It is Tuesday and almost the end of June, I have now been in Toronto for just over 5 weeks and am enjoying myself , maybe a little too much, but I must say I do love it and I have changed a great deal. I never thought that being 41 could be so much fun, but my god it sure as hell is. Just a lesson to everyone , life does get better after 40 and I am telling you if you said that to me anytime in the past I would have laughed at you for hours. Well who is laughing now, me and I try to everyday, just because I am having fun. My job is just that a job and I go to work and then come home and am done after that, instead of calls at all hours and having to open and close a Restaurant, I just get to go to work and I like that. I found it hard for the first few weeks not to act like a manager, but now I am realizing that it is nice to go in , make my money and just leave, how perfect is that.
Today I went to work and discovered that they had changed the schedule and not let me know, so I went and had a drink with the one cook and sat on the patio at another restaurant for a bit, so relaxing, then I stopped at Out on the Street and bought myself a new toy, fun, fun. I love that store. On the way home I got caught in a total down pour of rain and was totally soaked when I got home, but oh well that is life.
Matt arrives early in the morning and I am going to get up at 4:30am and go to the airport and pick him up and then come home and relax for a bit. I work at 4pm now tomorrow, but that is cool. It is only till 8:30pm and I am happy cause today I can just relax and do what ever comes my way. Anyhow, time for dinner. You all have a great night, love your gay neighbor.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Pride week in Toronto
Well Pride kicked off on Friday of last week and is now here until the 4th of July with shows and the parade next Sunday and men , men , men, all over the city. Here for a short time and a lot of fun, and from all over the world. I love Pride and all the people that come to visit and all the interesting ones that I get to meet every year. It is so much fun and so busy.
This year will be a great Pride here in Toronto, because I am working and Matthew will be here for 10 days starting on Wednesday and here until the 11th of July. I honestly can't wait to see him. It feels like forever ago since we were together. I have so much planned and am so excited to show him the Toronto that I love, not the Toronto that he has seen before, but the one that I see every day and fell in love with years ago.
I finished painting the apartment today and everything is now done in here, the cabinets are all painted, I put in new counter tops and new faucets in the kitchen, also a new shower head in ht bathroom and painted the entire living space that I love. I am really truly now enjoying living in my tiny apartment and actually getting quite used to it again. I never thought that I could get used to apartment living again and not having the house and the yard, but all and all it is okay and we are happy here and I don't get woken up by noisy tenants who are having their little parties at 4am. Also a lot less space to clean and a lot less stuff or me to do. Anyhow I really do miss the house and all the things it offered but also not all the things that came with it as well.
Any how Happy Pride week Toronto and I will see you all soon. Drop by for breakfast some day soon. I am there 5 days a week and love to see some old friends. Take care and ta ta for now.
This year will be a great Pride here in Toronto, because I am working and Matthew will be here for 10 days starting on Wednesday and here until the 11th of July. I honestly can't wait to see him. It feels like forever ago since we were together. I have so much planned and am so excited to show him the Toronto that I love, not the Toronto that he has seen before, but the one that I see every day and fell in love with years ago.
I finished painting the apartment today and everything is now done in here, the cabinets are all painted, I put in new counter tops and new faucets in the kitchen, also a new shower head in ht bathroom and painted the entire living space that I love. I am really truly now enjoying living in my tiny apartment and actually getting quite used to it again. I never thought that I could get used to apartment living again and not having the house and the yard, but all and all it is okay and we are happy here and I don't get woken up by noisy tenants who are having their little parties at 4am. Also a lot less space to clean and a lot less stuff or me to do. Anyhow I really do miss the house and all the things it offered but also not all the things that came with it as well.
Any how Happy Pride week Toronto and I will see you all soon. Drop by for breakfast some day soon. I am there 5 days a week and love to see some old friends. Take care and ta ta for now.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wednesday
Well we are back at Wednesday which means many thing to me, it is hump day, middle of the week and I am back to work, days off are done and I am in at 4pm for my short shitty shift. Things are going quite well at the job though and I am all and all very happy with everything here thus far. The dogs are doing great and they are getting use to living in a small apartment again.
So far today I have ran to Canadian Tire and picked up a couple things for the apartment, I really should start making a list so when I move out of here I can take it all with me, I will any ways, after all i am the one making improvements, no damn way I am leaving that for someone else if I ever relocate.
Yesterday was a crazy busy day and I spent most of it running around and doing stuff that just needed to be done, I went shopping with Wayne for a bit and we hit up all the old haunts and second hand stores. I made a couple really good scores, like some Cuisenart Frying Pans for $4 a piece. Love it when I get great deals, as I am extremely thrifty. I also got a gorgeous remote control center, done in black leather, and a really hot red leather basket, I love these things, they create great storage and look extremely hot.
Today on the way back from Canadian Tire, I stopped at Out on the Street , a great little gay store here in Toronto and got myself a pair of really nice designer underwear, Deisel, which were 50% off which I love and they look so hot, will send some of you a picture later, after all it is underwear, no different than a swimsuit, right?
Just relaxing here on the couch at the moment and going to work here soon, Have to take the girls out again before I go, just to avoid any little accidents that could happen, not that they have yet. Although I am sure last week it was really close with me being gone about 9 and 1/2 hours a day for 4 days straight and then 6 and 1/2 on the weekends. After being out so much in the last 2 years in between Matt and I walking them all the time in Vancouver.
Tonight if it is cool after work I may paint a little more , but you never know. I may do what I did last night too which was much more fun and I will keep as my little secret for now. Anyhow , hope you all have a great day and I will talk with you tomorrow. Thanks for reading and love from your Gay Neighbor!
So far today I have ran to Canadian Tire and picked up a couple things for the apartment, I really should start making a list so when I move out of here I can take it all with me, I will any ways, after all i am the one making improvements, no damn way I am leaving that for someone else if I ever relocate.
Yesterday was a crazy busy day and I spent most of it running around and doing stuff that just needed to be done, I went shopping with Wayne for a bit and we hit up all the old haunts and second hand stores. I made a couple really good scores, like some Cuisenart Frying Pans for $4 a piece. Love it when I get great deals, as I am extremely thrifty. I also got a gorgeous remote control center, done in black leather, and a really hot red leather basket, I love these things, they create great storage and look extremely hot.
Today on the way back from Canadian Tire, I stopped at Out on the Street , a great little gay store here in Toronto and got myself a pair of really nice designer underwear, Deisel, which were 50% off which I love and they look so hot, will send some of you a picture later, after all it is underwear, no different than a swimsuit, right?
Just relaxing here on the couch at the moment and going to work here soon, Have to take the girls out again before I go, just to avoid any little accidents that could happen, not that they have yet. Although I am sure last week it was really close with me being gone about 9 and 1/2 hours a day for 4 days straight and then 6 and 1/2 on the weekends. After being out so much in the last 2 years in between Matt and I walking them all the time in Vancouver.
Tonight if it is cool after work I may paint a little more , but you never know. I may do what I did last night too which was much more fun and I will keep as my little secret for now. Anyhow , hope you all have a great day and I will talk with you tomorrow. Thanks for reading and love from your Gay Neighbor!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
painting
.
After the girls and I came back in we organized , washed and put everything away where it belongs for now, then the three of us had our afternoon nap and slept for an hour. Love napping with my girls, gives me someone to cuddle with and they are so cute, they get right under the covers and just cuddle right in, makes me not feel so alone.
After our lovely nap, I made dinner and then commenced to start painting. It was fun and so hot, my god , all I got done was the hallway and one wall in the living room and by the time I was done I was sweating bullets. But so far so good, I painted white which will come as a shock to anyone who actually knows me at all, they will know I am not a white paint person but love my colors and the brighter and darker the better.
Then I chatted with Matthew on msn and talked with mom on the phone. Both of which bring me a great joy and a huge smile on a daily basis. Matt and I talk daily on msn and have what is called a video call so we can see each other as well. It is so nice and he is looking really good, though he always has to me!.
Working mostly days this week and am so happy about that. The only night I work this week is tomorrow night and the I work all mornings for the next 4 days. This brings joy and hopefully more money to me in every way. Have appointments all day today although they are sporadic and I will have times in between to run home and take the girls out for their long needed walks that they love so much. PRIDE starts here on Friday and then the big weekend is the July long weekend and I know it is going to be crazy and there will be no rest for the weekend at all, not a problem, I love all the people that come in to the city for PRIDE and couldn't imagine not working it.
Any how time for me to get my ass in gear, dressed and out the door. Hope you all have a great day. Love from your gay neighbor.
After the girls and I came back in we organized , washed and put everything away where it belongs for now, then the three of us had our afternoon nap and slept for an hour. Love napping with my girls, gives me someone to cuddle with and they are so cute, they get right under the covers and just cuddle right in, makes me not feel so alone.
After our lovely nap, I made dinner and then commenced to start painting. It was fun and so hot, my god , all I got done was the hallway and one wall in the living room and by the time I was done I was sweating bullets. But so far so good, I painted white which will come as a shock to anyone who actually knows me at all, they will know I am not a white paint person but love my colors and the brighter and darker the better.
Then I chatted with Matthew on msn and talked with mom on the phone. Both of which bring me a great joy and a huge smile on a daily basis. Matt and I talk daily on msn and have what is called a video call so we can see each other as well. It is so nice and he is looking really good, though he always has to me!.
Working mostly days this week and am so happy about that. The only night I work this week is tomorrow night and the I work all mornings for the next 4 days. This brings joy and hopefully more money to me in every way. Have appointments all day today although they are sporadic and I will have times in between to run home and take the girls out for their long needed walks that they love so much. PRIDE starts here on Friday and then the big weekend is the July long weekend and I know it is going to be crazy and there will be no rest for the weekend at all, not a problem, I love all the people that come in to the city for PRIDE and couldn't imagine not working it.
Any how time for me to get my ass in gear, dressed and out the door. Hope you all have a great day. Love from your gay neighbor.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Dreams and Reality
Well I have dreams and then I have my reality. The reality is I live in a small apartment in Toronto with my 2 girls and work an awful lot to pay the bills and get buy. And quite honestly I really don't mind doing all this as it is just part of life or at least my life, though I truly wish I was not here alone and without the person that I honestly and totally love. It is hard and when I get to talk to Matthew it just brings a smile on my face that can not be replaced with anything else in the world. If I have a bad day at all , it is totally brightened when I see a text message from him in the morning or a chat with him on msn.No matter anything that has happened with us in the past at all, I truly believe that he is my lobster and that we are destined to be together and I know that we still love each other a great deal. It is just that right at the moment life has taken us both on a different path. I refuse to give up and will fight for us until I know there is no end to doing so. When they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it is true. I believe I am happier here in Toronto, because I have a good job and friends that get me through my days, it is my nights that I am alone and I realize the one thing I am missing here is Matt. Not an hour goes by when I don't think of him and wish he were here with me. That is my dream and I refuse to let go of that because deep in my heart I know some day soon we will be together again and we will truly have everything if we are a couple.
I had a dream the other night and dreamed Matt was next to me in bed, I reached over to cuddle and it was my little dog Storm and I grabbed her and she let out a little yelp, poor thing! I also have had a recurring dream of my marriage and every time I kiss my groom, it is always Matthew. I will hold on to that and believe in the best in life. I need to be more positive and love life more and that is what I am now doing. Anyhow I hope that anyone in love realizes what you have, hold onto it and work through your problems and move on from there. If you dread an argument , it will probably happen. The more you concentrate on the negative, the more likely it is to happen. Just saying.
Anyhow off to work soon, have a great day and to all the fathers out there , have a Happy Fathers Day.
I had a dream the other night and dreamed Matt was next to me in bed, I reached over to cuddle and it was my little dog Storm and I grabbed her and she let out a little yelp, poor thing! I also have had a recurring dream of my marriage and every time I kiss my groom, it is always Matthew. I will hold on to that and believe in the best in life. I need to be more positive and love life more and that is what I am now doing. Anyhow I hope that anyone in love realizes what you have, hold onto it and work through your problems and move on from there. If you dread an argument , it will probably happen. The more you concentrate on the negative, the more likely it is to happen. Just saying.
Anyhow off to work soon, have a great day and to all the fathers out there , have a Happy Fathers Day.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday
Well first off lets talk about that lack of attempt by the Vancouver Canucks to take home the Stanley Cup.
What the hell boys? Did you just give up after game 6? I just have to ask, because last night, you didn't even look like you were trying to win. I actually left work early and got home to watch what I was hoping to be a great game, it wasn't! Now lets talk about these supposed fans who started fires, destroyed public property and looted stuff from innocent people and businesses, what the hell are you thinking? So we lost the game , the cup, does this mean you have to destroy the city and cars and light fires? I was shocked and horrified by your behavior, shame on you Vancouver!
Now that is my rant for the day.
I am doing alright here in Vancouver and realize that I now have a regret in my life and want to share that with you. I have never had any regrets but this one I realize I do have. My regret is simple and it is that I did not listen to people, especially Matthew, that I should be more open in my life and in all aspects of my life and realize the difference between a few things. I should also not be so damn judge mental about things and just accept what people do and try to go with the flow. I am trying this now and realizing it is making me a happier me. So I will say that you are all right and yes I was wrong this time. Perhaps if I had changed a little of my thinking, maybe I would still be with Matthew and not on my own, perhaps?
Anyhow I have another day at work, day number 3, 3 more to go and then I get a day off. I can't wait for that! These 9 hour shifts this week are actually killing me and so tiring, but at least I will have a good pay check at the end of the month, for rent and all my bills. Still have a couple things that I| need to buy and will get soon. I need either a microwave or a convection toaster oven for the apartment here. I am not sure and am quite torn on which to purchase but I will let you know when I get it done and decide.
Day number 3 of the Canada Post lock out and day number 2 of the Air Canada strike. Not that I care about Air Canada, they suck any ways and need to just take a lesson from westjet or some one else who knows what customer service is. Just my opinion.
What the hell boys? Did you just give up after game 6? I just have to ask, because last night, you didn't even look like you were trying to win. I actually left work early and got home to watch what I was hoping to be a great game, it wasn't! Now lets talk about these supposed fans who started fires, destroyed public property and looted stuff from innocent people and businesses, what the hell are you thinking? So we lost the game , the cup, does this mean you have to destroy the city and cars and light fires? I was shocked and horrified by your behavior, shame on you Vancouver!
Now that is my rant for the day.
I am doing alright here in Vancouver and realize that I now have a regret in my life and want to share that with you. I have never had any regrets but this one I realize I do have. My regret is simple and it is that I did not listen to people, especially Matthew, that I should be more open in my life and in all aspects of my life and realize the difference between a few things. I should also not be so damn judge mental about things and just accept what people do and try to go with the flow. I am trying this now and realizing it is making me a happier me. So I will say that you are all right and yes I was wrong this time. Perhaps if I had changed a little of my thinking, maybe I would still be with Matthew and not on my own, perhaps?
Anyhow I have another day at work, day number 3, 3 more to go and then I get a day off. I can't wait for that! These 9 hour shifts this week are actually killing me and so tiring, but at least I will have a good pay check at the end of the month, for rent and all my bills. Still have a couple things that I| need to buy and will get soon. I need either a microwave or a convection toaster oven for the apartment here. I am not sure and am quite torn on which to purchase but I will let you know when I get it done and decide.
Day number 3 of the Canada Post lock out and day number 2 of the Air Canada strike. Not that I care about Air Canada, they suck any ways and need to just take a lesson from westjet or some one else who knows what customer service is. Just my opinion.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
This is gonna be a long week
I am working 6 days this week and 4 of those are going to be 9 hour shifts. I can't believe it and in 2 weeks we have PRIDE, so that will be extremely busy for me as well. The girls and I are settling in quite well and they are getting use to me being back at work again, which is good for all of us. Next week I work morning at the restaurant and am so thankful for this. Yeah.
Life is treating me good here in Toronto, though it can be very lonely at times, and I still need to get used to the fact that I am single again and on my own. I am not sure that this time I will ever get used to it. I say this because it is not like Matt and I stopped loving each other, we are just in different places in our lives right at the moment and I hate that. I guess what I am saying is that life is just not fair sometimes and we just need to take it as it comes and get used to it and do what we need to, to survive!
Tonight is the final game of the Canucks and Bruins Final for the Stanley Cup and yes I will have that on as soon as I get home and am of course hoping that the Canucks win the cup. That will make history and be their first win ever.
Well time to get my ass in gear and take the girls out again before work. I have cleaned the apartment, brushed the girls teeth and hair and manged to get myself dressed as well. So in the end I am ready for whatever the day has in store for me now. You all have a great day and I will write again soon. Ta ta for now from your gay neighbor.
Life is treating me good here in Toronto, though it can be very lonely at times, and I still need to get used to the fact that I am single again and on my own. I am not sure that this time I will ever get used to it. I say this because it is not like Matt and I stopped loving each other, we are just in different places in our lives right at the moment and I hate that. I guess what I am saying is that life is just not fair sometimes and we just need to take it as it comes and get used to it and do what we need to, to survive!
Tonight is the final game of the Canucks and Bruins Final for the Stanley Cup and yes I will have that on as soon as I get home and am of course hoping that the Canucks win the cup. That will make history and be their first win ever.
Well time to get my ass in gear and take the girls out again before work. I have cleaned the apartment, brushed the girls teeth and hair and manged to get myself dressed as well. So in the end I am ready for whatever the day has in store for me now. You all have a great day and I will write again soon. Ta ta for now from your gay neighbor.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Back to work today
Okay so I have had my one day off and that is all I get this week unfortunately, but oh well. Yesterday was my one day off and filled with running around and getting stuff settled and done. I ran and got some of the specials at shoppers and then went to Canadian Tire and got some silicone caulking to put in the kitchen. Also went to Best Buy and bought myself a little treat, a new home media center to watch movies from my laptop. Love it.
Also ran and got my apartment insurance and then in the afternoon Wayne and I went and shopped on Parliment street looking for a bathroom carpet for me and we went to the one second hand store as I still need pots and pans and stuff like that. I have been lucky and got a few cuisenart fry pans but I definitely need some cooking pans. So far so good, everything is coming together and my apartment is starting to feel like a home for me and the girls. I still have to paint and am waiting for a rainy day so I can just get it done.
last night I watched the hockey game and was so disapointed in Vancouver and their lack of attempt to even play the game. My god it was pathetic in every way. They better get their shit together for Wednesday night, because that is the cup game and either way I am still proud of them, they are my team. I just prefer to see them win then loose.
Since leaving Vancouver, I have been working lots and taking part in a lot of extra activity on the side to keep my mind off not being with Matt. It is hard and no matter how much extra activities I have, I still think of him and how much I miss him. All I can do is keep busy and keep talking to Matthew as much as possible. Hearing his voice just makes me happy and brightens my day.
Working 12 to 9 every night this week and then 10 to 5 on the weekend so I will post when I am free, thanks for reading and talk to you soon. Love from your gay neighbor.
Also ran and got my apartment insurance and then in the afternoon Wayne and I went and shopped on Parliment street looking for a bathroom carpet for me and we went to the one second hand store as I still need pots and pans and stuff like that. I have been lucky and got a few cuisenart fry pans but I definitely need some cooking pans. So far so good, everything is coming together and my apartment is starting to feel like a home for me and the girls. I still have to paint and am waiting for a rainy day so I can just get it done.
last night I watched the hockey game and was so disapointed in Vancouver and their lack of attempt to even play the game. My god it was pathetic in every way. They better get their shit together for Wednesday night, because that is the cup game and either way I am still proud of them, they are my team. I just prefer to see them win then loose.
Since leaving Vancouver, I have been working lots and taking part in a lot of extra activity on the side to keep my mind off not being with Matt. It is hard and no matter how much extra activities I have, I still think of him and how much I miss him. All I can do is keep busy and keep talking to Matthew as much as possible. Hearing his voice just makes me happy and brightens my day.
Working 12 to 9 every night this week and then 10 to 5 on the weekend so I will post when I am free, thanks for reading and talk to you soon. Love from your gay neighbor.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wow, It has been 3 weeks here already
I just can't believe that I have been back in Toronto now for 3 weeks and am totally happy and sad at the same time. I am happy to be working and back in Toronto with friends, I am sad to be this away from Matthew and the cats. It is so nice when I get to talk to him on the phone and just hear his voice and what he has been up to. I am so glad that he is becoming so honest with me and that I have changed as well and am becoming so much more open and exploring more of myself and my life.
It feels really good for me and maybe Matt was right and I do need to be more open in many ways. I guess after so many shit relationships I just totally closed myself off to anything but what I thought was the ideal scenario. What an idiot am I and I guess sometimes you just have to explore the other side that you once thought was so wrong and yes even at 41, open your mind and broaden your bloody horizons and live life.
I work hard and am now learning to play hard as well and have a bit of fun and to not be so damn judge mental in what I do and who I do it with. Just a lesson that took me a long time to learn I guess.
There is not much else I miss in Vancouver except for Matt, his parents and the cats , as for everyone else they really weren't a large or important part of my life any more.
As for being back in Toronto, work here is going well and I am getting used to it again, have been working shorter shifts and getting back into the swing of things, well this week I have to work a lot of 9 hour days and that is cool with me as long as it gets busier at night and I can make more money. other than that , the weekends have been amazing and I am kept busy running my ass off for at least 6 hours and making some pretty decent coin. It is all relevant and at least I have some money now which is very nice as I can actually catch up on some of my bills and get come credit cards paid off and then safe for something I will eventually need in the future. Haven't figured that out yet, but man oh man it would sure be nice to travel a bit for once in my life. Well any how it is 11:30 here and I am going to go out for a bit. You all have a great night and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for reading.
It feels really good for me and maybe Matt was right and I do need to be more open in many ways. I guess after so many shit relationships I just totally closed myself off to anything but what I thought was the ideal scenario. What an idiot am I and I guess sometimes you just have to explore the other side that you once thought was so wrong and yes even at 41, open your mind and broaden your bloody horizons and live life.
I work hard and am now learning to play hard as well and have a bit of fun and to not be so damn judge mental in what I do and who I do it with. Just a lesson that took me a long time to learn I guess.
There is not much else I miss in Vancouver except for Matt, his parents and the cats , as for everyone else they really weren't a large or important part of my life any more.
As for being back in Toronto, work here is going well and I am getting used to it again, have been working shorter shifts and getting back into the swing of things, well this week I have to work a lot of 9 hour days and that is cool with me as long as it gets busier at night and I can make more money. other than that , the weekends have been amazing and I am kept busy running my ass off for at least 6 hours and making some pretty decent coin. It is all relevant and at least I have some money now which is very nice as I can actually catch up on some of my bills and get come credit cards paid off and then safe for something I will eventually need in the future. Haven't figured that out yet, but man oh man it would sure be nice to travel a bit for once in my life. Well any how it is 11:30 here and I am going to go out for a bit. You all have a great night and I will talk to you soon. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Back to Work
Well it is back to work again today and I am still only working 5 to 6 hours a day which seems to be perfect and I am happy with that at the moment. Today I have a meeting after work and have to sit with Stella and do up a new schedule and stuff for the staff and also a cleaning list of what should be done and when and make sure it gets done properly.
People have gotten very lazy and just come in , want to make there money and leave, we work in a nice place and if we all share in the responsibilities of looking after it, it will be so much better. I love extra responsibilities at work and anyone who knows me knows that I love my work and I love to be kind of in charge. It is just me.
Well the apartment is coming along and it is now all clean and I am managing to get thing put away and set up the way that I want them. I have to start painting this week and then I will be totally set for us to live in our cool little bachelor pad. Yes I miss Matthew and the house and the cats, I miss them a great deal, but in life it is not always fair and we just had bad timing and thats all there is to it. Someday I am hoping that he will come here and be with us, of course in a bigger place, but together again would be amazing and I will wait for that as long as it takes. I truly believe and always will that he is my lobster.
Anyhow time to get shaved , showered and dressed n in my best casuals for work. One last note, what the hell Vancouver Canucks, and please you stupid refs open your eyes, so many things not called that were obvious penalties. Ridiculous.
People have gotten very lazy and just come in , want to make there money and leave, we work in a nice place and if we all share in the responsibilities of looking after it, it will be so much better. I love extra responsibilities at work and anyone who knows me knows that I love my work and I love to be kind of in charge. It is just me.
Well the apartment is coming along and it is now all clean and I am managing to get thing put away and set up the way that I want them. I have to start painting this week and then I will be totally set for us to live in our cool little bachelor pad. Yes I miss Matthew and the house and the cats, I miss them a great deal, but in life it is not always fair and we just had bad timing and thats all there is to it. Someday I am hoping that he will come here and be with us, of course in a bigger place, but together again would be amazing and I will wait for that as long as it takes. I truly believe and always will that he is my lobster.
Anyhow time to get shaved , showered and dressed n in my best casuals for work. One last note, what the hell Vancouver Canucks, and please you stupid refs open your eyes, so many things not called that were obvious penalties. Ridiculous.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Last Time
I wrote this on the plane and just wanted you all to see it.
My advice to all my friends and followers is to please never take life or what you have in your life for granted and please treat every moment as if it were your last. Also do not sweat the little things and remember that sometimes things are just out of our control and we can't change them and nor should we try. I say this mostly for me as this is something I really need to do for me from now on.I experienced a lot of my last times over the last few weeks and now have some regrets and need to try and move on from those. I just wish I would have known they were the last times for certain stuff.
Some of these are the last time I got to make love to Matthew in our bed, our last kiss and our last car ride together. The last time I got to look in to Matts eyes as he said he loved me, the last time I would see the cats play in the park, Sparky climbing that tree. The last time Rogue would cuddle up to Matthew on the couch as all 6 of us sat there watching TV.
These are a few of my last times and I wish I had known they were just that and maybe I would have appreciated them more and gone into all of them with more heart and enjoyment instead of sorrow. So just a word of advice from me to you , take life and hold onto it and cherish everything you have and when you say I love you , say it from the heart , mean it and go with it, as if it were the last time you get to say it to that person. Because you never know, it just may be the last time you do.
Don`t try to change things or people, because they are what they are and that we just have to accept. These are little things and really in the end not so important that they could ever define a relationship or the love between two people. I really need to remember this and I need to just accept people for who and what they are, I am not perfect as we all know.
Enjoy everyday for what it offers to you and where it can take you. I write all this for you to read , but for me to live by. I realize I need to change things in my life and the way I am, not the way others are.
Something I guess we should all do. Take care and I hope you enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading, Love to you all over the world from your Gay Neighbor.
My advice to all my friends and followers is to please never take life or what you have in your life for granted and please treat every moment as if it were your last. Also do not sweat the little things and remember that sometimes things are just out of our control and we can't change them and nor should we try. I say this mostly for me as this is something I really need to do for me from now on.I experienced a lot of my last times over the last few weeks and now have some regrets and need to try and move on from those. I just wish I would have known they were the last times for certain stuff.
Some of these are the last time I got to make love to Matthew in our bed, our last kiss and our last car ride together. The last time I got to look in to Matts eyes as he said he loved me, the last time I would see the cats play in the park, Sparky climbing that tree. The last time Rogue would cuddle up to Matthew on the couch as all 6 of us sat there watching TV.
These are a few of my last times and I wish I had known they were just that and maybe I would have appreciated them more and gone into all of them with more heart and enjoyment instead of sorrow. So just a word of advice from me to you , take life and hold onto it and cherish everything you have and when you say I love you , say it from the heart , mean it and go with it, as if it were the last time you get to say it to that person. Because you never know, it just may be the last time you do.
Don`t try to change things or people, because they are what they are and that we just have to accept. These are little things and really in the end not so important that they could ever define a relationship or the love between two people. I really need to remember this and I need to just accept people for who and what they are, I am not perfect as we all know.
Enjoy everyday for what it offers to you and where it can take you. I write all this for you to read , but for me to live by. I realize I need to change things in my life and the way I am, not the way others are.
Something I guess we should all do. Take care and I hope you enjoy my blog. Thanks for reading, Love to you all over the world from your Gay Neighbor.
Monday, June 6, 2011
all unpacked, finally
Well I am finally all unpacked and things are put away and I also actually had an entire day off which was so nice and I spent it with my girls and finishing stuff in the apartment, another stressful but at the same time fun day for the 3 of us. I don't think I opened a box that didn't have a broken thing in it. Crazy I know, whether it was a glass or a picture, something was broke in every box. Lids of all the plastic storage containers were smashed and even one of the legs of my desk was broken right off.
Worked yesterday and it was fairly quiet actually but I still did good and manged to make a bit of money. Got home around 5 and took the girls to the park. Also stopped at a garage sale on the way home and managed to get cutlery and I really needed it cause the plastic stuff I got from the restaurant just seemed to break all the time.
I also got a great deal on a couple bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, which was nice and I really love my vodka as you all know or at least you should if you know me at all.
Since I been gone I think I have talked to Matt every day either through text , phone or via email. No matter what happened , I still now and will always love him. I believe without a doubt that he is my lobster and though at times things were rough between us, it was still us and we were together and made it work for over 2 years. I so wanted him to talk me out of leaving right up until the day I left Vancouver and still wish in many ways that he would have. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and I will be forever sorry for anything I ever said to hurt him. Matt if you still read this know that I still love you and am hoping you may change your mind some day soon and join me heere in Toronto so we can start over and be back together.
The job here is okay and I am working 5 days a week , usually a 5 to 6 hour day which is perfect for me right now and don't want to really get back to working the 8 to 12 hour days any more. My boss is really great to me and always has been. I am thankful to work for him and am also glad to be back here in Toronto amongst my friends. Live here is alright and the apartment is small but we are doing okay. Anyways enough for now. Have a great night and this is your gay neighbor coming to you from Toronto Ontario.
Worked yesterday and it was fairly quiet actually but I still did good and manged to make a bit of money. Got home around 5 and took the girls to the park. Also stopped at a garage sale on the way home and managed to get cutlery and I really needed it cause the plastic stuff I got from the restaurant just seemed to break all the time.
I also got a great deal on a couple bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, which was nice and I really love my vodka as you all know or at least you should if you know me at all.
Since I been gone I think I have talked to Matt every day either through text , phone or via email. No matter what happened , I still now and will always love him. I believe without a doubt that he is my lobster and though at times things were rough between us, it was still us and we were together and made it work for over 2 years. I so wanted him to talk me out of leaving right up until the day I left Vancouver and still wish in many ways that he would have. Things are often said in the heat of the moment and I will be forever sorry for anything I ever said to hurt him. Matt if you still read this know that I still love you and am hoping you may change your mind some day soon and join me heere in Toronto so we can start over and be back together.
The job here is okay and I am working 5 days a week , usually a 5 to 6 hour day which is perfect for me right now and don't want to really get back to working the 8 to 12 hour days any more. My boss is really great to me and always has been. I am thankful to work for him and am also glad to be back here in Toronto amongst my friends. Live here is alright and the apartment is small but we are doing okay. Anyways enough for now. Have a great night and this is your gay neighbor coming to you from Toronto Ontario.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Been a while
Well it has been a while since I have written anything and I have really gotten off track, my life has taken so many changes in the last month and I am starting to get organized and will be writing more here very soon. The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of change for me the girls and Matt and the cats.
The girls and I flew out here to Toronto on the 21st of May and have been busy trying to settle in and with starting work , the new apartment and appointments it has been well say the least a little crazy. Matt and the cats are in Vancouver and we have separated. This makes nit hard as well because I still miss him a great deal and really hate being alone and having no one to hold me anymore.
So lets catch you up. I got to Vancouver on the 21st, I stayed with one friend and the girls stayed at another friends, got the new apartment on June 1st and spent a day cleaning and stuff here. my belongings all arrived from Vancouver non June 2nd and let me just say, not all in the best shape! Rogers also came on June 2nd and hooked up internet and cable and phone, worst hook up guy ever. All this time working as well. Yesterday was my birthday and I am now 41 years old. So that is the last couple weeks in a nut shell. Will go into more detail soon. But for now off to work. Have a great day and thanks for reading.
The girls and I flew out here to Toronto on the 21st of May and have been busy trying to settle in and with starting work , the new apartment and appointments it has been well say the least a little crazy. Matt and the cats are in Vancouver and we have separated. This makes nit hard as well because I still miss him a great deal and really hate being alone and having no one to hold me anymore.
So lets catch you up. I got to Vancouver on the 21st, I stayed with one friend and the girls stayed at another friends, got the new apartment on June 1st and spent a day cleaning and stuff here. my belongings all arrived from Vancouver non June 2nd and let me just say, not all in the best shape! Rogers also came on June 2nd and hooked up internet and cable and phone, worst hook up guy ever. All this time working as well. Yesterday was my birthday and I am now 41 years old. So that is the last couple weeks in a nut shell. Will go into more detail soon. But for now off to work. Have a great day and thanks for reading.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)