Well it was quite the day in the neighborhood and I had a lot to get accomplished today. Most of it got done before I was so rudely interrupted by our afternoon attempted robbery at the neighbors. Anyhow I will get back to that in a moment. I need to say a few other things first.
Last night was a great night and our friend Froy is back from being up in Squamish and being with his parents for the last month. I tell you I have nothing but respect for that young man right now, loosing his mom and handling it so distinguished and so mature. I know I could have never done that at his age and probably couldn't handle it as well as he has. To Froy, you are wonderful and your father is very lucky to have you and so are we!
Anyhow today I was cleaning the car and out in the back lane and these 2 weird looking fellows walk by, not thinking too much about it as we get weirdos here all the time, it is east Vancouver. Anyhow I seem to always look if I see someone who just doesn't belong here. Can't go into too much detail , but a long story short one of the 2 weirdos tried to steal something out of a neighbors house, which is bad enough, but the worst part is the neighbor was actually home and in the house when the crook entered. Scary and lucky at the same time that the crook was not aggressive.
The police were here very quickly and dealt with every thing in a timely manner. I am surprised that they were that quick and di everything they did. Congrats to the police department and it will not be often I ever say that but I am very happy for what they did and their attention to the neighborhood today and also the fact that at least 2 of the 3 officers were somewhat hot.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I will Survive
I am sure I will survive, just depressed again and just when I thought I was actually over it, today is just sad and not too happy with the whole out of work thing. Believe me I try every day to get a job and apply every day and I just can't believe the lack of response that I get, it just sucks and kills me a little bit more every day and I really just need to get over this and move on. Yesterday I was all set to move to Toronto and had talked with Andi and Tom and Tom was all good with it and now his manic momma doesn't know when she will need me and it is not busy yet and is worried I won't stay the entire summer and I think she wants me back permanently which just isn't going to happen right at the moment.
I was all set to head to Toronto for the summer and Matt and I were going to go from May till September so I can catch up on some bills and see some old friends and just be me again. I am realizing that I am the type who needs to be working and needs to be able to shop and stuff when I want to. Oh well things will fall into place soon. Thats all for now, time to watch Survivor.
I was all set to head to Toronto for the summer and Matt and I were going to go from May till September so I can catch up on some bills and see some old friends and just be me again. I am realizing that I am the type who needs to be working and needs to be able to shop and stuff when I want to. Oh well things will fall into place soon. Thats all for now, time to watch Survivor.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Weekand Wrap
Our weekend again was a fairly quiet one and those seem to be the best ones anymore! Saturday we didn't do too much but a few things around the house and some shopping and we all went for a nice walk, Matt and me and the girls. Stopped by a yard sale quickly and just spent a better part of the day relaxing and sitting on the couch. Later in the evening we strolled down to the neighbors and had a couple drinks, listened to a bit of music and visited which is always calming and fun for us, harder for me lately since I am not smoking to be around people that do. I will get over that and the cravings will stop killing me when I see it.
Sunday was filled with phone calls from the family and also from friends and relaxing in the morning and then nap time before we went to PJ's and saw Tom, which was great because we had not seen him for a couple weeks again. After visiting with Tom at PJ's we walked over to Oasis to see Joe and the Surrey entourage for Joe's birthday, which was even more painful than PJ's but that is just because I don't like the Oasis at all and just hate the unfriendliness of all these assholes who go out and think they are all that. Sorry but you are not that great any of you , in fact damn close to none of you. From the few of you I see at the bar and know, you all think you are great but you are single and looking for hook ups in a bar or just getting ugly drunk every weekend, your are superficial at best and frankly just annoy the living fuck out of me. Unfortunately the bar on Sunday afternoon is just not as fun and definitely not near as friendly as it use to be, god times have changed or I have gotten old, maybe it is both, who knows. I have fun as long as I can be there with Matt and get to see those who I care about and thats all that really matters in the end.
Sunday was filled with phone calls from the family and also from friends and relaxing in the morning and then nap time before we went to PJ's and saw Tom, which was great because we had not seen him for a couple weeks again. After visiting with Tom at PJ's we walked over to Oasis to see Joe and the Surrey entourage for Joe's birthday, which was even more painful than PJ's but that is just because I don't like the Oasis at all and just hate the unfriendliness of all these assholes who go out and think they are all that. Sorry but you are not that great any of you , in fact damn close to none of you. From the few of you I see at the bar and know, you all think you are great but you are single and looking for hook ups in a bar or just getting ugly drunk every weekend, your are superficial at best and frankly just annoy the living fuck out of me. Unfortunately the bar on Sunday afternoon is just not as fun and definitely not near as friendly as it use to be, god times have changed or I have gotten old, maybe it is both, who knows. I have fun as long as I can be there with Matt and get to see those who I care about and thats all that really matters in the end.
Thoughts
Well a lot of thoughts go through my head on a daily basis and many of them are just garbage but a few are of great use to my mind and my peace of mind and help me to work through my little funk I get into every so often lately.
One of these such thoughts is that I might go to Toronto for the summer and work at the restaurant from May until September and ease some of our money situations and just ease my mind of the burden of not heaving employment. I am not sure it is a great idea to pick up and go for 4 and a 1/2 months , but hey it may not hurt at all either and lets face it, the damn tips I would make would be very nice to have in pocket and to get credit cards and all paid right off again.
Well for now this is just a thought and I really will have to text Tom and Andi and talk to them before I get my nickers in a knot, and also sit down and talk to Matt and figure out how he can come with me and of course bring all 4 of the kids as well. I be damned if I could live without the 5 of them for the summer. I need my loving and supportive man and my girls and we definitely need the kids just because we are a big family and we belong together, all of us.Well I will keep you posted on this and will make up my mind in the next 3 weeks on the subject and then I will let you know.
One of these such thoughts is that I might go to Toronto for the summer and work at the restaurant from May until September and ease some of our money situations and just ease my mind of the burden of not heaving employment. I am not sure it is a great idea to pick up and go for 4 and a 1/2 months , but hey it may not hurt at all either and lets face it, the damn tips I would make would be very nice to have in pocket and to get credit cards and all paid right off again.
Well for now this is just a thought and I really will have to text Tom and Andi and talk to them before I get my nickers in a knot, and also sit down and talk to Matt and figure out how he can come with me and of course bring all 4 of the kids as well. I be damned if I could live without the 5 of them for the summer. I need my loving and supportive man and my girls and we definitely need the kids just because we are a big family and we belong together, all of us.Well I will keep you posted on this and will make up my mind in the next 3 weeks on the subject and then I will let you know.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Funny Story
Last night I go out to walk the dogs before bed, start the dishwasher and head out the back door to the park with the girls for their evening pee. While I am out Matt gets in the shower. I come back to the house about 15 minutes later and am at the back patio doors and look through just to make sure neither of the cats are sitting there and trying to get out and what do I see a huge amount of water on the floor.
I get in the house, grab a towel , throw it on the floor and go in the washroom and tell Matt, I think the dishwasher is leaking, we have water on the floor! I go back to the kitchen after telling him, shut off the dishwasher and go grab the mop and start cleaning up water. After moving out the fridge and mopping behind there, I was by then expecting to see Matt beside me helping me, not so, he is still in the shower damn it!. I open the cupboard under the sink and more water flows over the floor. I walk into the bathroom and open the shower curtain and say to Matt, I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP!!!! Once I opened the cupboard and realized the drain hose had come disconnected, Matt finally came out and helped me empty the cupboard and grabbed me some more towels and helped clean up the floor and we moved the fridge back.
What a mess, the funny thing is I thought as soon I came in and mentioned the water, oh well today all is fixed and put back away.
I get in the house, grab a towel , throw it on the floor and go in the washroom and tell Matt, I think the dishwasher is leaking, we have water on the floor! I go back to the kitchen after telling him, shut off the dishwasher and go grab the mop and start cleaning up water. After moving out the fridge and mopping behind there, I was by then expecting to see Matt beside me helping me, not so, he is still in the shower damn it!. I open the cupboard under the sink and more water flows over the floor. I walk into the bathroom and open the shower curtain and say to Matt, I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP!!!! Once I opened the cupboard and realized the drain hose had come disconnected, Matt finally came out and helped me empty the cupboard and grabbed me some more towels and helped clean up the floor and we moved the fridge back.
What a mess, the funny thing is I thought as soon I came in and mentioned the water, oh well today all is fixed and put back away.
Yes it is!
Good morning on this glorious Saturday here in Vancouver BC. It is bright and sunny and day number 9 without a smoke for me, making me a bit crazy and slightly bitchy at times I know, but I am doing my best and getting through it day by day.
Last night was a lovely night and very relaxing for Matt and I, we just relaxed on the couch and watched movies and spent some great time together, love it when I can just be next to him and not say a word but still enjoy my time with him. The girls also cuddle up with us as well and we all just sit together like a big family that we are.
Today will be my day to sit on the couch all day and just veg out for a while and play my stupid slot machine games on face book, because I can! Also trying to catch up with friends that I have fallen out of touch with and not really talked to in a while , because I am now realizing that with my funk I am in, I have forgotten to stay in touch with everyone. I can be such an ass at times, or at least I am realizing this now and I can change this and get out of my funk soon and get back to being who I should be and the fun loving and happy guy I use to be and should be again.
I really need to snap out of this and soon and am not sure what else I can do to do this, but I know that I am not as happy nor am I as outgoing without a job and I just find this totally weird and in the end it is something I may not conquer unless I get a job, maybe that is the balance I need to be happy! Part of this is I got so use to having a certain amount of money and being able to shop and buy what I like and wanted when I wanted to and the other part is I really need to be busy and doing something so I don't get bored. It is a Gemini thing, we just need constant change and like to be doing something all the time.
Last night was a lovely night and very relaxing for Matt and I, we just relaxed on the couch and watched movies and spent some great time together, love it when I can just be next to him and not say a word but still enjoy my time with him. The girls also cuddle up with us as well and we all just sit together like a big family that we are.
Today will be my day to sit on the couch all day and just veg out for a while and play my stupid slot machine games on face book, because I can! Also trying to catch up with friends that I have fallen out of touch with and not really talked to in a while , because I am now realizing that with my funk I am in, I have forgotten to stay in touch with everyone. I can be such an ass at times, or at least I am realizing this now and I can change this and get out of my funk soon and get back to being who I should be and the fun loving and happy guy I use to be and should be again.
I really need to snap out of this and soon and am not sure what else I can do to do this, but I know that I am not as happy nor am I as outgoing without a job and I just find this totally weird and in the end it is something I may not conquer unless I get a job, maybe that is the balance I need to be happy! Part of this is I got so use to having a certain amount of money and being able to shop and buy what I like and wanted when I wanted to and the other part is I really need to be busy and doing something so I don't get bored. It is a Gemini thing, we just need constant change and like to be doing something all the time.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Hello
Well well well, we are at Friday again and quite the week it was. Not too much going on but it was great none the less. Elizabeth Taylor is gone but the woman had class and I have to say did the most amazing thing at her own funeral. She had it in her will to show up 15 minutes late for her own service, she wanted to be fashionably late, I think I will try that when I die.
Cindy is on her way back from LA and will be going home to PG tonight, wish I could have seen more of her and got to visit her a bit longer, but we get what we get. I also passed on the interview with the hotel in Fort St John. and I did this cause I am not sure Matt would ever want to move to a northern town, though I am sure he may consider moving to Toronto and maybe even Calgary if I got a job offer there. Very glad that I didn't go for the telephone interview in Fort St John, can't imagine living way up north there again anytime in my life. It was hard enough when I was in the closet , can you imagine now with all my gayness. God I would likely be killed!
Hopefully I will get a job here soon, getting very discouraged and kind of disgusted with the whole search thing and the lack of damn interviews I am getting. It is not like I am not out there and trying and I apply for a lot of jobs every day. Guess maybe I am just not meant to get a job here in Vancouver maybe, because it has never been this hard anywhere else in my life.
Cindy is on her way back from LA and will be going home to PG tonight, wish I could have seen more of her and got to visit her a bit longer, but we get what we get. I also passed on the interview with the hotel in Fort St John. and I did this cause I am not sure Matt would ever want to move to a northern town, though I am sure he may consider moving to Toronto and maybe even Calgary if I got a job offer there. Very glad that I didn't go for the telephone interview in Fort St John, can't imagine living way up north there again anytime in my life. It was hard enough when I was in the closet , can you imagine now with all my gayness. God I would likely be killed!
Hopefully I will get a job here soon, getting very discouraged and kind of disgusted with the whole search thing and the lack of damn interviews I am getting. It is not like I am not out there and trying and I apply for a lot of jobs every day. Guess maybe I am just not meant to get a job here in Vancouver maybe, because it has never been this hard anywhere else in my life.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
A Day of Remeberence
A day just to remember all those who have passed away and who are just no longer in our lives. That is what today will be for me. Elizabeth Taylor, an icon of mine has passed away this morning and I am sure she will be sadly missed by many of her friends and family as well as by so many fans. Also I want to remember today all of the people whom we have all lost over the years. It is horrible how every one mourns the death of someone famous and when someone we truly love passes away it is hard for others to understand the mourning of them and the way we feel when we do. I can honestly say I will never understand the mourning and grieving for a famous person who you knew of , but never really knew can be so devastating for people. I will grieve and mourn for those actually knew and for those I loved and liked and I will celebrate their lives, as far as those who I have seen on the big screen and were icons of mine, I shall remember you.
I have to say our prayers and thoughts in the M and M house go out to our friend and neighbor Froy today and we want him to know that we love him and will be there for him no matter what he needs. I can not even imagine what he is feeling!
Yesterday was another blast from the past for me again, as my hole week has been. I ran into Eric and was quite happy to do so, as I miss him a great deal and wish that he and I had remained closer after I moved back here to Vancouver. he was actually the one person here who I thought I would always be able to count on as a friend.
Anyhow yesterday on the way to my job interview I saw him on the street and the old Eric was back, smiles and huggy, with nothing but nice things to say and wanting to get together for drinks and becoming more social again. Good to see you again my friend.
I went on a job interview yesterday as well which I am very ambivalent about. It was one of those meetings that was just hard to read and I am not sure whether it was good or bad and how it actually went at all, very hard to tell. I guess I will know in 2 to 3 weeks. Would be nice if I did get it, like the hours and the location so I guess I will keep my fingers crossed. I also have a telephone interview tomorrow morning for a really good job out of town, so you never know, it is one position Matt and |I would really have to discuss and look at carefully. Will keep you posted.
I have to say our prayers and thoughts in the M and M house go out to our friend and neighbor Froy today and we want him to know that we love him and will be there for him no matter what he needs. I can not even imagine what he is feeling!
Yesterday was another blast from the past for me again, as my hole week has been. I ran into Eric and was quite happy to do so, as I miss him a great deal and wish that he and I had remained closer after I moved back here to Vancouver. he was actually the one person here who I thought I would always be able to count on as a friend.
Anyhow yesterday on the way to my job interview I saw him on the street and the old Eric was back, smiles and huggy, with nothing but nice things to say and wanting to get together for drinks and becoming more social again. Good to see you again my friend.
I went on a job interview yesterday as well which I am very ambivalent about. It was one of those meetings that was just hard to read and I am not sure whether it was good or bad and how it actually went at all, very hard to tell. I guess I will know in 2 to 3 weeks. Would be nice if I did get it, like the hours and the location so I guess I will keep my fingers crossed. I also have a telephone interview tomorrow morning for a really good job out of town, so you never know, it is one position Matt and |I would really have to discuss and look at carefully. Will keep you posted.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Cindy and her Family
Well I finally got to reconnect with Cindy and I am so thankful to have done so. I never realized how much I missed her and how important she is to me. So great to see her again, my god she almost looks the same, still a tiny little gorgeous bubbly blonde with a personality like no other.
We also met her hubby and he seems so sweet and like a real genuine guy, glad she finally has a man who appreciates her for who she is. They are so cute together, and the kids well a picture perfect family. Loving parents and a boy and a girl. Brody is so damn wonderful and has grown up so much since the little 2year old I last saw 15 years ago. He is going to be 17 the end of this month and graduates next year, wow how time flies by us all. And her daughter, what a beautiful young girl and so tiny and pretty, and quiet, my god, 11 year old girls are suppose to be loud I always thought, at least from hearing the neighbors loud mouth you would think so.
Anyhow I am so happy that her family got to meet Matt and that he got to meet someone who is important to me.
The rest of the day was our drive home after the outrageous parking charge from the airport, what the hell is that all about any ways. Crazy, there for just over 2 hours and it cost 25.00 dollars, I am not sure what is wrong with our city and their outrageous rates on everything. God we are going to scare away more people than we attract if we keep this shit up.
After our visit we stopped at Restore, one of my favorite shops and looked at household and reno stuff as we do quite often. Love to shop there, nu8mber one for the great prices and secondly because we know most of the staff as well now. Nothing to buy there today though. After our stop we came home and had our nap time, as we do everyday. I love my naps! Now just waiting for House to come on and hoping Cindy got to her holiday destination okay.
We also met her hubby and he seems so sweet and like a real genuine guy, glad she finally has a man who appreciates her for who she is. They are so cute together, and the kids well a picture perfect family. Loving parents and a boy and a girl. Brody is so damn wonderful and has grown up so much since the little 2year old I last saw 15 years ago. He is going to be 17 the end of this month and graduates next year, wow how time flies by us all. And her daughter, what a beautiful young girl and so tiny and pretty, and quiet, my god, 11 year old girls are suppose to be loud I always thought, at least from hearing the neighbors loud mouth you would think so.
Anyhow I am so happy that her family got to meet Matt and that he got to meet someone who is important to me.
The rest of the day was our drive home after the outrageous parking charge from the airport, what the hell is that all about any ways. Crazy, there for just over 2 hours and it cost 25.00 dollars, I am not sure what is wrong with our city and their outrageous rates on everything. God we are going to scare away more people than we attract if we keep this shit up.
After our visit we stopped at Restore, one of my favorite shops and looked at household and reno stuff as we do quite often. Love to shop there, nu8mber one for the great prices and secondly because we know most of the staff as well now. Nothing to buy there today though. After our stop we came home and had our nap time, as we do everyday. I love my naps! Now just waiting for House to come on and hoping Cindy got to her holiday destination okay.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Another day and .........
Yes still no job, but at least I am still here and doing well. I am happy to be healthy and alive and to have my life, but god how I wish I had a damn job and not just any job , but something I would love and enjoy. I know not asking for too much am I? I apply for work every day and keep on looking. I am very determined and really need and want to get back to work. So I guess if anyone reads this and knows of a job in the hospitality industry anywhere, please send me a note.
Today was a bright and glorious day, although still a bit chilly here in Vancouver. I managed to get a lot of things done and completed today. I finished the bathroom and put the light back up and repainted all the trim so I have to put that up tomorrow I guess. Can't wait, it looks so awsome so far and if I do say so myself, just plain and simply fabulous. Also got all the laundry done as well this morning and managed to fit in a good workout. My body will thank me by summertime I am sure.
Got an unexpected call today and am kind of sorry I missed it in some ways. It was Jurgen and I am not sure I want to answer if he does call, because I really don't know what to say to him at all and have gotten used to not having him in my life at all. Some days I miss him , but that is only natural and after the way he treated me I just need to let him go and be done! Though I am still curious as to what he has to say for himself if anything at all and also wondering if he apologized would I let him back in my life, maybe but it would never be the same. It is true what they say, you can never go back, Only forward! I figured that out when I moved back to Vancouver and in my mind thought it would all be the same and life would be like it was 10 years ago when I left, surprise to me , it was not at all! This is probably for the best otherwise I would not be who I am today and where I am now and be with the man I love. So I guess as we grow, so do those around us and life changes for the best and is just meant to do so.
Today was a bright and glorious day, although still a bit chilly here in Vancouver. I managed to get a lot of things done and completed today. I finished the bathroom and put the light back up and repainted all the trim so I have to put that up tomorrow I guess. Can't wait, it looks so awsome so far and if I do say so myself, just plain and simply fabulous. Also got all the laundry done as well this morning and managed to fit in a good workout. My body will thank me by summertime I am sure.
Got an unexpected call today and am kind of sorry I missed it in some ways. It was Jurgen and I am not sure I want to answer if he does call, because I really don't know what to say to him at all and have gotten used to not having him in my life at all. Some days I miss him , but that is only natural and after the way he treated me I just need to let him go and be done! Though I am still curious as to what he has to say for himself if anything at all and also wondering if he apologized would I let him back in my life, maybe but it would never be the same. It is true what they say, you can never go back, Only forward! I figured that out when I moved back to Vancouver and in my mind thought it would all be the same and life would be like it was 10 years ago when I left, surprise to me , it was not at all! This is probably for the best otherwise I would not be who I am today and where I am now and be with the man I love. So I guess as we grow, so do those around us and life changes for the best and is just meant to do so.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday
Well it is almost spring according to the calendar and hopefully it will warm up here soon, it is nice to have day light until 7pm though. Maybe as well when the spring comes , jobs will open up a bit more and some poor S.O.B. will mistakenly hire me. Ha Ha, I am just kidding, I know I'll be the unfortunate one to work for some idiot who does not know how to treat an employee and still believes in slave labor. Maybe I am just getting bitter from the whole job thing. Phase 2 after depression I guess!
Finally got the bathroom all painted today and tomorrow we can put it all back together and it will be complete. Still have to paint ceilings in the other rooms in the house and I am sure I will get that done here soon as I have the energy. I have to be in a certain mood to paint and I just know when I am and then I do it.
So day number 4 without a cigarette and so far so good. I guess I am doing well and am happy with my progress. I also work out more now and am going to start going for long walks with my girls again starting on Tuesday and hopefully I can actually quit smoking and get into the best shape of my life. Also I think Rogue and Storm will love the walks and hopefully we can talk Matthew into joining us as much as possible. It will be a great thing for the whole family and something that will be healthy for all of us as well.
Two more sleeps till I get to see Cindy and her kids and the hubby. Looking forward to that and wish that we had more time to spend together.But I will take what I can get and am just so damn excited. Been far too long.
Finally got the bathroom all painted today and tomorrow we can put it all back together and it will be complete. Still have to paint ceilings in the other rooms in the house and I am sure I will get that done here soon as I have the energy. I have to be in a certain mood to paint and I just know when I am and then I do it.
So day number 4 without a cigarette and so far so good. I guess I am doing well and am happy with my progress. I also work out more now and am going to start going for long walks with my girls again starting on Tuesday and hopefully I can actually quit smoking and get into the best shape of my life. Also I think Rogue and Storm will love the walks and hopefully we can talk Matthew into joining us as much as possible. It will be a great thing for the whole family and something that will be healthy for all of us as well.
Two more sleeps till I get to see Cindy and her kids and the hubby. Looking forward to that and wish that we had more time to spend together.But I will take what I can get and am just so damn excited. Been far too long.
Friday, March 18, 2011
St. Patrick's Day
Yesterday is not only St Patty's day but is also our anniversary of the date that we started to date. Matt and I have now been together for 2 wonderful years and we are doing good and things just seem to fit and get better with time. I know more and more that we are meant to be together and this makes me truly happy because I honestly love him.
Anyhow for our anniversary we worked in the bathroom all day yesterday making a few more small changes such as moving electrical and installing our full length mirror behind the door which I love and really wanted so Matt gave in and helped me with it. Then we went out for a lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants on kingsway, Tops Restaurant and I really have to say that it is always the most amazing of food and service and we have never had a miss there. They truly satisfy me and what I look for in a restaurant when I go out. The prices are reasonable, the food is always consistent and very good, and the service is impeccable every time we are there.
Last night after we got home Hope came over for a visit and we all sat in the living room and talked about stuff, and had a nice time. It is always great to see her and spend some quality time together. She was having a rough night and needed to just get out of the house and visit someone for a bit, and believe me I know what that can be like, so I am always happy to be there for anyone especially friends.
Day 3 for me of no smoking and so far am doing well. Having some graving and wanting a cigarette at certain times during the day. I especially want one in the morning when I get up and at night if I have a drink and sometimes when I am at the park with the girls. Though I am certain this time I will beat my smoking demon or at least I hope to! Wish me luck.
Anyhow for our anniversary we worked in the bathroom all day yesterday making a few more small changes such as moving electrical and installing our full length mirror behind the door which I love and really wanted so Matt gave in and helped me with it. Then we went out for a lovely dinner at one of our favorite restaurants on kingsway, Tops Restaurant and I really have to say that it is always the most amazing of food and service and we have never had a miss there. They truly satisfy me and what I look for in a restaurant when I go out. The prices are reasonable, the food is always consistent and very good, and the service is impeccable every time we are there.
Last night after we got home Hope came over for a visit and we all sat in the living room and talked about stuff, and had a nice time. It is always great to see her and spend some quality time together. She was having a rough night and needed to just get out of the house and visit someone for a bit, and believe me I know what that can be like, so I am always happy to be there for anyone especially friends.
Day 3 for me of no smoking and so far am doing well. Having some graving and wanting a cigarette at certain times during the day. I especially want one in the morning when I get up and at night if I have a drink and sometimes when I am at the park with the girls. Though I am certain this time I will beat my smoking demon or at least I hope to! Wish me luck.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Getting Back on Track
Okay here it is, I have been super depressed lately and not sure whether I was coming or going. So ass of today I am going to get my shit back together and get back on track. I have started working out again and I try to work out for at least 30 to 45 minutes and use to on a daily basis, not sure what happened to that. Anyhow I am going to make myself do it again. I also have to get up and just do what I am going to do. I realize I really need to stay busy and keep my mind busy all the time. This will help me to think more positive and hopefully land a job. Step number 3 to getting back on track is my new goal to quit smoking, this I promised myself I would do if mom's news was good last week and it was. I have been without a cigarette now for just over 6 hours and will do this, this time no matter how hard it is.
Wish me luck!
So on that note now all I have to do is to get a job as I have realized that working is a huge part of me and a huge part of my life and a part that makes me happy and keeps me stable in every way. I haven't worked in so long I think it is just finally driven me nuts. I said for the last year that I just wasn't meant to get a job so I could be there for Mom if needed and I thought that was true. Now I am just not sure if I can get a job with the competition I have in this city, but I am determined and will get the job and not only a job , but one that I actually want to have. Not those shit jobs I have taken here in the past for those shit employers who wanted to use me like a god damn slave or something. Sorry I don't work for peanuts!
Wish me luck!
So on that note now all I have to do is to get a job as I have realized that working is a huge part of me and a huge part of my life and a part that makes me happy and keeps me stable in every way. I haven't worked in so long I think it is just finally driven me nuts. I said for the last year that I just wasn't meant to get a job so I could be there for Mom if needed and I thought that was true. Now I am just not sure if I can get a job with the competition I have in this city, but I am determined and will get the job and not only a job , but one that I actually want to have. Not those shit jobs I have taken here in the past for those shit employers who wanted to use me like a god damn slave or something. Sorry I don't work for peanuts!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Glee Tonight
And so it is back to Tuesday and is my Glee night. The last couple days have been crazy busy and time has just flown by like you would not believe. Sunday afternoon we went to Pumpjacks and met up with Tom, was not too exciting there at all, we actually only hung around till about 6pm and then walked across the street and had dinner at Hamburger Mary, love their food and the portions and prices are always great, especially for the west end.
Monday was a totally hectic day and we were trying to move TVs around and experienced some electrical problems in the back room and kitchen , thanks to that ass we hired over a year ago who seemed quite qualified, but was nothing but an idiot fake who knew how to sell himself. If you ever come across a guy named Wade Gervis who claims to be an electrician , for god sakes do not hire him. He is a complete and udder fuck up, pardon my language. A true salesman and a charmer though.
After that little screw up, we went over to Matt's parents house and did some stuff for them there and visited for a short time. Then we ran around to find a new laptop as the screen on mine keeps getting worse and is totally done for after the coffee incident Sunday morning. That was a chore in itself, and let me tell you, the Future Shop in Burnaby at Metrotown, I will never step foot in again. They are complete idiots and super rude, never get good service there and no offense but the salesman yesterday was just a putz and a bloody ass if you ask my opinion. So we went to Future Shop way down on Pine and Broadway, the best service I have ever received, Thank you Aidan. So anyways after a full day, we did finally get the laptop and I am happy again or should I say somewhat.
Not sure what the hell is going on with me as of late but I am just not myself and feel I am loosing it some days. The other day thoughts that went through my head were really weird and plus I have been having the strangest of dreams and talking in my sleep a lot. But on Sunday morn the thoughts I was having were what if I had never been born, and things like that. Just getting really down about not having a job and getting no response to anything here at all right now. I am also getting what I call my winter headaches and I seem to get them every year for about a month or two and they always happen in the same spot, right above my left eye and just hurt. This has been going on for about 4 years not and I seem to get them between February and April consistently and daily and then the rest of the year just on occasion. I have also been getting chest pains and pain in my lower back on the left side for about a week now. I seem to just be falling apart and I chalk it all up to stress. Any how I hope you all have a great day from your gay neighbor.
Monday was a totally hectic day and we were trying to move TVs around and experienced some electrical problems in the back room and kitchen , thanks to that ass we hired over a year ago who seemed quite qualified, but was nothing but an idiot fake who knew how to sell himself. If you ever come across a guy named Wade Gervis who claims to be an electrician , for god sakes do not hire him. He is a complete and udder fuck up, pardon my language. A true salesman and a charmer though.
After that little screw up, we went over to Matt's parents house and did some stuff for them there and visited for a short time. Then we ran around to find a new laptop as the screen on mine keeps getting worse and is totally done for after the coffee incident Sunday morning. That was a chore in itself, and let me tell you, the Future Shop in Burnaby at Metrotown, I will never step foot in again. They are complete idiots and super rude, never get good service there and no offense but the salesman yesterday was just a putz and a bloody ass if you ask my opinion. So we went to Future Shop way down on Pine and Broadway, the best service I have ever received, Thank you Aidan. So anyways after a full day, we did finally get the laptop and I am happy again or should I say somewhat.
Not sure what the hell is going on with me as of late but I am just not myself and feel I am loosing it some days. The other day thoughts that went through my head were really weird and plus I have been having the strangest of dreams and talking in my sleep a lot. But on Sunday morn the thoughts I was having were what if I had never been born, and things like that. Just getting really down about not having a job and getting no response to anything here at all right now. I am also getting what I call my winter headaches and I seem to get them every year for about a month or two and they always happen in the same spot, right above my left eye and just hurt. This has been going on for about 4 years not and I seem to get them between February and April consistently and daily and then the rest of the year just on occasion. I have also been getting chest pains and pain in my lower back on the left side for about a week now. I seem to just be falling apart and I chalk it all up to stress. Any how I hope you all have a great day from your gay neighbor.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
What a day so far
Good Morning Spring and welcome to our clocks going an hour ahead. It has been a busy morning here in the M and M house so far. I got up around 7:30 and Matt was already out with the dogs and cats to the park so they could do their morning business. And he had my coffee brewing for me like always, so sweet and wonderful he is.
I started the laundry already and have got the second load in now. Then came up stairs to relax and went to grab my fricken coffee and spilled it on the laptop, the screen is all stained now , but at least it is still working. Thank god for that . I am so clumsy lately, not sure what the hell is going on. Weird weird weird. So I dried as much as I could with the towel and the blow dryer and it seems to have worked as well as can be expected and I can live with a few stains on the screen as long as I still have the use of the laptop, I am not really caring too much and as they say shit happens.
Yesterday was a crazy day and fairly busy around here with running around and stuff. We went to Restore and I got some flowers for the garden, hell primroses at 4 for a $1, you would be crazy not to buy a few. We also got this really cool stainless steel garbage can for the kitchen, I love it. The we went to future shop cause we needed a new wireless router to speed up our internet. So we went to Future Shop and we got it there. Put it on my card so we have 3 months to pay, love doing that and maybe by then we will have a bit of extra money.
So other than the laptop thing, the day is good thus far and we are still going out later I do believe. Will be back a bit later and hope you all have a less clumsy day than me.
I started the laundry already and have got the second load in now. Then came up stairs to relax and went to grab my fricken coffee and spilled it on the laptop, the screen is all stained now , but at least it is still working. Thank god for that . I am so clumsy lately, not sure what the hell is going on. Weird weird weird. So I dried as much as I could with the towel and the blow dryer and it seems to have worked as well as can be expected and I can live with a few stains on the screen as long as I still have the use of the laptop, I am not really caring too much and as they say shit happens.
Yesterday was a crazy day and fairly busy around here with running around and stuff. We went to Restore and I got some flowers for the garden, hell primroses at 4 for a $1, you would be crazy not to buy a few. We also got this really cool stainless steel garbage can for the kitchen, I love it. The we went to future shop cause we needed a new wireless router to speed up our internet. So we went to Future Shop and we got it there. Put it on my card so we have 3 months to pay, love doing that and maybe by then we will have a bit of extra money.
So other than the laptop thing, the day is good thus far and we are still going out later I do believe. Will be back a bit later and hope you all have a less clumsy day than me.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Back to Friday
Been a great week and actually very busy as well. We got a lot accomplished and now the weekend is among us. We are finally going to go out on Sunday again, after many weeks of staying home, we have reason to celebrate and besides all that our anniversary is next Thursday, we will have been together for 2 years now. It has been a great 2 years with a lot of ups and downs. But through it all we have survived and and our relationship is all the stronger for it.
So after all my unsuccessful relationships and past loves and all my exes, I can actually say I am happy and look forward to marrying this man of mine. Yes it does get easier, but love is never easy and either are relationships and I am living proof of that. I am just glad that now that I am a little after 40, I actually know the difference between love and just companionship of some sort. Pays to be patient or at least it has in my case. I have to say I never thought that I would find love and glad that I persevered all the bad to actually find the good and to be with Matt.
So to everyone out there searching, take a little advice from me, stop looking and eventually it will just come to you and you will get all you deserve. Thats what I did, I never thought I would fall in love again and honestly thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. I truly am in love with Matt. Someday soon I hope to get married and have lots of friends over to our after wedding party. Soon I hope to be planning our wedding together and I will let you all know where we are registered, just kidding about the registered part.
So after all my unsuccessful relationships and past loves and all my exes, I can actually say I am happy and look forward to marrying this man of mine. Yes it does get easier, but love is never easy and either are relationships and I am living proof of that. I am just glad that now that I am a little after 40, I actually know the difference between love and just companionship of some sort. Pays to be patient or at least it has in my case. I have to say I never thought that I would find love and glad that I persevered all the bad to actually find the good and to be with Matt.
So to everyone out there searching, take a little advice from me, stop looking and eventually it will just come to you and you will get all you deserve. Thats what I did, I never thought I would fall in love again and honestly thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. I truly am in love with Matt. Someday soon I hope to get married and have lots of friends over to our after wedding party. Soon I hope to be planning our wedding together and I will let you all know where we are registered, just kidding about the registered part.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
My Mother
My mother is not only my mom, but she is my best friend and my confidant. I love her and am so glad that she is in my life every day. She is the most supportive person I have and I need her to be there forever. She has always been great and understanding and I can talk to her about anything that I want to or feel that I need to. I love her so much and count on her as I am sure she counts on me.
I remember when I came out as a gay man and mom looked at me and she looked so sad , but with a brave smile on her face, she said it does not matter , you will always be my son and I love you. She has always been this way.
Last year when I found out Mom had cancer I was devastated and thought if anything happened to her there is no way I could go on without her and her support and love. I even thought of moving to Calgary and Matt and I had talked about it if she was still sick. I thank god today for her being well and I prayed for almost a year that this would be so. She phone me today and I was so relieved to hear that she is now cancer free! I even prayed last year that if she could get better I would take her place. Crazy I know, but I would have if I could have.
So good news we get to stay in Vancouver for now and I can continue to look for a job here. Hopefully I get one some day soon. Have a great night and thanks to everyone for their support over the last year.
I remember when I came out as a gay man and mom looked at me and she looked so sad , but with a brave smile on her face, she said it does not matter , you will always be my son and I love you. She has always been this way.
Last year when I found out Mom had cancer I was devastated and thought if anything happened to her there is no way I could go on without her and her support and love. I even thought of moving to Calgary and Matt and I had talked about it if she was still sick. I thank god today for her being well and I prayed for almost a year that this would be so. She phone me today and I was so relieved to hear that she is now cancer free! I even prayed last year that if she could get better I would take her place. Crazy I know, but I would have if I could have.
So good news we get to stay in Vancouver for now and I can continue to look for a job here. Hopefully I get one some day soon. Have a great night and thanks to everyone for their support over the last year.
Waiting
We are all always waiting for something or another. Today I am waiting on a phone call from my Mom, waiting for grout to dry and waiting for the roofers to show up and clean up their mess.
I grouted the back splash in the bathroom behind the sink and am waiting for it to dry, but so far it looks amazingly fantastic. I love the job we have done with the new vanity and back splash and grout. Now to just wait.
I am also waiting for my Mom to call and this is the hardest waiting ever. I hate waiting for any news of any sort and especially hate waiting for news from Mom. It just drives me crazy! Keeping my fingers crossed and just so nervous and my body is numb in anticipation.
We are also waiting for the roofers to show up and clean up their mistakes from the job they did over a month ago. The left quite the mess and their boss was a true salesman in every sense of the word. he said constantly what you wanted to hear but never actually did any of those things. Well the roofers are here now and fixing the mistakes and cleaning up the mess, thank god.
I will tell you more about Shaun the roofer later on and get into detail. Our roof laborers were great so don't get me wrong and the all around job was wonderful. But this Shaun who is a foreman is just a total ass!
Anyways life is about waiting, waiting to live, waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for friends to come home, waiting for a certain TV show, waiting, we are all waiting for something aren't we?
I grouted the back splash in the bathroom behind the sink and am waiting for it to dry, but so far it looks amazingly fantastic. I love the job we have done with the new vanity and back splash and grout. Now to just wait.
I am also waiting for my Mom to call and this is the hardest waiting ever. I hate waiting for any news of any sort and especially hate waiting for news from Mom. It just drives me crazy! Keeping my fingers crossed and just so nervous and my body is numb in anticipation.
We are also waiting for the roofers to show up and clean up their mistakes from the job they did over a month ago. The left quite the mess and their boss was a true salesman in every sense of the word. he said constantly what you wanted to hear but never actually did any of those things. Well the roofers are here now and fixing the mistakes and cleaning up the mess, thank god.
I will tell you more about Shaun the roofer later on and get into detail. Our roof laborers were great so don't get me wrong and the all around job was wonderful. But this Shaun who is a foreman is just a total ass!
Anyways life is about waiting, waiting to live, waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for friends to come home, waiting for a certain TV show, waiting, we are all waiting for something aren't we?
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Mondane Mondays
Well yesterday was a very busy day and we got our bathroom all done. It now looks amazing. I put in a new parkay wood flooring and Matt and I put in a new vanity and mirror, Matt did all the plumbing again all by himself. I am so proud of everything he has learned how to do and that he can do. He is such an intelligent man, it just amazes me all the time.
Redoing the bathroom was not without its challenges though, we had to run to the hardware store for quite the list of stuff and needed to reset the toilet and everything made it for quite the long and interesting day, but now that it is done it looks amazing and all for well under $200! Not bad redoing your bathroom for under that amount. I am thrifty and look for deals where ever I can get them. I got the flooring off Craigslist for free from a guy in Whiterock who had extra and the vanity and mirror we got for over 50% off at Home Depot.
This morning I put up a back splash behind the bathroom sink and installed a new GFI plug in the wall. The back splash is amazingly gorgeous glass tiles of a multi color which bring the color of the wall and cabinet and add a little red. I love it, but am not too sure that Matt likes it that much.
Tonight is Glee night and then Biggest Looser and I love them both. My night to sit on the couch and just get fat and watch TV. Well actually I tend to do that every night lately especially now that all the new shows are on! Matt is constantly downloading movies and watching them every day, glad he is enjoying them all. I am still looking for work and applying for more jobs every damn day, with no luck thus far, but at least I am persistent in my search. Well I should get back to my dinner that I am making, Pork chops and roasted potatoes and cauliflower and Fish for Matt. I also started making my ham bone soup today but that I cook over night so every thing is nice and tender and the flavors flow. Hope you all have a great day. Talk soon, from your gay neighbor and my apologies for not blogging yesterday.
Redoing the bathroom was not without its challenges though, we had to run to the hardware store for quite the list of stuff and needed to reset the toilet and everything made it for quite the long and interesting day, but now that it is done it looks amazing and all for well under $200! Not bad redoing your bathroom for under that amount. I am thrifty and look for deals where ever I can get them. I got the flooring off Craigslist for free from a guy in Whiterock who had extra and the vanity and mirror we got for over 50% off at Home Depot.
This morning I put up a back splash behind the bathroom sink and installed a new GFI plug in the wall. The back splash is amazingly gorgeous glass tiles of a multi color which bring the color of the wall and cabinet and add a little red. I love it, but am not too sure that Matt likes it that much.
Tonight is Glee night and then Biggest Looser and I love them both. My night to sit on the couch and just get fat and watch TV. Well actually I tend to do that every night lately especially now that all the new shows are on! Matt is constantly downloading movies and watching them every day, glad he is enjoying them all. I am still looking for work and applying for more jobs every damn day, with no luck thus far, but at least I am persistent in my search. Well I should get back to my dinner that I am making, Pork chops and roasted potatoes and cauliflower and Fish for Matt. I also started making my ham bone soup today but that I cook over night so every thing is nice and tender and the flavors flow. Hope you all have a great day. Talk soon, from your gay neighbor and my apologies for not blogging yesterday.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A Productive Day
First off let me say, We did not go to Pumpjack again this week, three weeks in a row now that we have not gone out and I don't actually give a damn, nor do I miss it at all, the only part I miss is seeing Tom on Sundays. Part of the reason we have not gone out is a money factor and the other part is I have really almost quit drinking and limited myself to only two or three drinks a week now.
Also today I got to meet the brand new baby girl next door, she is just beautiful and so cute and so much hair I am jealous! I also planted the new rose bushes and weeded a bit in the garden and cleaned up a bit outside. Saw both Isabella and John as well today and the poor things look really tired, I guess that is what having a brand new baby in the house will do to you.
I completed the laundry, peeled up the old floor and scraped all the glue off the bathroom floor and then started to lay the new wood parkay flooring in there and over 1/2 done and it looks just perfect. I am so proud of me and the things I can now do and never ever thought in a million years that I would tackle. I surprise even myself some days! Now I am sitting on my fat ass after the amazing dinner my fab husband made for me, a fabulous pork loin with rice and sauteed veggies. God I am a lucky man. So back to the Amazing Race and then the new Celebrity Apprentice starts. Talk to you al soon and have a great week. Your Gay Neighbor.
Also today I got to meet the brand new baby girl next door, she is just beautiful and so cute and so much hair I am jealous! I also planted the new rose bushes and weeded a bit in the garden and cleaned up a bit outside. Saw both Isabella and John as well today and the poor things look really tired, I guess that is what having a brand new baby in the house will do to you.
I completed the laundry, peeled up the old floor and scraped all the glue off the bathroom floor and then started to lay the new wood parkay flooring in there and over 1/2 done and it looks just perfect. I am so proud of me and the things I can now do and never ever thought in a million years that I would tackle. I surprise even myself some days! Now I am sitting on my fat ass after the amazing dinner my fab husband made for me, a fabulous pork loin with rice and sauteed veggies. God I am a lucky man. So back to the Amazing Race and then the new Celebrity Apprentice starts. Talk to you al soon and have a great week. Your Gay Neighbor.
A Good Time Was Had By All
Yesterday was an extremely busy day and a lot got accomplished again. We started our Saturday very early and went to Home Depot and picked up the new bathroom vanity which we got at over 50% off, and will put in this week along with the full length mirror which I got free off of craigslist a couple of weeks ago. I am also going to lay new flooring in the washroom to help with the updating of it. After we were done at Home Depot, it was off to North Vancouver and a visit with Matts mom and dad and picked up some wood that Matts dad had for us. He also gave me a couple of new rose bushes which I just love. The garden will be extremely beautiful and full this year. Then we came home after stopping at the grocery store quickly and went to the open house across the street from us, mostly out of curiosity I guess, loved the house and all of its original hardwood and wood work throughout, but the layout was not really suitable for us. It would be an amazing investment though, if we could at this time. After that it was nap time again, I have to have an hour nap every day and have done this now for about seven years. I find I feel better if I workout daily and have a nap every day, who knew that I would be a napper.
Last night we went to Bo and Hopes for dinner and a lovely dinner it was, they had amazing salads and this cheddar and jalapeno bread that was so amazing and Bo BBQ chicken legs to perfection.dessert was very good as well, though some people may not agree with me. It was lovely little frozen chocolate covered cream puffs, which if nothing else were just plain addictive. I could not get my fill of these. An extraordinary dinner and then we had the most fantastic visit with them that we have had in a long time. It was just great , we shared what kind of work we would have done if we won or had extra money and by work I mean plastic or elective surgeries. I would definitely have stuff done. Let me tell you what I want to do and what I long for even though others may disagree with me, I know I would feel so much better about myself and my appearance. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am bad looking, actually I think I look damn good, though there are things I think we would all change about ourselves given the chance. I would get a hair transplant first and foremost and then have my nose done so it didn't have the bumps from being broke so many times and then maybe have my eyes just tightened a bit. That is all.
Any how we sat last night and visited and talked and just had a great time with Bo and Hope both before and after dinner. It is nice to go up there and have them down here as we just have so much in common with them and they are one of our only couple friends which is always a nice thing and very hard to find when you are married and over 40. We will have to have them over for dinner soon and return the favor.
Today is Sunday and I got up around 8am , Matt a bit earlier than me. I just can't seem to have a sleep that is a straight 8 hours lately and wake up half way through the night, I guess my body is so stressed and maybe I am just over tired. I need to stop worrying about things that are out of my control and I need to learn how to do this soon.
Well I have started laundry and may start to lift the old bathroom floor later and then lay the new one if I feel up to it, and as always I will of course apply for a few jobs just because I am try not to loose hope in that respect of finding employment here sooner than later I hope. I want a job so bad. Any how I shall return a bit later. Heres hoping everyone is have a great weekend and may it be as sunny everywhere else in the world as it is here. Peace out from your gay neighbor!
Last night we went to Bo and Hopes for dinner and a lovely dinner it was, they had amazing salads and this cheddar and jalapeno bread that was so amazing and Bo BBQ chicken legs to perfection.dessert was very good as well, though some people may not agree with me. It was lovely little frozen chocolate covered cream puffs, which if nothing else were just plain addictive. I could not get my fill of these. An extraordinary dinner and then we had the most fantastic visit with them that we have had in a long time. It was just great , we shared what kind of work we would have done if we won or had extra money and by work I mean plastic or elective surgeries. I would definitely have stuff done. Let me tell you what I want to do and what I long for even though others may disagree with me, I know I would feel so much better about myself and my appearance. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am bad looking, actually I think I look damn good, though there are things I think we would all change about ourselves given the chance. I would get a hair transplant first and foremost and then have my nose done so it didn't have the bumps from being broke so many times and then maybe have my eyes just tightened a bit. That is all.
Any how we sat last night and visited and talked and just had a great time with Bo and Hope both before and after dinner. It is nice to go up there and have them down here as we just have so much in common with them and they are one of our only couple friends which is always a nice thing and very hard to find when you are married and over 40. We will have to have them over for dinner soon and return the favor.
Today is Sunday and I got up around 8am , Matt a bit earlier than me. I just can't seem to have a sleep that is a straight 8 hours lately and wake up half way through the night, I guess my body is so stressed and maybe I am just over tired. I need to stop worrying about things that are out of my control and I need to learn how to do this soon.
Well I have started laundry and may start to lift the old bathroom floor later and then lay the new one if I feel up to it, and as always I will of course apply for a few jobs just because I am try not to loose hope in that respect of finding employment here sooner than later I hope. I want a job so bad. Any how I shall return a bit later. Heres hoping everyone is have a great weekend and may it be as sunny everywhere else in the world as it is here. Peace out from your gay neighbor!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday Nights
Last night we had a lovely dinner with Matts parents and I cooked an amazing ham. Yes I can cook too and rather well I might add. I have cooked all my life and I guess being married to a chef is just an added benefit to not having to cook all the time as I have had to in the past.
Anyways I made a wonderful ham and Matt cooked the rest, potatoes, beets, and cauliflower. We did a wonderful job creating a great meal between the 2 of us. And his parents had a great time. I love listening to his dads stories and also love his moms stories and her reactions to certain things like how much she dislikes Lady Gaga. She kills me , but god you just got to love her, she is such an amazing lady and I have really grown close to her especially. Matts dad is extremely intelligent and I always feel like I learn something every time he tells us a story from his travels and his past and all the places he has lived. Love to hear about all those places, there have been so many and they are all equally interesting.
Yesterday I started back on my workouts and will do them at least every second day. The thing you need to know about being a gay man is that it is like being a 40 year old actress in Hollywood, no matter what age we get we have to try and look our best. This means we need to use wrinkle cream, I do every night. Shave your facial hair in a special way so it looks great and individual, I do my best at that as well. Dress as good and look as good as you can anytime you are in public, this means no damn sweat pants. So being gay is not only not a choice but you also have to work your ass off to be a good gay and to be accepted in the gay world. I do my damnedest to work out and to stay in in shape and to look good at all times. I will always do this not matter what, not because I feel I have to, but because I love myself.
Anyways I made a wonderful ham and Matt cooked the rest, potatoes, beets, and cauliflower. We did a wonderful job creating a great meal between the 2 of us. And his parents had a great time. I love listening to his dads stories and also love his moms stories and her reactions to certain things like how much she dislikes Lady Gaga. She kills me , but god you just got to love her, she is such an amazing lady and I have really grown close to her especially. Matts dad is extremely intelligent and I always feel like I learn something every time he tells us a story from his travels and his past and all the places he has lived. Love to hear about all those places, there have been so many and they are all equally interesting.
Yesterday I started back on my workouts and will do them at least every second day. The thing you need to know about being a gay man is that it is like being a 40 year old actress in Hollywood, no matter what age we get we have to try and look our best. This means we need to use wrinkle cream, I do every night. Shave your facial hair in a special way so it looks great and individual, I do my best at that as well. Dress as good and look as good as you can anytime you are in public, this means no damn sweat pants. So being gay is not only not a choice but you also have to work your ass off to be a good gay and to be accepted in the gay world. I do my damnedest to work out and to stay in in shape and to look good at all times. I will always do this not matter what, not because I feel I have to, but because I love myself.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Wow It is Cindy
OMFG... and WOW. I got to talk with Cindy today, she phoned me and talked to me for over an hour and will be here in less than 3 weeks and we will be able to reconnect and catch up. Cindy was a pivotable person in my life and part of the reason I came out when I did and where I did. After I knew Cindy and was neighbors and worked with Cindy I moved to Edmonton from Fort Nelson and she had been after me to come out and live my life and I did.
Anyhow she and I got the chance to reconnect as of late and it is lovely. I am so excited to be back in her life and am so glad to have always considered her a friend and for all the good times we had together in Fort Nelson a few years back and believe me there were quite a few great times between the 2 of us. I use to babysit her son Brody when needed and I enjoyed are times together as well. He was like my adopted nephew and Cindy was like my sister and still is.
Really it was so enjoyable to catch up with her today and we had so much to talk about and so much time has passed, but like others in my life , she is another wonderful woman who I can talk to and it seems like no time at all has gone by. Love friends like that when I can just talk to you like you have been here with me everyday. I am just so happy to talk to her again and can't wait to see my little Brody again and meet Cindys' new husband and daughter who is 11 years old now. We also got to talk and she filled me in on all the drama and happenings from Fort Nelson over the years since I left.
Cindy and I have always had so much in common and it seems that we have even more in common now, same amount of animals, both of our mothers struggling with cancer and our past relationships that have been up and down over the years. Glad you are back Cindy and I look forward to more long phone conversations and emails for the rest of our lives. Also looking forward to our visit in 19 days.
Anyhow she and I got the chance to reconnect as of late and it is lovely. I am so excited to be back in her life and am so glad to have always considered her a friend and for all the good times we had together in Fort Nelson a few years back and believe me there were quite a few great times between the 2 of us. I use to babysit her son Brody when needed and I enjoyed are times together as well. He was like my adopted nephew and Cindy was like my sister and still is.
Really it was so enjoyable to catch up with her today and we had so much to talk about and so much time has passed, but like others in my life , she is another wonderful woman who I can talk to and it seems like no time at all has gone by. Love friends like that when I can just talk to you like you have been here with me everyday. I am just so happy to talk to her again and can't wait to see my little Brody again and meet Cindys' new husband and daughter who is 11 years old now. We also got to talk and she filled me in on all the drama and happenings from Fort Nelson over the years since I left.
Cindy and I have always had so much in common and it seems that we have even more in common now, same amount of animals, both of our mothers struggling with cancer and our past relationships that have been up and down over the years. Glad you are back Cindy and I look forward to more long phone conversations and emails for the rest of our lives. Also looking forward to our visit in 19 days.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Exes
Back to my exes to let you all learn a bit more about me, when I lived in Edmonton I probably had more exes than not, but I never did find love there, only temporary satisfaction and that seemed to do the trick for a while. Love is hard to find , though in the gay world you can find sex almost anywhere you look. When I moved to Edmonton I went through quite the series of short term relationships ranging in time from 1 week to 1 year. Crazy times for me as I had just come out to my family and a few select friends so i guess I was really playing the field.
There was Barry who I was with for just under 2 months, there was also Malcom, a school teacher who was off and on for just over 6 months.Barry was a bit psychotic and even left me stranded in Calgary once and then tried to drive in the ditch on his way home and expected me to feel bad for him after i had to find a way back to Edmonton the next day....Crazy. Our relationship was short lived , thank god. Now as for Malcom, I had to see him behind closed doors and in private only because he was totally closeted as it was mid 90's and he was a teacher. I think it could have been great with him other than that fact!
Then we have Graeme and he was a hopeless romantic and I really enjoyed seeing him and everything about him said love until the fateful day after dating for about 6 months and spending time together with his busy work schedule(or so i thought) and my busy work schedule as well. It turned out Graeme was married with 2 teenage sons, he later left his wife and ended up dating someone else. Oh well it would have never worked with any of these 3 anyways and although it hurt at the time I realize I am much better off without any of them now.
Nick, the next guy I dated and actually ended up living with for a short time, was probably my biggest mistake ever. He seemed so sweet and was actually a psychologist, so I assumed he would be sane. Boy oh boy was I mistaken, he was a loon at that time. He did nothing but pine for his ex and he was just plain crazy, he didn't like me seeing friends and rarely even wanted to sleep in the same bed and then if I ignored him a little and did my own thing, which he was allowed to do whenever he wanted, I would come home and find him crying. God he even did that if I had to work overtime or do an overnight shift. He never trusted me and then become so god damn needy, I just couldn't take it. I left him after about 9 months or so and decided to come to Vancouver for a bit, just to totally get away and clear my head. Was here in Vancouver that time for about a year and actually lived in a room at what was then the Royal Hotel on Granville St.
Worked off and on here and did things for money I never thought I would , but I did and don't get the wrong idea, they really weren't bad things at all. So the things I had to do for money at that time were not too bad and paid the rent so that was fine. I did a little bit of nude photography for this one guy and he paid me well , just to take my picture and it was cash which was great. Then he got me to do a couple of movies for him, yes I did a porn or 2, and that paid even better. I paid my bills and that was great because for some reason I could not manage to obtain a full time normal job in Vancouver. I eventually got tired of that and went back to Edmonton for a bit. Will be back tomorrow with more of my past relationships and years gone by to help you to get to know your gay neighbor. So for now i wish you all a good day and I will talk to you soon. Happy Tuesday and have a Gleeful night from your gay neighbor, Peace Out!
There was Barry who I was with for just under 2 months, there was also Malcom, a school teacher who was off and on for just over 6 months.Barry was a bit psychotic and even left me stranded in Calgary once and then tried to drive in the ditch on his way home and expected me to feel bad for him after i had to find a way back to Edmonton the next day....Crazy. Our relationship was short lived , thank god. Now as for Malcom, I had to see him behind closed doors and in private only because he was totally closeted as it was mid 90's and he was a teacher. I think it could have been great with him other than that fact!
Then we have Graeme and he was a hopeless romantic and I really enjoyed seeing him and everything about him said love until the fateful day after dating for about 6 months and spending time together with his busy work schedule(or so i thought) and my busy work schedule as well. It turned out Graeme was married with 2 teenage sons, he later left his wife and ended up dating someone else. Oh well it would have never worked with any of these 3 anyways and although it hurt at the time I realize I am much better off without any of them now.
Nick, the next guy I dated and actually ended up living with for a short time, was probably my biggest mistake ever. He seemed so sweet and was actually a psychologist, so I assumed he would be sane. Boy oh boy was I mistaken, he was a loon at that time. He did nothing but pine for his ex and he was just plain crazy, he didn't like me seeing friends and rarely even wanted to sleep in the same bed and then if I ignored him a little and did my own thing, which he was allowed to do whenever he wanted, I would come home and find him crying. God he even did that if I had to work overtime or do an overnight shift. He never trusted me and then become so god damn needy, I just couldn't take it. I left him after about 9 months or so and decided to come to Vancouver for a bit, just to totally get away and clear my head. Was here in Vancouver that time for about a year and actually lived in a room at what was then the Royal Hotel on Granville St.
Worked off and on here and did things for money I never thought I would , but I did and don't get the wrong idea, they really weren't bad things at all. So the things I had to do for money at that time were not too bad and paid the rent so that was fine. I did a little bit of nude photography for this one guy and he paid me well , just to take my picture and it was cash which was great. Then he got me to do a couple of movies for him, yes I did a porn or 2, and that paid even better. I paid my bills and that was great because for some reason I could not manage to obtain a full time normal job in Vancouver. I eventually got tired of that and went back to Edmonton for a bit. Will be back tomorrow with more of my past relationships and years gone by to help you to get to know your gay neighbor. So for now i wish you all a good day and I will talk to you soon. Happy Tuesday and have a Gleeful night from your gay neighbor, Peace Out!
Tax Time
Today is the day I get to file my taxes, finally got all my T4's and am ready to go. Hopefully I get a refund and can pay off some debt with it. I actually don't mind doing my income tax, I know boring! I have become a typical old man in many ways and am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing , but whatever makes you happy. I feel like I am stuck in a rut in so many ways and am not sure how to dig myself out.
I have become accustomed to sitting at home and cleaning the house and looking for work everyday seems to be the same and they are really starting to meld together, this is so not me. I am also I think becoming a very depressing person and perhaps this is why people no longer want to be around me and hang out like i use to. I am not sure whether 40 did this or whether all the unemployment and trying to keep myself busy is to blame, or perhaps it is just me and everything that has gone on in the last year or so.
Who knows and does anyone really care, I know that Matt does, that is for sure! But I guess I have to learn to care again and maybe if I start to think more positive then maybe I can get back to where I was and who i use to be! I need to get back to the man who use to go out and go shopping , have fun on Sundays and call friends just because, this is what I need to do. It just seemed a whole lot easier when i was working and able to socialize as part of my job. I miss that and hope I find work soon. I just have to change my train of thoughts and turn things around for myself as I know there isn't anyone else who can do this for me.
I have become accustomed to sitting at home and cleaning the house and looking for work everyday seems to be the same and they are really starting to meld together, this is so not me. I am also I think becoming a very depressing person and perhaps this is why people no longer want to be around me and hang out like i use to. I am not sure whether 40 did this or whether all the unemployment and trying to keep myself busy is to blame, or perhaps it is just me and everything that has gone on in the last year or so.
Who knows and does anyone really care, I know that Matt does, that is for sure! But I guess I have to learn to care again and maybe if I start to think more positive then maybe I can get back to where I was and who i use to be! I need to get back to the man who use to go out and go shopping , have fun on Sundays and call friends just because, this is what I need to do. It just seemed a whole lot easier when i was working and able to socialize as part of my job. I miss that and hope I find work soon. I just have to change my train of thoughts and turn things around for myself as I know there isn't anyone else who can do this for me.
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