A new Week

Another week has come and gone and it is all of a sudden Monday again. I am going to meet up with my old friend Cindy in 3 weeks and can't wait to see her again and catch up. She has a stop over in Vancouver before going on to California, so we shall meet up for lunch at the airport here. I am so excited, as Fort Nelson was great to me and a great time in my life.
I have to really say I love face book and all the reconnections it has created in my life and all the old friends it has brought back to me and let me talk to them again.
I do believe that we now have baby next door to us, though I have no confirmation of this as of yet. I do know they were expecting a little girl and they were gone for some time, so I hope all is well and will wait for Isabella or John to bring us the news.
Monday like every week is our housecleaning day and it is all done, Floors are cleaned, vacuumed and steam mopped, everything is dusted and the washroom has been cleaned. So I have done my work for today. Now it is time to look for work again. God I am so tired and getting really annoyed with applying for jobs, will someone just see my qualifications and hire me already! I get so discouraged with the whole process and just wish it was like years ago when I could walk out of one job and up the street and get another job the next day. i miss those times and they don't seem to be that long ago. Well any how am glad that I have been given the chance to reconnect with old friends and look forward to catching up.
Anyways it is getting late here and almost my bectime. Talk with you all soon. Have a great night from your gay neighbor.

Sunday Sunday

Well it has been quite the week and by that I mean a great time was had by all. Matt and I are doing well and things are good at the M and M household. Reconnected with couple old friends over this last week and am so happy about that. I reconnected with Cindy and with Tanya, both girls from my times in Fort Nelson BC from years gone by, but as I was recalling last night, those were great years and we all had a lot of fun back then. Not too many worries and a lot of great and drunken times.
Wow to be in my 20's again would be so nice some days, but only if I knew what I know now and if I could have the same people in my life with me. That doesn't even sound possible does it? Matt's mom and dad are coming over for dinner today, possibly, if the road are better for them to drive on later. I can't believe the snow we have, crazy!!
Well today I want to talk about people and how important their possessions have become in their lives. I am not sure that I agree with that at all. We all have to remember these are material items and that they can be replaced, though pretty and valuable are they really as valuable as a life , a friend or a loved one? I really don't think so! So I guess what I am saying is I am tired of people who have to brag about their cars, houses and how big the TV is in their living room. Tell me how beautiful your children are and how much you love your wife or how you just met up with an old friend from 20 years ago. Who cares how much your new truck/car cost and what make it is? If you get from point A to B and do it safely and make it home , isn't that what matters? I am sorry and maybe i am just bitter or maybe I have finally realized that in my life I would rather talk about my love for my wonderful man, my gorgeous mother and my fabulous friends, for that is what is truly important in life and we never know how long those things will last and you don't get the option for the extended warranty in them either so treasure them while you have them and love and appreciate them every day. I know I am going to from now on. This is not directed at anyone specific, so please don`t take offense to anything I write. I only write what is on my mind.

Snowy Day Again

Saturday February 26th, and a good day for your gay neighbor. It is crazy weather here again and been snowing all morning. The ground is white and as we all know people in Vancouver don't know how to drive at all in the snow and we are suppose to get more. I guess this means that we are housebound, because I hate going out when all these other idiots are driving.
I just can't believe that we have so much snow at the end of February in Vancouver, it seems that we have had so much snow just in February alone. I can't believe it. Was talking to mom today and she said it has been minus 31 again there and that doesn't include the wind chill factor. We seem to be getting the weirdest weather all across the country this year and I am not sure what to make of it. All I can say is I really hate it and I am a summer person and deal well with all temperatures above 25.
In other news today, BC has the first ever women Premiere in our province. Wow that actually makes me happy and now if she can bring some change and clean up the mess left by her predecessor! Anyways not too much to say today. Waiting to see if the neighbors are coming by for a little cocktail? Have a great night and I will see you tomorrow.

reconnecting with the past

Today I was looking up old friends from past jobs and places I have lived and managed to reconnect with a very good friend from Fort Nelson BC way back in the 90's. I use to work at a bar with her, her mom and her brother. I have since learned from looking her up that her mom who I thought the world of and her brother who was an amazing man, they are both gone now, weird how life works. Sonny use to be so nice to me when others were mean and made fun of me for who I was and believe me it was tough to live in Fort Nelson and I had to be totally in the closet when I lived there.
Her mom is the one that gave me the chance in the bar up there and helped me to get where I am today in my life. She made me a much stronger person and also stood up for me every chance she got. Glad to reconnect with her and happy that I found her again, Thank You Face Book.
I have reconnected with many people over the years on FaceBook and am so glad to do so, many people were so important in my life and i think of them all often and wish that I would have stayed in better touch with so many of them. To those who I have lost touch with and are no longer with us, Rest In Peace.
Anyways Tanya i am glad you are back in my life and I look forward to more emails and seeing more pictures of you and your boys and your sister. take care and be well.
Fort Nelson was a crazy part of my life, but really and truly amazing and is the place where I grew up and by grow up I mean I matured and became a real and honest person and also the last place where I lived my closeted life. I then moved to Edmonton and oh my god, that was the craziest few years and coming out was quite the journey!

My Busy Thursday

Well it was a crazy busy day yesterday, went to my doctors and had a good appointment, though I think it may be time to find a new doctor. I truly like my doctor and he is a good doctor and very nice to look at as well, but I am starting to realize he may not be the doctor for me. He rarely spends anytime with me and the average appointment is less than 5 minutes. Not at all like my Doctor from Toronto who was always there for me and in every way did proper exams and listened to me and addressed my problems. I don't get that here. Maybe I should call Jason in Toronto and see if he can recommend another doctor, who knows I will have a look around and see what options there are for me.
Also went grocery shopping while I was downtown, went to No Frills and Quest and got all my sale items for the week. So we are fairly stocked up for a bit. Matt and I went out to Surrey to look at King of Floors and I must say , not at all what I expected and really not that cheap either. Nothing I saw advertised existed in the whole store. We then went to North Delta to visit an old friend of Matthews', his name is Raj and they use to work together a few years back. Raj and his wife have recently renovated most of their house and we wanted to see what they have done and how much things have cost them. They got a new kitchen and 2 new baths and new flooring throughout, great finishes and a very nice renovation. Not the finishes I would choose but we do all have our own tastes. I love the cupboards and counter tops and the tiles in both the bathroom and the kitchen. Congratulations on great choices. I t was also very nice to meet Raj finally after almost 2 years. He is a very genuine man, hard to come by people of that caliber!

Do we have a new baby in the neighborhood?

Isabella and John are due to have their baby any day now and honestly I can't wait. I am not sure if the baby has already been born, because we haven't seen them at all over the last couple days. Maybe they are at the hospital and she is in labor? Guess we will find out soon enough.
Now the big question is what should we get them for a baby gift and when? I am thinking of a gorgeous frilly dress for their new baby girl. What do you think?
I hope the baby was born yesterday, I always say that people born on February 24th are blessed in every way and will grow to be great people with a huge heart. Just like my grandmother had. My niece Amanda was born on the 23rd and is blessed like that. She is an amazing little girl and just fun to be around. Happy belated birthday Amanda!
Well I will let you know when the baby next door arrives. Have a great day from Your Gay Neighbor!

Our Good Night Conversations

Matthew and I have gotten in the habit of talking about important things late at night. It is nice to discuss the different things that are important to both of us. On Wednesday night before I fell asleep we discussed marriage again and whether to elope and have a party after wards or to just have a big wedding. I don't need a big wedding. I would be happy with just getting married here in the house with a couple witnesses and then having a party for all of our friends and family who wants to come over after wards.
I have waited for years to have the right to get married here and have the same rights as all my brothers and sisters and friends and everyone else and when that came about, I couldn't wait to get married! I lived in Toronto right after it became law that same sex couples could get married and because at that time I was not with anyone who wanted what I did at that time, so I worked at a B and B in Toronto for a while and planned same sex marriages and worked with couples both from Canada and the USA to get married. I think all gay men and women want to get married at some point in their life. But enough about that, I know that Matt and I will get married and I hope we have a nice ceremony and a great future together.
Last night our late night before we fell asleep discussion was about peoples perception when you apply for a job and what the interviewer sees and what they want to see and who I imagined they would hire. My opinion on this is that if I had a full head of hair I would have a job. People here primarily hire on looks and perception of what they first see! I use to wear a topee' at some points in my life and am thinking lately I may have to go back to that. It is like if a woman shows up at an interview in Yoga Pants and doesn't have her hair and make up done, she is likely to not get the job. I dress very well and whiten my teeth and do everything I can to look good, but having thinning hair does make me look older I believe! It is my biggest bother in life and really if I could afford it, I think I would get a hair transplant and just be done with it.
I guess that makes me a very vain person or does it? I just want what we all want, I want to be looked at and to feel attractive all the time. I think everyone wants that.

My Past Loves and Just plain Exes

Well the first man I ever loved was when I was 18 years old and I lived in Banff and was a head housekeeper in a hotel there for a couple of years. My one employee and then roommate was named Scott and he and I did everything together, we had an amazing friendship and therefor never loving a man before I totally was infatuated with him in every way. Not the healthiest relationship I was ever in, but what we had was great non the less because I knew he would always have my back and be there for me even if he never loved me back.
Now the first man I ever loved is not the first man I was ever with as love really has nothing to do with that does it, the first man I was ever with was a married man and I was 16 years old and saw him off and on until I was 25 years old and never told anyone about him at all. He was great to me and treated me well and could not be gay but I feel deep in my heart that he did care for me. We had great times and were there for each other when we needed to be and when it was possible and it was best for me at this time as well because I did not come out to anyone until I was 26 years old.
The second man I ever loved was also named Scott and I met him when I lived in Fort Nelson BC and I was just 20 years old at the time. He was wonderful and so great to me that I did everything to try to be with him, another 2 year infatuation that never went anywhere. He was a bouncer in the strip club I managed, yes a straight strip club with women taking off their clothes. I will always remember him, he protected me and use to tell me how important and wonderful I was to him. I lost Scott 2 years after I met him , one Sunday Night in the bar. He was off work and involved in some sort of drug deal and it went bad, I was working the bar and remember it all so vividly it still scares me. Scott pulled out a gun , shot another guy and then took his own life and shot himself. One of the worst nights of my life. I lost my best friend and my protector. My mom flew to Fort Nelson to be with me during this hard time. I miss both my Scotts although they never loved me the way I dreamed, they were both very wonderful and important men in my life.
I will share more of the men in my life over the next few days. We all have to have our non compatibles before we meet the one.

Days Gone By

Well it is now Hump Day again and things are going good for your Gay Neighbor. I have been still looking for work even though I feel like giving up. I am applying every where that I can think of including Vancouver and area, Calgary, and Toronto. If I can get a good enough job offer, then Matt and I can discuss a move if it is worth our while.
Been eating myself into depression I think as I am constantly getting cravings for weird things and then i make them and eat them. Yesterday i made Peanut Butter Squares and have already eaten half the pan all by myself. Will need to start working out again soon as that seems to always help with my lack of energy. I am the type of guy who needs to be doing something all the time and the more I do, the more energy I seem to have. Weird that way.I like to stay as busy as humanly possible and this is why the whole unemployment thing just drives me crazy in every way.
Matt cleaned his entire office today and has reorganized everything from top to bottom, now I think every room in our house has been decluttered except the basement tool room, which we will have to do soon I guess. I prepared the bathroom ceiling for painting today and will complete all the ceilings in the house next week I guess.
Tomorrow would have been my grandma Potters birthday. She has been gone from us now for way too many years and I still clearly remember the day of her passing, it was close to one of the saddest days of my life and I know most of my family felt the same sorrow. My father has not been the same since that day. I will give tomorrow a day of remembering to my Grandma and her life and the way that she influenced every one around her.
It amazes me every day that cancer can take so many people without a cause or apparent reason and it just works so fast and eventually takes over your whole body . I have lost far too many people close to me due to the Big C and hoping this will be a year of non loss and just happiness for all. Is that unrealistic.

Tuesday Night Again

Well it has been a very day again and I am happy , well for the most part I am happy! But when we think of it are any of us truly happy at all times in our lives or do we just fake it at times? I know I do, sometimes you just have to. I am not happy because of the whole job thing and people just keep asking if I am still looking for work or if I had found a job yet. The answer to that is I look every day, no nothing yet. I told Froy today that I am just ready to give up.
I got the dining room table all done and it looks great, sanded, stained and back together. Love the work I did on it and was so worth it. Just sitting here waiting for Glee and then it is time for the Biggest Looser, this is why Tuesdays are good. Been watching all the Glee videos on Utube through the new system on the TV and I have to say I love it, also like those mob scenes where they just start dancing to different songs in really neat places like train stations and stuff.
Just got off the phone with mom and I can always tell it in her voice when she is not feeling well. I hate it when I can hear that. She has her CT Scan on March 7th and then the Cancer Clinic in Edmonton on March 10th. I am so nervous for her and hate that I can`t be there for her when she goes.
Mom is also upset because her best friend Irene Walker who use to live across the street from us in Bowden is not doing so well, we are all very close to Irene and have called her Auntie Irene for as long as I can recall. She has had cancer for years and was told yesterday that they can not do anything else for her and to get her affairs in order. I think those are just horrible things to say to someone who probably already knows they have limited time left on earth.
I hope that I can afford to bring Mom out here so she can spend time with Irene before anything happens. I know that would make mom so happy and also make Irene very happy and if nothing else , don`t we all deserve to die happy!

Mondays are icky

Good Afternoon from Your Gay Neighbor

Not a really exciting weekend but a great start to our week thus far, I finished sanding the table top today and started to stain it, Not as dark as I wanted it , but I figure maybe one more coat of stain and it may be darker. Who the hell knows? I have to stain the under side of the table and then sand and stain the base which I had to take off to get it out of the house.
Matt went out today and was a sweetheart and brought me Mcdonalds home for lunch, I have an extreme weakness for the Quarter Pounder with cheese and large fries and the Ice Tea, also known as the #2 meal, yes I eat fast food and use to eat a lot more of it before I moved in with Matt. I have cut down a great deal. I guess it is because when I lived in Toronto I was 2 blocks for McDonalds and when I first moved back to Vancouver I was only a block away.
Snow off and on all day here in Vancouver, possibly the weirdest weather I have ever seen in this city in all the years that I have lived here. We have not had the snow that we had 2 years ago though we have had snow off and on and been so damn cold at night. So that is that! My comment as of late with all the protests and weird weather is that I really have to wonder if the end of the world will actually start in May of this year as some of those internet sites say, not something I actually believe in but hey it has been an extremely weird year and it could just be the end of the world as we know it.
So Matt is still playing with the TV, thought he was done with it, guess that is his new never ending project. I hope it ends soon. Damn it Lois, is all I hear every hour or 2.
I am still looking for work with no end in sight as yet and am starting to get totally stressed about this. I apply for at least 10 jobs a day through the internet and am not even getting call backs anymore. I did have that first interview at Salt Spring Coffee, but never got a call back from her regarding a second, so I guess I am not a suitable candidate  for them. Also about a month ago I had the first and second interview with White Spot, but I guess I was not suitable for them either. It is just frustrating to all hell and really frying my cookies. I have never had a problem obtaining employment like I have here in Vancouver and then when I do get a job I end up working for peanuts and having a shit head for a boss, WTF?
I hope to get a job soon and I will get out of my funk, I hate being in this position and need to find a way out and quickly. Have applied for jobs from here to Toronto and at this point am willing to examine leaving the city if it means work and money.
On a brighter note, saw Isabella today and she is all done work now and less than 2 more weeks and their baby girl will be welcomed into the neighborhood. Should start thinking of getting them a baby gift, maybe a really cute frilly pink dress. Any how she looks so good and has that pregnancy glow about her, so happy for them.
Well time to get my ass off the couch and go make some noodles to go with the left over chicken and figure out a veggie as well. Matt is having fish again, seems to be on a fish kick as he feels he will loose weight that way. I hate fish and the smell.

Oh What a Week

This was a great week for all the Tv premiers were on and all my shows are back on too. Glee and The Biggest Looser make my Tuesday Nights, Wednesday is for Survivor, Mondays we watch House, and he is finally getting back to normal...thank god! On Friday I have to watch Betty White on Hot In Cleveland and on Sundays we sit in opposite rooms and Matt watches all of his Family Guy and Simpson stuff and I watch my Amazing Race. I am a reality TV boy and Matt likes his comedy and of course he loves Cops on Saturday nights. Well that is what we do all week at night, exciting isn't it, the old gay married couple watch TV at night and sometimes in separate rooms.
So Sunday today and I stuck to my routine for Sundays is laundry day and cleaning the house and all those exciting things. I also started refinishing the dining room, was out side sanding wood for what seemed like hours , but I can't wait till it is finished and it is a gorgeous walnut brown color instead of this light beech color it is now. Let me tell you  a bit about our table, it is an old pedestal board room table that we picked up used about a year ago and have been keeping a table cloth on it at all times. The top of the table is about 3 inches thick and it is 6 feet long by 3 feet wide , a really heavy bitch.
I will post a picture on her of the finished product when I am all done and have it put away.
last night Matt finally got his full nights sleep and today he took the girls to Trout Lake to play for a bit. They came home a bit muddy , but looked like they had an amazing time. They love going to the lake and visiting the other doggies. I think they miss the Toronto dog park some days! Any ways I am quite tired today but I will see you all tomorrow.

Have a great Night from Your Gay Neighbor

Finally No more Tv Dilema

We got our TV Dilemma fixed. Matt is a very happy boy at this point and playing with his new controller box and remote control, Thank you Froy for coming over and spending the day with Matt and going shopping with him to get all this figured out at last. I no longer have to worry about him crawling around the tvs and hooking and un hooking wires every 2nd or 3rd night to get it to work the way he wanted, thank god and yeah.
He went out and spent a hell of a lot less than I thought he would and that is great as well. It makes me happy that he is now pleased with the TV and Blueray and everything else which is now hooked up to it. The greatest part is the satellite radio, cool, cool!
Just took the dogs out again for the third time today as they had to pee again, yes they like to go to the park and sniff around and go pee all they can. They basically just love to run around and play in the grass and look for little boy dogs. And i get a little exercise as well. Today Matt and I tried to take them to the larger park, but our little manimal, Mr Sparky tried to follow us so that was a no go. The little bugger figures he is a dog and crosses the street and tries to follow the dogs every where we go. It is crazy and very cute at the same time. He has been that way since he was a little kitten and we brought him home from the farm, he and Nadia both actually tried to nurse off the dogs. So sweet!
Well I guess you have figured out that I am a softy for the animals and would probably take more if we could and had the money to look after them. I love my girls and I love the cats, they are our family. Though Matts' parents don't always like it when I call them Grandma and Grandpa to the dogs. I think it is cute but that is just the way I am.
We did not win the lottery last night and are hoping for good luck next Friday when the Lotto Max is 50 million dollars, my god what I could do with that, in other words New York to shop here I come and Dolce and Gabana well let me tell you , I would be in heaven to shop there as a millionaire.
So you all have a great night and a good weekend from your gay neighbor and remember Peace out.

Beautiful Days,, Cold Nights

Good Morning from Your Gay Neighbor
  Life has been of a grand nature as of late and things are good, I am getting more hits on my blog and that is great and I am really starting to enjoy writing in here everyday. Am totally happy that people are reading and enjoying my writing. I actually work really hard on this and consider what I write before I do it, unlike when I speak , sometimes I just open my mouth and say it, not always a good thing to do!
  Gotten a few messages on face book lately from old friends and extended family telling me how much they are enjoying what I write, my head is swelling I tell you. I never imagined that I could write, but have no regrets in opening up our lives and talking freely on line for everyone to see.
 It is now Saturday and this week has been if nothing else very interesting and yet very nice and a great time. Matt has not been sleeping well at all and this has also affected my nights sleep. But life is still good. I hate it when he doesn't sleep proper because then I worry and it causes my sleep to be interrupted and weird. Last night for instance I rolled over at around 4am and opened my eyes and he was no where to be found, then again at 6:30am and he was next to me in bed, who knows?
  Matt is now sleeping during the mornings and I am awake by 7 or 8am everyday and start my mornings by grabbing a ciggy and coffee and taking the girls to the park for their morning pee, The cats usually follow and I have all 4 of them walking up the alley behind me, it is actually quite the sight.
  Yesterday Matt and I went shopping and picked up groceries and ground beef and stuff so I could make Chili for dinner, when I make Chili, we always refridgerate it and keep it for the next night because it is always better the second day. We also had to stop and look at stuff for the TV dilemma again, so please come and help if you know of a simple fix. Matt and I looked at PS3 and X-Box systems yesterday to see if that would give us everything we want. Also looked at the Apple TV component , but that will be a no go as the sales person was quite honest and stated that it is not the way to go due to updates and limitations. So we will see and figure out which way to go so that we can just play movies and stuff off our hard drive or laptop. Anyways I am sure I will touch on this subject a lot more until it gets settled.
  So we have had the most beautiful days here, but the coldest nights and The sunshine has been so amazing during the day and I have had the curtains open all day long for the plants and for me and the animals. Rogue yesterday was so cute, she saw the sunshine and as soon as I opened the back patio door, she was out on the deck and sunning herself, so sweet when she lies outside, just like a teenager trying to get a tan.
  I am becoming quite handy lately, yesterday i fixed the back door, it was sqeaky and very sticky so I adjusted the screws which operate the wheels on the patio door and then lubricated it all, not so noisy now and opens so much easier, yeah me!
  Today I am going to start refinishing our dining room table, will let you know how that goes. That's all for now and I will be back later. Have a great day!

Our Weird Storm

Last night was Thursday and we went over to Bo and Hopes for a visit and to have a glass of wine. I have really limited my drinking to one drink every couple of days and that is it. Until I get used to this and not just drinking because, it will be hard to be around alcohol or others drinking for a bit. Anyhow we went over to the neighbors last night and visited for a bit with them and Froy came up for a visit as well. Nice to catch up with them, as they were all on the Island last weekend for Hopes birthday.
So we were over there and the weather last night was just so weird and the strangest I have ever seen in my life. It was cold and windy and then all of a sudden it started to rain, then hail and then snow. But the weirdest thing was during the snow storm, it just thundered and lightning, only once, but it was so loud and hard it actually set off car alarms. And the lightning was like this bright blue streak across the sky. Something I have never seen before and was shocked. But still a beautiful sight. Times when you just want to have a camera to capture it all.
Hope and I were out on the back deck having a ciggy when this all came about. The flash of blue light seemed to go right atop of us and just lit up the whole sky.
Anyhow I came home fairly early and checked on the dogs, poor Rogue was in the washroom cowering from the thunder, she just hates any loud noises at all. Nadia and Sparky and Storm were waiting in the kitchen for us to come home and were just so cute watching out the back door and waiting for daddies to get home and pay them some damn attention. They are all very needy animals and all very loved by both of us. Our little family. Yes I spoil them a little, but who wouldn't?
So tired lately , not sure what is going on with me? Any ways I will keep you all informed and talk with you later today. Have a great Friday from your Gay Neighbor.

An obsession with the TV

Matthew has an overwhelming obsession to change the configuration of the TV and the blueray player to make it so he can watch video and stuff right off the laptop, and to watch movies on 2 different tvs at the same time. I am happy with just the way it is, though everything he wants would be nice, don't get me wrong.
Froy are neighbors tenant has all this shit and can watch tv from a movie on his laptop and stuff, to me too much technology and just more headaches in so many ways and then Hope and Bo have this new thing called an Apple tv which you plug into your tv and you can do the same thing. I say yes would be nice but all this shit adds up and is it really needed?
I say no, but who the hell am I, an innocent bystander watching the world of technology go by, hell I didn't even own a computer till 2002, yes I guess I am a little behind the times, but now I am kind of a computer junkie, I own 2 laptops and love to play casino and word games and don't go a day without signing on to face book, okay I actually never sign out of face book. But the whole TV thing has become and obsession for Matt and that is fine as long as he gets it to work soon. Please if you know anything about this stuff , leave me a comment so we can get it working and the sooner the better. Have a good day from your gay neighbor.

Humpday is here again

Happy Humpday to everyone from your Gay Neighbor

Been a great morning here thus far and I am about to get my ass in gear and do some laundry, and maybe tidy up the house a bit and then off to the store and get a lottery ticket for tonight. You never know, maybe someday I will actually win something!
I keep trying anyhow, just like looking for a job here in Vancouver, it is a huge gamble and I never know when my number will come up, hopefully soon. I applied for a job in Toronto as well and if I got that job it would definitely mean a move. Some jobs are just amazing that are out there and I am not sure what is going on and why I can't seem to land the job I deserve or shall I say that I want. this seems to put extra stress in my life and in everything that I do. This I really hate and need to somehow get under control.
I honestly never thought that turning 40 would be a punishment, I kind of though I would be rewarded for my experience as I got older, I never use to have this problem in anything and always had a job and usually in any restaurant or hotel that I chose! Well the job market has definitely changed and not just here in Vancouver but all across Canada and the whole world. i know lots of people over 40 who are in the same boat I have decided to row in.

A Night of Glee

I tend to love Tuesdays, 2 of my favorite shows are on and I get to sit on the couch and do nothing but watch TV and relax and laugh. So at 8pm every week on this night I sit back and watch Glee, possibly the best thing to come to TV since Knots Landing. Then after Glee I get to watch The Biggest Looser. I am not sure why I watch it but I do love to watch Bob and also think it is great that these people are brave enough to loose some weight on TV.
But Glee is just great and I love it all , the cast , the chemistry between them, the comedy, the meanness of Sue Sylvester and yes I love the singing. The sign of a true fag, loves great musicals. So any how my 2 favorite characters are Sue Sylvester and Beckie, she is just so damn cute.
Today was a busy morning for me, I weeded the garden and cut back all the dead stuff as my tulips and lilies are starting to come up and everything else is actually already becoming green and the trees are getting some new leaves. Spring should be here soon and then it will all be beautiful.
I also cleaned the house again and vacuumed and steam mopped everything. I love to clean, it relaxes me and keeps my mind off everything else. Which is quite necessary in these times of my unemployment. I just need to keep busy and do whatever I can do to stay that way.
I apply for at least 10 to 20 jobs a day and still not a damn word, this is just getting ridiculous and I am depressed even thinking about it. I hate that someone like me with all my years of experience and doing a job that I love I can not find work. Here in Vancouver the industry is so over crowded with 20 year old people who will work for peanuts or just really pretty people who are only hired for that reason. Someday I will get the job and it will be the one that is meant for me.Anyhow I will get a job very soon and if not here, then somewhere else and Matt and I can talk about that then.

Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day from your gay neighbor
Hoping everyone is having a great day and this day is for lovers. If you are in love or lucky enough to share this day with anyone who you care about, then please hold on to them and cherish every moment you have together and learn to adapt to them and accept them and their problems and everything that goes with them, for this is a sign of true love. You can not nor should you ever try to change that person. Everything about them is a part of who you fell in love with. Please remember that you can change yourself but you can not change anyone else. I am trying hard to do this and I am hoping that Matthew is able to do the same thing with me. I am a very complex person and also very loving and giving, Matthew is also that way but can be very selfish as well, this is my challenge. I love him very much and desperately want things to work, maybe I want this too much. Can you want to be with the one you love too much? I ask myself that daily.
I am by nature a very sensitive person I am also very animated and far too sensitive. I can also be very volatile and have quite the temper. Yes I can explode on occasion, though this usually happens now when I am provoked or pushed to a certain limit. Sometimes people will push my buttons and that just seems to send me over the edge. These are all a part of me and I need those who are in my life and love me to accept them and learn to live with them.
 It is hard to find someone who you can have a loving, forgiving and trusting relationship with, I am lucky as I have that at the moment. If you ever get it hold on to it an enjoy it every minute and every day, especially on a day like today, for lovers and those who are in love. Have a Happy Valentines Day from your gay neighbor. See you all soon.

Is It Me?

I am by nature a very needy person but at the same time a very independent man. I always have the need to be liked and loved as we all do. So when people are a bit stand offish towards me I have to sit back and wonder what the hell I have done and then I worry. I worry not so much about me , but as to how this will effect Matthew or other people in my life. I tend to judge people and go by instinct and my first impression is usually the one that sticks when I am meeting someone.
I worry for Matthew a lot as I know that I either directly or indirectly have stopped him from seeing people and going out with old friends or acquaintances. It is hard when you are in a relationship though because if your old friends don't like your new partner it makes it difficult to socialize with them at all. Also you always have to remember that we all change when we get into a relationship and become a couple. 
I often think that a lot of people would be happier if we had broken up and if Matt was still single and back to the way he was before I came along. But I hope that this is not true as I would want my friends to be happy and if someone came into their life, even if I didn't like them I would be happy for my friend. Is that so hard?
I am lucky as my friends and family see how happy Matt makes me and lets face it, they have seen some of my past partners so they know how good Matthew is for me and how we compliment each other.
So in the end I guess I have answered my own question, it is not me , it is them and they have to just get use to and be happy for their friends as do I.

Our Weekend

Good Morning From Your Gay Neighbor

Been a great and very productive day thus far and still going strong. I have stained and varnished  the table on the deck and watered all the plants and managed to go grocery shopping, check on the neighbors cat and take the dogs out twice for walks already. It is pouring rain out there today and the weather is just crazy. Not very friendly at all and no sunshine what so ever. Ick, blah, blah.
Later I will give the table another coat of varnish to make it shine and look pretty. Been watching the whole Egypt thing on tv lately and am so glad that they have gotten rid of their president but am not sure the army control is a much better option at all for this country. I guess we will soon find out and hopefully things will be great for Egypt and it's people.
Happy birthday to Hope. Here's to another year of happiness and all you wish for. may all your dreams come true. Also a very happy birthday to my great niece Chantel, your a beautiful and lovely young lady, don't ever doubt that and you can have the world, just believe.
Matt is having another funk day which means he is tired and wants ot spend the day in bed. he and I are very opposite in that respect, when I am depressed or have things on my mind, I need to keep busy and do stuff to just keep distracted I guess where as he prefers to just relax and sleep and watch movies.
Not me at all. It is a good thing we are so opposite and I love him for that. If we were too much alike I am not sure that our relationship would be what it is today. Things are going well the last few weeks and granted we still have our problems but at least we face them straight on and deal with them as best as we can. I do love my Matthew.
Talked to my mommy again last night and I worry for her every day. I think she stretches herself too thin and does too much, probably where I get it from? We are very similar in way too many ways, we both work too hard and are constantly busy because we make our lives that way and we also love and care and put others before ourselves all the time. I love you Mom and every day I love you more and worry for you and hope that someday you will worry for yourself first. I should really take my own advise on that one I think.
Okay that is all for now and I will be back later to tell you more. Have a great day!

Friday Nights are for ......

Well let me start by saying Happy Birthday to my sis Cher, who is the oldest in our family and turned 48 years old today. Cher and I are rather close and I have the utmost respect for her in every way. Next in line in my siblings is James and he will be 47 years old in September and we didn't always get along, although the last year we have become a little closer, well I have become to closer to his wife again anyhow. Next would be Char and she will be 44 years old this June. Enough said about her. Next is me and I will be 41 this year, yes I know I don't look it. Last is Brad and he will be 40 next December. God I can't wait to phone and bug him that he is 40.
  Anyways back to Cher, her and I are very close and talk at least once a week on the phone, feel bad for her some days, she works her ass off and always has, she raised 3 kids by herself.
 Tomorrow is Hopes birthday. and also one of my great nieces birthdays as well. February 24th would have been my Grandma Potters birthday. I will talk about her lots in a blog soon. Avery important lady who impacted my life greatly.
Anyhow today was a quiet day at the M and M house, not too much going on here. Matt did throw me a curve ball today and I bit, though I don`t think he expected me to. I looked at real estate in Nova Scotia as he threw moving there out to me and whatever, I guess I can be happy any where as long as I am with him. Okay I have my issues with living somewhere like Halifax, but hey house prices are so cheap and big, the perfect B an B. Anyways not doing anything right away but will keep you all posted. Have a great night and love to all from your gay neighbor

Salt Spring Coffee

Good Evening From Your Gay Neighbor
I had my interview at Salt Spring Coffee this afternoon and met with a rather nice lady, though I am not sure it went well at all and am not going to hold my breath. She said she would be calling by mid next week and scheduling a second interview. They are looking for someone for the end of the month, which would be great I guess for the upcoming bills anyhow. I actually felt comfortable there compared to when I worked for Starbucks and really did not enjoy too many of my shifts there but at least I stuck it out till I had a job that I thought would work out. It did not as you may recall from last year.

Damn It Lois

I hear those words at least once a day from Matthew and if I don't I know something is extremely wrong. I am not sure how he ever came to the point of calling me Lois but he did, so I guess that would make him my Peter. If you watch Family Guy, you know what the reference is. I think it is very cute though and has become just another enduring statement from him to me.
Yesterday was a day of running around and grocery shopping and blood work for the doctor next week and then a relaxing day and resting my neck and shoulder which are still a bit sore. Not sure what the hell I have done, but it is done and healing slowly.
Today is another day of basically nothing and just sitting here relaxing and watching Holmes on Homes and the rest of my shows on HGTV. I love that channel and could sit and watch it all day long. I have learned so much from watching it, my education on TV.
Matthew was having one of his low key days yesterday and I know now after 2 years to just leave him alone and let him be and sit and do his think. Every once in a while he goes through a funk and just needs to rest and sleep and watch movies that he likes. We all have days like that and I guess we aren't ever sure as to why. Maybe as humans we just start to think too much and then we get all stressed out and just depress ourselves.
I talked to Mom the other night and I guess that is why I didn't write yesterday, she has not been feeling that well as of late and is getting stressed about her tests that are coming up in early March to see if everything that she went through last year has actually worked. I keep my fingers crossed every day and just hope for the best. The waiting drives me crazy and I just hate it. Especially after last year and watching friends loose their parents from Cancer, it scares the hell out of me and I just can't even and don't want to imagine anything taking my mother away and her not being here with me. It totally stresses me out and I worry so much for her. I try not even to imagine anything being wrong.
Just keep your fingers crossed and put my mother in your prayers and also anyone else who is going through Cancer, it is by far the worst disease and biggest killer out there. And it is not always the disease but the treatment that makes people sick as I witnessed last year.
Anyways on a brighter note, I have a job interview today at Salt Spring Coffee as an Assistant Manager so I am going to run for now and do my research on the company and the history so I am prepared when I go in for my interview. I do this with every company that I interview with. I no longer go into an interview with the attitude that I really want this job as it just gets disappointing now, so I just go and am happy and if I end up with the job, great if not, then it was not meant to be and I will get another interview somewhere in the near future and will eventually get the job that is meant to be. I will let you all know how it goes when I get home. Have a great morning from your Gay Neighbor.

My Damn Neck

My god, my neck and right shoulder are so damn sore and have been now since yesterday morning. Sucks and I can not even turn my neck so today I think I will do nothing. Yesterday Matt and I finished the back bedroom and made it into a den, sitting room and guest room. It also serves as my closet. We put down the new flooring and baseboards all around the room and I have to say it looks amazing. Now it is painted , wallpapered, new closet doors and floored.
Matt loves it and now is back there all the time and has made it his smoking room, which is good because there is more circulation back there than out here, and the colors are nice and dark so it will be so easy to clean. So anyhow all the house is now painted and all that is left to do is paint the ceilings and eventually when we have the money, put hardwood throughout the house to match the back room and then re-carpet the master bedroom. Sounds like a lot of work but should not be too bad.
Paving has started on our street today and it is going to be lovely once it is all done. Matt is outside right at the moment and videotaping this for his daddy. So the last month we have gotten a new roof on the house, new sewers on the street and now a newly paved road. And a freshly done back room.
Today I have to go to Compassion club and then to Walmart and pick up coffee and yogurt. I know pretty boring stuff.
About the weekend I guess we are not going to Saltsprings as we haven`t heard anymore about accommodations and I am truly not comfortable taking the dogs there and finding someone to watch the cats while we are gone, plus the expense. So this year we will not be going to Hopes birthday. It was only a year ago that we were entertaining my sis and having a great time with all the Olympic stuff here in Vancouver and this year nothing.
I am still looking for work everyday and I guess I am not going back to Starbucks to work as I am under the assumption that they no longer want me back. The new manager that took over the store I once was a shift leader at is now just a child. Crazy how these people get to manage places. They are barely out of school and total yes men which is something I never was and will never be! I guess that is what you need to be a manager for a large cooperation is to be just a yes man, and not have a mind of your own or at least at work!
Anyways I am gonna run for now and will be back in a bit to catch you up some more. Have a great morning from your Gay Neighbor.

The Superbowl Really?

Okay yes gays do watch football, I watch just for the butts in the uniforms and some of the hot men. And yes that is the truth, that and the fact that there is a special episode of Glee on after wards. Those are the reasons I watch. I also enjoyed Christina singing and the girl from Glee singing as well. Love them both.
Anyhow we are still watching the game and I am bored out of my mind, but I did take a wild stab in the dark and say the Green Bay Packers would win and so far they are ahead. I only picked them because of the name. The packers, what a gay name that is! And it is funny.
We did not go to the bar today because they are likely playing football and I just can't stand all the gay screaming in the bars and some of these guys do not even know who or what they are cheering for, I am one of those so I just sit at home and as I say look at their hot asses in the uniforms. Mmm so tight and watch them run in the hot little uniforms. I know what a pervert, right. Okay I will add the score and who one tomorrow. Not too much else to say. Have a great day from your Gay Neighbor and good luck to whom ever you are rooting for.

Back Bedroom

Well Happy Superbowl Sunday from Your Gay Neighbor

We aren't up to too much today. I finished wallpapering the back room and am now putting things back together in there, have to rehang all the pictures and the drapes and everything like that and then Matt and I can start the laminate flooring in there to complete the look. I have to say I love , love, love the wallpaper and the painting job that I have done in there. Room looks so much bigger and is so finished now.
Let me tell you a little about the room and what I have done. the room is right in the back of the house and just off the kitchen and I have painted two of the walls a dark red and wallpaper the other two in a lime green wallpaper with a really nice silver design throughout(looked gold in the package). This is our guest room and I think it will be so comfy now when we have guests. I can't wait till my mom comes to visit and hopefully she is our first guest in the newly decorated guest room.
Mom is suppose to come to Vancouver for a visit hopefully in March or April after she gets her all clear from the CT Scan in March and is 100% Cancer Free. I can't wait to hear those words. I am sure she will be fine and all that pain and hard work she went through last year with her Chemo and radiation will pay off.
My mom went through complete hell last year and was diagnosed with Lymphoma and it quickly spread to her chest and brain and after 4 long months of an extensive chemo, she had to go through 4 straight weeks of radiation. The doctors told her after the radiation that they are sure the treatments have worked but they had to wait 3 to 6 months to let them run their course and be sure.
The waiting for answers is always the worst when it comes to any test results when dealing when any disease and I am quite sure that anyone who has gone through this can testify to this. Will let you all know how this turns out. I just can`t imagine Mom being sick again, nor do I want to.

Friday

Hello from your Gay Neighbor
 Oh what a glorious day in the neighborhood or at least at our house today. Got up bright and early and had a lovely breakfast with Matt and then finished painting the back bedroom, Love love love the red and tomorrow is wallpaper day, Can not wait. Also recovering a stool in the back room with the same red corduroy material.
  This morning I got the best surprise of my day as well, my best friend from school called  and I got to talk with Sandi for almost an hour. Let me tell you bout my Sandi, probably the most beautiful person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my life and she is always there for me , no matter if I am gone for 5 years or 5 minutes. Her and I have always managed to stay in touch and somehow stay close.It is one those rare relationships in life that is just everlasting and unquestionable. It just works and has for 30 years.
 Any how she is now a beautiful married lady with a wonderful man and the cutest twins and a gorgeous teenage daughter and still manages to work a full time job. I envy that some times, having kids and a job that you like, especially the kid part. 
 So Sandi called and her and I got to catch up on the phone for an hour, about everything that has happened in the last few months. I can't wait until the next time we go to Calgary and she can meet Matthew. Matthew has met most of the important people in my life and thus far they have all loved him. I am sure that Sandi will as well.
  Matt and I also went for lunch yesterday with Bo and Hope and the restaurant was very nice, but not quite my taste. let me start by saying the company was great, this meaning Matt, Bo and Hope, we all had a very nice time. I do have to say that the food quality was perfect, the service amazing , but to be honest the price for what you got for portion just didn't work for me. When I go out for any sort of meal I look for the trifecto of restaurants which to me is great service, amazing food quality and value to portions. I rarely find all three.So in the end Au Petit Chavignol did not make the cut of my favorite restaurants here in Vancouver.
 We also stopped over at Bo and Hopes last night for a visit and had a drink with them. Always nice to visit with them and spend time at their house or ours. I have been trying to limit myself to one or two drinks though on days if I have a drink now, so do sit for too long and just visit while drinking is hard for me. Next week is Hopes birthday and they have invited us to the party on Salt Spring Island, would love to visit the island as both Matt and I have never been there, but we do have the animals which we always have to consider when we want to go anywhere. It is kind of like having children. You either have to find a sitter who you trust or take them with you and lets face it packing up all 4 of them in the car is never too much fun and then having to take them with you, cuts out part of your holiday!
 It is also my sisters birthday next Friday so i want to take the time to wish my sister Cher a happy birthday. Actually just got off the phone with her and we talked for quite a bit ass well. I am so glad that I am able to be there for her and that she is there for me.
 It seems the women in my life are always and have always been so much closer to me and more supportive through the years.
 Well time to get my ass in gear and get to the wallpapering of the back bedroom. Talk to you all later and have a great weekend from your gay Neighbors. 

A link for discrimination of people by transit in Vancouver

This is a link and the letter I sent to a organization which helps protect people against discrimination by transit police. 

 Join this link, it is on our prejudice and discriminating Vancouver Transit Cops.  bru.vcn.bc.ca. My story which I have sent in to be published is below. I am all for stopping discrimination in this city once and for all , especially by those who have power and carry a damn gun. 

 On Sunday January 30th, 2011. My partner and I were riding the sky train and yes I was a little drunk. I did not have any money left to purchase a ticket on the way home. The sky train officer got on board at commercial drive and was checking tickets. He got to me at Nanaimo station which is actually our stop. After being rude to my partner and asking his age and everything, pardon me but how is any ones age their business. He was rude to me the whole time and belittling me by saying you must think this is my first time, Do you think I am stupid. And then asking me to get off the train, the officer did not even ask why I did not have a ticket. He just proceeded to give me this outrageous fine. I was really pissed off at him now and on my way out took the ticket and threw it at him. I feel that this man picked me out and made an example of me because I am gay! He was clearly and prejudice man, and I knew this when he looked at my partner who is black and gay, an even worse combination in this city. There is no way in hell that I will ever pay this ticket, or at least not at that price and I am so glad to see that an organization like your exists. The officer who I had my run in with was so obviously an incredibly prejudice and discriminating man. I wish now I would have kept my ticket if for nothing else but his name. I want to now file a complaint against the man and do my best to get him fired. I can not believe that these people are armed on our transit and not looking for criminals but fining people with out a ticket some outrageous amount instead of looking for those harassing others and beating up others at our sky train stops and stuff. I am also on Social Services , so to pay this amount is just not going to happen.

My Letter to Transit Officials

This is the letter I have submitted to Transit in The City of Vancouver

To whom it may Concern:

 I ride your transit system here in Vancouver quite frequently, although I do not find the service or the hours of operation to be satisfactory for a city of our size, though  I do still frequent it when I have to.
 I do not however find the services of Transit Police to be at all adequate nor do they make me feel safe in any way, they actually now make me feel threatened and belittled. I was fined on Sunday evening on your skytrain for not having a ticket in a fare paid zone! I feel that the fines that you have are unjust and very expensive for such an offense and am curious as to how a $2.50 fare can be justified to a $173.00 ticket.  This is my first question and complaint to transit authorities and to the city of Vancouver.
 My second complaint would be of the officer that fined me on Sunday evening. I do not have his name and actually did not keep a copy of your ticket that was issued to me. I have since realized that was a mistake and emailed you earlier today to get the ticket number and information so I may fight this. The officer that issued me the ticket for my offense was in my opinion a very belittling and condescending man. I also feel that I was singled out because I am a very out Gay male and feel that this had a lot to do with the way I was treated. I treat all in the world with respect but not unless they deserve and give it in return.  This officer was rude and was saying things like all you must think this is my first time, do you think I am stupid and then asking my partner his age and everything and that was after he showed his proof of payment, Is that really any of your business? Our age!
  The incident took place at Nanaimo Sky Train Station East Bound on Sunday  January 30, 2011 in the evening at around 7:00pm or 7:30pm. Now although I am guilty of not purchasing a fare ticket to ride your train on this event. I feel it is unjust to fine a person of a first offense with a $173.00 ticket. This ticket is much higher than most traffic infractions here in BC. It is really no wonder people do not use the transit system here as widely as other Canadian Cities. I know I will not be using it if I do not have to. Also it is no wonder more people are choosing to drive and further pollute and drive drunk in Vancouver.   I would be glad to be a ticket of a lesser charge and or have recieved a warning, which I think is more than fair in most cases. I am not sure how you all come up with your fine , but I think this needs to be looked into. Also maybe talking to your officers and making sure they are not so discriminatory against race, and sexual orientation. This is the first time I have ever rode transit without purchasing a ticket and I did this in a drunken state. I am not proud of either of those facts but I am still sure that if I had been a white female the outcome would have been different.
 In the end Greater Vancouver Area as you call yourselves, if you want to ensure people pay their transit fare make it a gated entry system and hire some ticket takers t work at all your sky train stations. Create some jobs for people in need and get the transit police out doing something useful and arresting those who are really breaking the law.
 As I state I know and accept my guilt in this but am not happy and plan to fight the amount of the ticket and the way that your officer treated myself and my partner. I am tired of being made an example from and pushed around by the straight and all mighty white man with a badge. You need to educate officers more on common courtesies and maybe they will gain respect instead of disgust!
 I look forward to your response and thank you for your time in advance.

Yours Truly,
Michael Potter

Another Busy Day

Good Evening From Your Gay Neighbor

Another busy day at the M and M house. Today we finished the fan in the bathroom, had to rewire one wire to get the light in the fan working. I also finished painting one wall in the back bedroom and then I recovered a chair for back there. I did the chair in this beautiful red corduroy material and then put in silver upholstery tacks for around the top of the chair. I love it.
Tomorrow I will finish painting the other wall and then wallpaper the other 2 walls with my nice lime green and gold wallpaper that Matt does not like, but I do and it will save me some painting. After the wallpaper and all the painting is done, then we have this gorgeous laminate that we have to put on the floors. Will be a beautiful room when we are all done and then it is finally time to finish painting the bloody ceilings in the house.
Also today our roofers showed up and let me tell you, not a looker in the bunch. In fact they were all a bit sketchy looking. But they have done a good job thus far and are also very clean and quite polite as well. Not at all what you see on TV when they have roofers on those shows. Tell me where those guys are and how do you hire the hot shirtless men to work on your roof. I really need to know.
Anyways I guess as long as the roof gets done and it does not leak any more. I think it will be fine and the next time when we have lots of money we can hire the hunks with out the shirts to do some sort of work around here, if for nothing else just to watch a hot man with a great body work in front of me. Any how not too much else going on here tonight.

Saw Isabella and John tonight and they are on their way to Lamas Class tonight as the baby is due in one month. I can not wait to see this little girl when she is born. Talk to you all tomorrow and have a great night.

Charles and Daniel

Charles and Daniel have been phoning a lot again lately and just being royal pains in the ass. I just don't like them and as for Daniel especially I really don't want anything to do with him ever, nothing personal, we just don't have a damn thing in common and he has been a total ass to me in the past.
And Charles is just a prick to me! He hit on me for over a year and wanted nothing but sex from me. To tell you the truth that was never going to happen. And then when I did finally give him the chance, he couldn't perform and also didn't want me anymore, Oh well and say la ve!
Then I had it out with them at Pride and told them both what I thought of them and why. They are Matts' old friends and I am not sure they are even friends or know what a friend is. Daniel keeps on asking Matt for sex and as for Charles , the first year of our relationship he did nothing but try to get Matt to go to sex parties and stuff with him.
This is why I am just done with them. I try to be tolerate of them and socially nice for Matts sake but that is it.

Tuesday Night

Good Evening From Your Gay Neighbor
  Well it has been a couple very busy days here at the M and M house. Yesterday we redid our pantry and had quite the time to try and construct that the way we wanted. A lot of challenges and things did not go exactly as we planned, but in the end it all worked out and it is functional. Not at all what Matt had in mind I am sure and we still need a lot more room for food storage.
  Today was also very busy and we put a new fan in the bathroom and light in the bathroom, now very bright and quiet in there. Love our new fan, we just have to figure out how to wire the light which is with the fan. But the new vanity light is so much brighter than the old one and updates.
  This whole week will be totally crazy, the roofers start tomorrow and we get our new roof. God that will be nice, also have an insurance adjuster coming by sometime this week to check out the damage inside on the ceiling due to roof damage. Then I can finish painting ceilings and the back bedroom.
  Matt also has his cooking lesson tonight and that will be on from 6:30 to 8:30pm so I will make myself scarce and go and do some grocery shopping for a bit. Gonna run down to No Frills again while they still have their dollar sale on. Got to also go to Canadian Tire and maybe a quick stop at Value Village.
  I also stopped at Starbucks yesterday and talked to them about going back to work there. I really need a part time job, and will take anything at this point and time, yes I will even go back to Starbucks, though not my favorite it did cover my bills, or at least somewhat.
  I apply for jobs everyday on line but have not got anything promising as of yet. I will keep on searching and wishing for all I want. Wish me luck.