I still love you and am hoping you may change your mind some day soon and join me heere in Toronto so we can start over and be back together.
The job here is okay and I am working 5 days a week , usually a 5 to 6 hour day which is perfect for me right now and don't want to really get back to working the 8 to 12 hour days any more. My boss is really great to me and always has been. I am thankful to work for him and am also glad to be back here in Toronto amongst my friends. Live here is alright and the apartment is small but we are doing okay. Anyways enough for now. Have a great night and this is your gay neighbor coming to you from Toronto Ontario.
Worked yesterday and it was fairly quiet actually but I still did good and manged to make a bit of money. Got home around 5 and took the girls to the park. Also stopped at a garage sale on the way home and managed to get cutlery and I really needed it cause the plastic stuff I got from the restaurant just seemed to break all the time.
I also got a great deal on a couple bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, which was nice and I really love my vodka as you all know or at least you should if you know me at all.
Since I been gone I think I have talked to Matt every day either through text , phone or via email. No matter what happened , I still now and will always love him. I believe without a doubt that he is my lobster and though at times things were rough between us, it was still us and we were together and made it work for over 2 years. I so wanted him to talk me out of leaving right up until the day I left Vancouver and still wish in many ways that he would have. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and I will be forever sorry for anything I ever said to hurt him. Matt if you still read this know that I still love you and am hoping you may change your mind some day soon and join me heere in Toronto so we can start over and be back together.
The job here is okay and I am working 5 days a week , usually a 5 to 6 hour day which is perfect for me right now and don't want to really get back to working the 8 to 12 hour days any more. My boss is really great to me and always has been. I am thankful to work for him and am also glad to be back here in Toronto amongst my friends. Live here is alright and the apartment is small but we are doing okay. Anyways enough for now. Have a great night and this is your gay neighbor coming to you from Toronto Ontario.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Been a while
Well it has been a while since I have written anything and I have really gotten off track, my life has taken so many changes in the last month and I am starting to get organized and will be writing more here very soon. The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of change for me the girls and Matt and the cats.
The girls and I flew out here to Toronto on the 21st of May and have been busy trying to settle in and with starting work , the new apartment and appointments it has been well say the least a little crazy. Matt and the cats are in Vancouver and we have separated. This makes nit hard as well because I still miss him a great deal and really hate being alone and having no one to hold me anymore.
So lets catch you up. I got to Vancouver on the 21st, I stayed with one friend and the girls stayed at another friends, got the new apartment on June 1st and spent a day cleaning and stuff here. my belongings all arrived from Vancouver non June 2nd and let me just say, not all in the best shape! Rogers also came on June 2nd and hooked up internet and cable and phone, worst hook up guy ever. All this time working as well. Yesterday was my birthday and I am now 41 years old. So that is the last couple weeks in a nut shell. Will go into more detail soon. But for now off to work. Have a great day and thanks for reading.
The girls and I flew out here to Toronto on the 21st of May and have been busy trying to settle in and with starting work , the new apartment and appointments it has been well say the least a little crazy. Matt and the cats are in Vancouver and we have separated. This makes nit hard as well because I still miss him a great deal and really hate being alone and having no one to hold me anymore.
So lets catch you up. I got to Vancouver on the 21st, I stayed with one friend and the girls stayed at another friends, got the new apartment on June 1st and spent a day cleaning and stuff here. my belongings all arrived from Vancouver non June 2nd and let me just say, not all in the best shape! Rogers also came on June 2nd and hooked up internet and cable and phone, worst hook up guy ever. All this time working as well. Yesterday was my birthday and I am now 41 years old. So that is the last couple weeks in a nut shell. Will go into more detail soon. But for now off to work. Have a great day and thanks for reading.
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