Well I have dreams and then I have my reality. The reality is I live in a small apartment in Toronto with my 2 girls and work an awful lot to pay the bills and get buy. And quite honestly I really don't mind doing all this as it is just part of life or at least my life, though I truly wish I was not here alone and without the person that I honestly and totally love. It is hard and when I get to talk to Matthew it just brings a smile on my face that can not be replaced with anything else in the world. If I have a bad day at all , it is totally brightened when I see a text message from him in the morning or a chat with him on msn.No matter anything that has happened with us in the past at all, I truly believe that he is my lobster and that we are destined to be together and I know that we still love each other a great deal. It is just that right at the moment life has taken us both on a different path. I refuse to give up and will fight for us until I know there is no end to doing so. When they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it is true. I believe I am happier here in Toronto, because I have a good job and friends that get me through my days, it is my nights that I am alone and I realize the one thing I am missing here is Matt. Not an hour goes by when I don't think of him and wish he were here with me. That is my dream and I refuse to let go of that because deep in my heart I know some day soon we will be together again and we will truly have everything if we are a couple.
I had a dream the other night and dreamed Matt was next to me in bed, I reached over to cuddle and it was my little dog Storm and I grabbed her and she let out a little yelp, poor thing! I also have had a recurring dream of my marriage and every time I kiss my groom, it is always Matthew. I will hold on to that and believe in the best in life. I need to be more positive and love life more and that is what I am now doing. Anyhow I hope that anyone in love realizes what you have, hold onto it and work through your problems and move on from there. If you dread an argument , it will probably happen. The more you concentrate on the negative, the more likely it is to happen. Just saying.
Anyhow off to work soon, have a great day and to all the fathers out there , have a Happy Fathers Day.
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